Brain Aneurysm Support Community

Sorry to be a pain

#1

I know I have been talking a lot and I am sorry. It is just feel no one understands. My angio procedure was a year ago and that is where they found the 2mm wide necked Pericollsal aneurysm, I only knew I had one because I had a thunderclap. ( although it did not rupture) essentially, a small peri-wide necked can be tricky. So, they said leave it alone. In October I started having migraines, so I went back and had a CT and it was still there hanging out. ( I named it Blobbo) I was told you cannot run to the ER every time you have a headache.
I never think about it- but they sent me this note that said it was time fir my annual angio-and then the feelings started again. Then they recalled the message and said you had a CT in October. Whoops- see you next fall.
people think I am stupid or dramatic for worrying about something so small-iI mean pretty much all people get them–that irritates me and devalues my emotions. I have a very stressful job that leaves me emotionally and physically spent and I sometimes think…what if it ruptures? Am I being stupid?

#2

Are you being stupid? NO, definitely not.
I think the old saying of ‘be aware, but not alarmed’ sort of suits. I’m not so much of the worrier in my household, but my wife, OHH DEAR. Every ache and every groan from me and she’s ready to hit the panic button. On a few occasions we have ended up in the ER but only once have they kept me in hospital. It has shown her that it’s not always a major, major issue.
I now look for a progression of symptoms. For me a headache… Well, that’s pretty ‘normal’ (if you can call them ‘normal’) even a severe headache isn’t unusual. But if the meds don’t work and that progresses to numbness, visual disturbances and/or vomiting, it’s a sure sign I need to act and act fast. Now these are my signs and over time I have learnt those signs. You too will learn your signs, sure be aware and try to manage with you normal tools ie meds, but when they don’t work, it’s time to act. As for the judgement of others, they don’t have to live with this, YOU DO. Let them judge if they wish, you are protecting yourself and that is nothing you should have to apologise for.

Merl from the Moderator Support Team

#3

I’m in total agreement with Merl! Who are they to judge if they haven’t walked in your shoes? I think fear of the unknown and the what if’s are our greatest handicap. Manage and control those things you can. Things you cannot control, is for someone else if that makes sense. If I had a magic wand, I’d wave it so no one had to experience a rupture. And Abbycat, here you do not ever need to apologize for your emotions, it’s what we are all here for. Someone reading your eloquent writing is saying to themselves, thank you, I feel the same way. You have the courage to ask and explain, that’s a wonderful gift!

#4

My sister told me this morning that people walk around all the time with them and the doctor said it was probably okay. Sure it probably is but it feels like I am being discounted. I am being a baby. And I never said

I was dying I just said now that I know

It is there in more cautious. Apparently that makes me dramatic.

Sigh.

Kasandra Stebner

#5

Kasandra, I don’t think you’re being a baby. Your sister’s correct, BAF says 1:50 people in the States have a brain aneurysm, and about 30,000 rupture yearly. So odds are in your favor that you won’t rupture.

Being one of the 30,000 in 2013 I truly don’t know how I would react if I had known. What I would recommend is looking at the ISAT try this one. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2669592/#!po=20.4545

Take those stats to your next Dr visit and ask them. And show your sister. Maybe it will bring some more light.