Would love some advise pls

Hi im new here but joined for some advise pls.

My stepmum (57) had a ruptured aneurysm last tuesday and although she pulled through the operation (which doctors werent hopeful about) i dont know much about what happens now. She has come out of the induced coma but she isnt showing signs of knowing me or my dad. I dont know how to help my dad through this and struggle coping with it myself, we told my kids this wkend, because they were asking to see her, didnt tell them the ins and outs but told them she was very poorly in hospital. Hard for me to be strong and be strong for my dad and have searched the internet to get as much info as possible but the doctors aren't saying much to us, she has been moved from ICU into high dependancy unit but thats as much as we know. She cant communicate and like i said i dont think she knows who we are.

What can we expect in the coming days/wks. we think she may have had a stroke too, she cant move her right arm or right leg, the operation was on her left side of her brain.

Any advise of what i can do to help my dad and help her to communicate would be great

Thanks in advance

Hi Desi and welcome, it is still early days for your Mum and everyone's story here is different, I was 56 when I had my rupture and when they sorted that out they found I had another aneurysm which they operated on in April 2012 I have been very fortunate in that I have few lasting problems, just be there for your Dad and I really hope that your Mum comes round soon and recognises you both, I thought that my aneurysms were far worse for my children as I was not aware for a while what was going on, I will pray for your Mum keep strong and support each other, Jill xx

i will be praying for your mother. It is a little early in the recovery processs to tell how much recovery will happen. The brain is a complex organ that is a little fussy when something intrudes upon it. It takes alot of time and patience for the brain to heal. Everyone's recovery story is different. You have to come to the right place for knowledge and support. There are places on this site that will help explain what she is going through. Hang in there and keep us updated on her progress. Brain surgery recovery is something that you have to take, at times, minute , by minute, hour by hour, day by day. It is a big roller coaster ride of good days, bad days, and not so good days at times. Just know that there is hope.

hi Desi-so sorry-please be patient- i was the same way but no stroke - the bleed on the right side affected my whole left side. One day i moved my arm, then my leg & finally they taught me to eat, walk and did occupational therapy. i didn't even comprehend things for many days. my niece visited me but i dont recall ever seeing them- so i'm guessing you just need time. My advice is just keep repeating things- it will finaly sink in,they must have told me a hundred times what happened but the words meant nothing then i understood but didn't believe them-it took weeks to finally "get it" Also just interaction with her will speed things up,love and support will do wonders! the therapists said 7 weeks or 7 years!!! the drs wouldn't even speculate, she probably recognizes but is unable to process yet-hang in there please show this to your dad- i can now walk about 50 yrds, shower and cook light meals- so there is always hope-i'll keep them in my prayers for sure and you of course. if you have any questions please write me. Bless you & yours!

hi thanks for your replies, looks like time is the healer, sorry not been back on, just been too busy but thanks for replying and i'll try to get back on to update on her progress.

Hi Desi...No one can tell you what to expect the next couple of weeks, but I can tell you that your mom's brain and body have been through alot and she needs lots of rest and you and dad just talking to her and telling her you love her...

This is a long journey ... and it can be not only hard on the Survivor (mom)...but on the caretaker as well...sometimes the littlest improvements (more or less that are little to you) are very big for the brain...it happens but in baby steps...

Read some amazing stories of people who were like your mom and have come such a long way...

If you have a belief system ... it is time for Dad and You to depend on it...and in the meantime, I will keep you in my prayers...

Gotcha in my Thoughts ~ Colleen