2 weeks from today, 3 years ago, they found my Annie... It some times seems so surreal.. Until I feel the scar on my head, or my PTSD acts up when I'm in a crowd of people.. Or I hear of some one who JUST found out that they too have an Annie.. Then it ALL comes flooding back. The fear, the sadness, the anger, the questions of what now, that day in the Hospital right before surgery.. I was one of the lucky ones, found before rupture, clipped with no complication.. BUT, it still messes with your emotions.. I mean, for crying out loud, they sawed my head open, and they were IN my brain!! I thank God every day that I'm ok.. But, from time to time I still get really pissed that it happened.. Still have some anger.. Sadness.. Makes me cry just writing this.. Still afraid that it will happen again.. Some times I sit in a puddle on the floor and go back to that day and I just cry my eyes out... Enough of my little pitty party. I knew that this is the one place I could write this and not be judged..
Now for all of you just beginning this process..
You will come threw this, it will suck.. But keep going, let out your thoughts and emotions here!! WE GET IT.. some time family and friends mean well but don't understand. I mean how can they? WE understand.. And really truly, let your emotions and feelings out, it helps.. Get pissed, get angry (throwing eggs at a wall works wonders), get sad.. CRY.. It helps the healing process.. And it takes time.. Don't forget to laugh.. I know that sounds kinda odd, but it helps..
Love you ALL
Sending a BIG hug, much LOVE and many prayers..
TBP