Alone and afraid

I’m a 52 yr old grandmother, I’m alone with a unruptured annie and afraid. My children all have young families and live in 3 different states. My mother and siblings live out of state as well. I have always been very independent and self reliant, now that independence is costing me dearly. My Neuroradiologist sent me to a Neurosurgeon because he felt clipping was my best option. The Neurosurgeon today said he’s sending me to another Vascular Radiologist because he thinks coiling is going to be the best option. Apparently my annie is half in bone and half in tissue. I live paycheck to paycheck with no one but my dogs. How am I going to get through this? You know you find out who your friends really are when things get tough. Unfortunately I was wrong about the ones I care about the most. I’m scared but they don’t want to talk about anything that makes them uncomfortable, yeah let’s make this all about them! I believe I will probably go crazy before it’s all said and done. Any advice other than praying or don’t worry…

hey where do you live? i know where your coming from.i here if you need to talk or yell ,i do alot of in port st lucie if you need me linda

Linda I’m in Houston, TX. Got drunk last night, guess it was time for things to come to a head (pun intended), but of course it didn’t help. I just wish I didn’t know, but once you know you can’t unknow!

i dont drink anymore but if i lived closer i would have went with you i went though mine a year ago on the 22 and it still no better my head still killing me. had the coiling and of course the stoke with it alot of bleeding so alot of memory oe luck


I'm sorry to hear that it's not better for you. I wish you were here I would let you go with me. I have wished to have someone with me for the doctor visits even, but I can't expect friends to take time off work for that. Please take careand let me hear from you too... Thanks Cleo

I’m so sorry for you. Many of us are in similar boats out here. What size is your annie? They’re just watching the 2 I have. I, too, have dogs who I love, they’re my best friends. Let them help you through this since your friends seem to have let you down. One thing i’ve observed is friends/family seem to want to minimize the seriousness of this issue, I guess in an effort to help me deal with it. It seems to have the reverse effect. It’s serious, at least to me! Perhaps if you look at people’s reaction and behavior from that perspective it will help you understand where they’re coming from. Seems many people these days are somewhat self-involved. Guess it’s a sign of the stressful times we live in. Good luck to you.

Thanks Mitch for the kind words. My annie is 4mm with a large neck. It's weird because my dogs know that something has changed and yet all that has changed is that I now know about something that I didn't know before. It's just the seriousness of it that I need to be able to deal with. I think I need to do that without involving the people I see at work or play. I need to be able to reassure my children, but I need to start with me first. There hasn't really been anyone to reassure me, that's the part of being alone that really sucks...

So how long have they been watching the 2 you have? Has there been any change? Do they have a future game plan?

I really just found out about them on 1/7/2011 at the ER. They’re about 3mm each and appears are not leaking. Had MRI/MRA last Monday, CT angiogram Friday and now they want full angiogram and MRI of my neck next week. My insurance refused to pay for the CT angiogram even though it was confirmed I had annie’s, docs wanted to verify they weren’t leaking. They finally gave in and covered it. Now they’re refusing the angiogram and MRI of neck. Doc checking for dissected carotid and wants to really look at and measure the 2 annie’s. I don’t know what kind they are or what they’re called. It’s been a whirlwind week. One day I’m fine with “nothing to worry about” and the next day they want more tests to be sure. Whew. Hang in there, you’ll get through it OK, you have to for your doggies! It’s hard not to think about it but I guess that’s what I have to do. At least we can all talk here. Thanks for “listening”.

My insurance was a bit of a problem at first but now we are on the same page, hopefully they will get on board soon and not add to your stress levels. All the tests and doctors are exhausting. Mine’s been going on a month and doesn’t look to be over for a while. Good luck my new friend, Cleo

I haven’t told any of my friends. For some reason I’m the uncomfortable one. I enjoy chatting it up here instead with those who get it. I have only been a member for a few days and have found people to be welcoming supportive and understanding. It is about you and your life. I’m here if you need to chat or vent.

I find that most people just don’t know what to do when they hear what’s going on with me - it’s hard to answer the “how are you” question, because really, it’s such a complicated answer, and it seems to make so many people uncomfortable, or come back with the pat response of “sounds like it’s all better” or something along those lines. Yes, this is the one place I’ve found where people get it, and it means the world to me. I’ve tried finding support gps where I live but there don’t seem to be any. I’d love to be able to have this support face-to-face. But good we’re all here for each other. Nobody who isn’t in this boat can really understand it, that’s my belief.

I was alone for abot 10 years. I just happen to meet someone on an online place called "eons'...3 years ago, we are married a year next month. But I like you was very independent. I lived by the mountains outside of taos and Santa Fe on a ranch.....................but moved to NJ......then he lost his job at Merck and we moved to Ft Worth where all my kids and Grandkids are. If I had not moved, the way things went I would be dead now.

Back in NJ they did a brain scan, top of my brain, carotid checks...because I complained of always haveing my heartbeat in my ear, for two solid years. Everything came back neg! I did the brain scan because I'm a nurse, and I was geting quite forgetful, afrain I was getting dmentia or something. They told my brain was "clean."

After we move down toFt Worth my Husband got me to an ent.....we wanted this hearing aid that they told us in NJ to get, it can sometimes train the brain to tune out the heart beat..The doc said, "I want to do another test on you...I said, "no" I have been tested out..he grinned and said just one more, an MRV?MRA...Lordy I thought, there won't be anything, ANOTHER TEST! RATS! Well by a miracle there was the aneurysm...they thought was 3 MM, surgery showed it was 8MM..dowards, wrapping around my brain..PLUS the reason for my forgetfulness, I has some leaking BEFORE surgery, but it decided not to blow, but clotted on my brain.......

I needed some help, more for emotional support. I think I would have moved from my beloved land out here had I not met John, to have my children help me. I claimed disablilty, going to get it. I will still keep my nursing license. Just renewed it.

How did they find yours"""""""""""""Hugs Sage

Hi Sage,

I was in California visiting my 3 week old grandson. My daughter and I went shopping and we sitting at an outdoor cafe' drining coffee when an employee dropped a patio umbrella on my head giving me a concussion. The next few weeks I had several tests done. Typically my Neurologists only does MRI for concussions, but because I was have some confusion, language and memory problems he included an MRA in my work-up. So that's how we found it. Still doing tests and being passed around from one doctor to another. I really wish I just had some sense of normalcy back in my life. I want them just to decide what if anything gets done so I can move forward. Everyone thinks I should move to be near family, but I have to support myself and changing jobs in this market at my age is no easy feat. Not sure what to do. Thanks for sharing your story with me. Cleo

Are your children supportive, and can they come spend time with you as you go through some of this? Do they know how frightening all of this is? I hope that they will be able to be supportive and be with you if you do need treatment.

Your going to get through this!!.

Hi, I know a little about how you feel. I live in one country while two of my three children live in another and the third lives in the same town as I do but does not have a lot of time at all. My husband is never home because he works out of town and when he is home pretty much sleeps. I have my two dogs and believe it or not they are going to be very important to you during this.(of course they are important in anycase).

This is something that makes people that don't understand uncomfortable and that's just the truth of it. Find out what is the best option for you to repair or remove this and remember you always have people here that know what your going through.

Your in our thoughts!


Oh btw I am a soon to be 51 year old grandmother…:))

Talk to a social worker at the hospital...and find out what they can offer when you go, home health care, etc., you cannot be alone and they should be able to provide some sort of are going to have to board your dogs more than likely...tell your vet....and see if they can help you out...these may not be answers you want to hear...just feel so bad for you and trying to help...gotcha in my thoughts...Colleen

You will get through this and, believe me, the support you get from others on this site will really help you. Like you, all of my three children live away from home, one in Paris and the other two in different parts of the UK. I have found that with my three children they find it hard to talk about what I am going through because they find it hard to deal with rather than because they don’t care. Take the support which is offered here on this site from people who understand what you are going through, it will help to keep you strong. Regards Caro

I am a 46 year old survivor-and several others on here are older chickies, too. I think what helped me the most was my Faith, because God always hears.