I have my appointments today with the SS doctors. And it’s been over a year since I worked full time (back in December of 2022) but I am working part time up to 22 hours a week. And yesterday my boss presented a new job for me they think I can at least try and I would like to. I didn’t tell them about looking into SS.
My question is that if I take this new job and go full time then figure out that I can’t handle the new job and have to go back part time does that negate the 5 month waiting period that I already have in place since I haven’t worked full time up to this point?
Thanks
Good question! I don’t know. It took me over two years to get my SSD and they only sent me to a therapist. The attorney we hired said I didn’t get it for my rupture but for my back surgery the year before I ruptured. He also said that in NC there are no boxes for SS to check for a rupture so they use the boxes for ischemic strokes. Every State controls their own SS. He was insistent that we would go to court and I not wear my sunglasses as my words were really bad without them. But I called my new Senator’s office and spoke with the young man who was over the Health issues. He made a call to SS on my behalf and I had it the next week. I had met him while lobbying the year before.
Your State might list what happens if you apply and try a different job. You could also have a friend ask them and not mention your name. In NC, if your college educated, SS here in NC says you can do a factory job. If your education is lower, the attorney told us that it’s easier to get SSD.
I did have a colleague who told me she had a minor concussion and was put on disability within a couple of weeks after applying. She had quit working in CPS, went to a friend of hers that owned their own business and had the friend write a letter to SS explaining she couldn’t work. Sort of angered me…but it also showed me there are work arounds.
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So I found out from a friend that if I went back to work full time it would negate the five month waiting period and if I couldn’t stay full time the claim would start all over and I’d have another five month waiting period.
As for the meeting, I’m 43 but they allowed my father to come in with me but he wasn’t allowed to talk.
They had me fill out forms that I have already filled out and that took longer then the appointment. I had the meeting with their mental dr and the physical dr had to be rescheduled. Which I had to call back this morning to reschedule and that is now 2 weeks out. I wasn’t sure if they were testing me on this but I am a laid back person and in general I handled it well but do not want to wait anymore. I think I was more concerned about it then angry and I think that it showed
For the mental test they had me count to 20 which I can then had me count back from 20 at intervals of 3 which I think I got that correct too. They had me remember three words but I think I only got 2 of them right. Also asked me questions about education and work and things that I like to do and eating habits as well as day to day things. All pretty generic and a lot of the stuff is on the forms they had already had me fill out.
Overall I was truthful in that I told him there are things I could do at 41 that I can’t do at 43. I have to be dependent on my parents as roommates and don’t see how that can change. I told him I like to walk but I fell on the ice so I can’t walk in the winter. I like to ride my bike but i tried to once last summer and wasn’t able to… that I can do simple cooking like microwave things. And that my parents take care of things like laundry and shopping and cleaning, which again is my dependent on them. But I worry as they are in there 70s where will that leave me when they pass away. Overall I want to have a relationship with someone but at this moment I don’t see how I can, I think I put that on one of the forms
I’m glad your friend knew about the waiting period Rick. It can be really frustrating to wait for SS wheels to turn so I’m glad to read you’re a laid back guy. Your independent life skills can improve but it takes a good bit of time. I couldn’t cook unsupervised per my ST and the Neurosurgeon made it one of my many rules. I learned that I could help better by doing all the prep work and putting the different items in different containers so I could see them and I’d still leave one or two out😂
Mom was reteaching me how to cook and we were having as much fun as we did when she first taught me. Once, when she was in hospital, Dad wanted hot dogs so I told him he’d have to come sit at the table and watch me cook. He didn’t want to. Dad called me into the living room and was talking. Of course the hot dogs burned, but we ate them nonetheless. BH came home and boy did we ever get scolded! I truly didn’t understand why I was getting a scolding since we ate them and didn’t waste them. Fortunately Dad didn’t keep laughing when it was his turn to get the wrath of BH.
Things will improve for you but you need time and a lot of it. I think you’re about a year out from your rupture. In five years, you’ll be able to do more things. I think it took me four to be able to go to the grocery store successfully. I tried the first year but I didn’t get an exact list of the few things needed. I couldn’t remember the brand or the right type, I came home with lots of different kielbasa that time and was completely overwhelmed, disoriented and confused. Some days I still have trouble especially if I go somewhere that only has self checkout. The folks that are supposed to help don’t. When I talked to a store manager about it he was really nice and gave me the district manager’s number. I was told the younger people prefer it. I suggested they get a couple for those of us who despise self checkout and have problems with it. Of course they said it came from the head office and they couldn’t change it. I rarely go to those stores by myself.
When you get your SSD, you may be able to access other programs in your county. Please don’t worry about that now. Remember one day at a time, one goal at a time. It’s rather fun for our parents to teach us again and that can make it fun for us. I started with laundry (and Mom) as I don’t much like the way BH does it, but please don’t let BH know🤣
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Yes I am just over a year… I recently read about a girl who five years ago had a stroke and now she is training to be a professional wrestler. It’s insane the work that she is doing and able to do. It gives us hope that time will heal and things will continue to get better
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Last week I had my physical with the SS nurses. There were 2 of them and they came to see me separate . The first was concerned about my stability. She asked me to put on a gown and I asked if it was necessary as my rotator cuff is bad and changing clothes is the hardest thing for me to do even though my dad was in the room with me. She said you don’t have to. I got the sense they wanted to see if I could do it and how long it would take me…
The second had me tie a knot which I could. She had me do different things to check my mobility. I did pretty good overall, but I know my condition is more mental.
This week my lower back has been bothering me, I think it has to do with the weather changing but I’m not sure. My mom said too bad this wasn’t the case
Last week when I had my appointment.
Today I go get my blood drawn for a specialist I see in 2 weeks about my potassium being low.
Then next week I go to the dentist and my dr found me a mental dr finally, I go see him for the first time next Wednesday, I look forward to it. Waiting on an appointment with my primary dr now. And my follow up about SS, which is probably a month out
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My goodness Rick, you’ve been a busy man! Sounds like they were checking both your fine and gross motor movements. Rupturing can take its toll on both. It takes a long time to get the wheels of Social Security moving when it comes to their decision. Fingers crossed it goes your way the first time!
It always amazes me the way different States work for SSD. Here in N.C. they only sent me to a mental health therapist, no doctor. I would have thought they’d send me to a Neurologist at least. I have always been confused as to why they sent me to a therapist instead. My old neighbor was sent to both a therapist and a doctor when he applied. He’d fallen through the roof of a commercial building, doing a good bit of damage to his back.
Here’s hoping your rotator cuff heals quickly so you don’t have pain when you get dressed and undressed. I’ve messed up my lower back pretty bad. Just started PT for it and she thinks it’s a disc problem but I don’t have any images for her to see. If your doctor sends you to PT, don’t forget to do the exercises they teach to help you heal!
I’m glad your doctor was able to find you someone to speak with, therapy really helps when they teach as skills we need to cope. Sounds like you and your doctor are on the ball for everything happening. Good job!
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So a lot has been going on. I got denied from SS of course, they say I can’t do what I do for work but I can do something else of course…
So I hired the attorney and they are looking into the case. Who knows how or what is going to happen next. Could take a long time they said.
I have been going to the mental Dr every other week. It’s good to see him and talk with him. He told me a few things to look into. One was a Neuro Psychologist. I am having my primary refer me to one in their network. Sounds like they will do a series of tests to determine where I am mentally (and possibly physically too?) I look forward to getting my results. It’s good that I waited over a year to do this too. It’s given me time to get back to work even though it’s just part time. And if the results are not good, that will only help my case for SS.
I talked with my primary dr about work and everything. At this point she suggested that I stay on part time until the end of this year then we will re-evaluate around the holidays.
I also finally got into physical therapy this week with my rotator cuff. The therapist actually thinks that it popped and it may not have torn. So he’s going to work on it more for a couple weeks then if I need to he’ll refer me to a surgeon. But we’re hoping it’s just a froze shoulder and not a tear.
As always thanks for the help and input
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Sounds like you’ve been very busy Rick! You can look at your State’s backlog on SS to get an idea of how long it might take. NC was 21 months behind on their hearings when I first hired my attorney.
Neuro Psychologists deal with our brain functioning, they don’t do physical exams because they are not medical doctors. Psychology is in the Arts and not Sciences which befuddles me, always has. Here is a description of what they do Neuropsychological Evaluation FAQ | Department of Neurology. They use different tests to help determine our brain function, like the Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale (WAIS), the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (MMPI) and about five others of which I’ve forgotten the names… Some are short, some are not. Some are looking at recall, some recognition, my favorite because it made us laugh was saying colors or words of colors. There is no failing of any of the tests, they just want to see where you’re at cognitively and emotionally. For me, it was exhausting, took me awhile. The MMPI I was given is referred to as the “short” one and it took me 2-3 days. The first time I took it back in college, it was just a couple of hours at the most, our class did it during one of the labs which were three hours long.
Remember to do your PT exercises at home, they really help!
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Thanks for all the info
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So tonight I had physical therapy for my shoulder and then went to see my mental dr… I told him how my primary dr last week suggested that I stay working part time through the fall then we’ll see for next year from there which I didn’t tell work yet.
Then we talked about SS. And he told me I shouldn’t depend on SS because it’s going to take a long time and they will probably deny me again. He asked me where I was at with the rebuttal and if the lawyer took my case which the lawyer is working on it as far as I know. I signed the papers.
He then asked me if I was only seeing him because I would think that he would help my SS case. Which is not true. My primary dr referred me to him because of my depression from everything that happened. My lawyers office said they use him for cases.
I told my parents what he said, they were mad. Mom was mad also because I told her last week that I wanted to go back on the road, which I know I can’t. I can’t multitask and I get tired. I don’t know if it’s melatonin along with the meds that I’m on. But I told the dr tonight if I don’t get to good sleep my headaches are worse, which is true.
So now I confirmed my next appointment with him in 2 weeks. But I’m now thinking about dropping him and looking for another mental dr. It’s going to be hard to find, but I don’t know if this guy is helping. He told me last time that I shouldn’t attempt to date because I can’t handle a relationship right now, which may be true, but it’s disappointing and not helping my depression.
Sounds to me as if he was only asking for clarification of why you’re seeing him Rick. I imagine he gets a lot of clients that try to use him to get SS and not really work at getting skills for their issues. When I was able to work, I often times collaborated with a Psychologist on shared clients. The first time I ever spoke with him, he called me as I had a safety plan in place that the father would seek out counseling. The father chose him and the Psychologist called me. Of course I could no more share with the Psychologist than he could with me due to confidentiality issues, I had to have a signed release.
. He did get the release from his client and we developed a good phone relationship over the years. He is/was really good with male clients and I usually recommended him to the fathers or boyfriends who had some serious issues going on that were unresolved. Years later, he was the one I was referred to by my Neurologist so we finally got to meet!
I can say this about switching your mental health provider - it doesn’t matter if they have a PhD or a Masters in Social Work or Psychology, or an MD in Psychiatry, they need to be like a good pair of supportive shoes, not a pretty pair of shoes. They need to be teaching you skills to handle whatever issues you share with them. They need to know when they are being manipulated by their clients and how to stop it. A client definitely does not need a therapist that they can control nor one who always agrees with them as there is no healing with that type of relationship. I’ve seen that time and time again. A good therapist will sometimes have to be blunt and that can be hard to take. They need to be honest and challenging to the level their client can handle and push just an inch more, so growth can happen.
This sounds as if you’ve been developing a good relationship with him. Is the only reason you’re upset is because he asked you if you were there to get SS? Or is it because of the dating issue?
When I look back to the beginning of this topic, you said you were dependent on your parents to do the laundry, cooking etc. Do you think he might want you to gain a bit more independence before trying to get back into the dating game?
If you don’t know what he is teaching you, ask him. If he says something you don’t like, talk to him as let him know. If you get mad at something in therapy, let him know it has made you mad. He can handle all of this, it’s his job. His suggestions on what to try is like homework in my mind, try it. You did well with getting an appointment with a Neuro Psychologist keep up this type of good work! Above all else you need to be honest in your sessions and from what you’ve shared you are trying. He never took a Mind Reading 101 class, no university offers one in the USA. If you don’t share your feelings honestly, he won’t know.
As for SS, he didn’t lie which I really appreciate. It is extremely difficult for us who have ruptured to get on disability. I was denied twice, I think it was, before I even hired my attorney. The therapist they sent me to also told me I would be denied again and was very upset about it as substance abusers were getting it all the time, quickly. My disability attorney said that due to my level of education and age, he would have to take it to the disability appeals court. When we are below a certain age and have a higher degree, SS thinks you can do another type of job that doesn’t require a degree, like factory work. He had already planned that I would not wear my sunglasses in court so the Judge could see how all my issues were brought out, especially my aphasia and stutter. I think I was in with him a year when he told me it would be about 2 more years before my case was heard. That’s when I reached out to my Senator in DC. I was accepted for disability the next week. My attorney thought I was accepted because I could no longer do factory work due to my lumbar surgery the year before I ruptured.
Be patient with yourself, it can take years for us to heal. Be honest with your therapist, it will help. Miscommunication is a real issue in therapy as it is with everything else in life, ask for clarification. Remember baby steps are good!
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Hey Rick,
This is Merl from Modsupport.
Firstly, HUGE +1 for ALL of @Moltroub 's comments.
And before I start, I’m in Australia and although the systems are somewhat different, they are in many ways very similar. I too was denied, repeatedly. From most reports, it seems, in the first instance, every claim is denied. Only the ‘genuine’ patients appeal or continue with the processes. Then they send us to all of these differing Dr’s, all who had differing opinions and if one opinion differs from the claim, it’s rejected.
I also had an insurance policy, I made a claim via a lawyer. The insurer sent a professor of neurology from interstate. The professor’s report supported my claim and the insurer paid me out. I obtained a copy of the professor’s report and used that to re-apply for SS and it was accepted and approved. Prior there was considered to be ‘a possibility’ of improvement. Any ‘possibility’ cancelled my claim. It took that one Dr, the professor, saying ‘there was NO possibility’ (in his direct words to me (and I quote) “You’re screwed, this ain;t gonna get any better…”) for them to accept my claim, but it took years for them to finally accept it all.
In some cases patients get so fed up with the processes they simply give up. That’s what the government want, they dont want to be paying out on SS. They want you to simply say ‘Ohh it’s all too hard…’ and go back to work, which is OK for those who can work. But for the genuine claims… …it can be a long, painful process.
Merl from the Modsupport Team
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Thanks guys…
When I went to work this morning I was feeling like I didn’t want to be there. But I had already drove there so I decided to stay…
Linda (my supervisor) called me in this morning and she asked where I stood with work… I told her that I have been talking to some of the drs and that the drs have different opinions but that my primary dr thinks I should stay on the current schedule for the upcoming semester (in the fall). I told her about the neuro psych exam that I’m trying to get scheduled. And told her that I’ll be seeing the surgeon for the MRA over the summer and after I get all the results I’ll discuss with the neurologist and other drs and determine what I can do going forward. I told her I may just stay part time in the fall. Then maybe do more next year but don’t know now. I told her I get tired and it’s frustrating and overwhelming not knowing what I can do or what I can’t.
She said that everyone in the department knows where they stand but they weren’t sure where I was sitting in. There will be a layoff and won’t have work in the summer. After that I can stay on doing what I’m doing in the fall. I can do more hours if I’m able or I can stay at what it is current. She said that I am helping out.
That was one thing the dr asked last night. Meaning am I doing a job that they need done or are they doing me a favor. I told him I am doing work that they need done and I am Happy to be there doing it and they are happy to have me. I just didn’t know about the fall last night but now I do.
So I thanked Linda and told her I would be talking with Laurie in HR and that I should have more of an insight after the summer.
Last week the VP came in to tell me Happy birthday. He said he was happy to have me back at the office.
My mother talked with me when I got home. I was real tired. My dad told me we had to change the blinker light in my truck (as I’ve known one is out) and I told him I didn’t care, although really I was too tired on top of not caring.
Mom said she was mad about what the dr said. She said he’s supposed to be helping me. I told her I think he was just being honest.
I have 2 weeks till my next appointment with him. I have time to think about things. She wants me to look for another dr, but after reading what you guys said and thinking about it, I’m not sure. I do know I have some thinking to do. Thanks again for the input
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One thing that the dr said last night was look at where you are now compared to where you were a year ago. Now you’re at work, last year you weren’t. Your recovery just takes a long time
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I went for a walk tonight. When I got home from work I laid down for a while then got up and ate and laid back down. Typical work night if I don’t have anything going on. Then it was nice out so I got up and went for a long walk, longer than I have in a while. Trying to clear my head but I ended up crying to myself
Most of the time. I know we all have those days and I know I’ll have more. I thought about texting my therapist but I didn’t.
On a differnt note, I never remember hearing the word brain aneurysm on tv before this happened. Now it seems like I hear it brought up in tv shows all the time. Then I heard it brought up on a commercial tonight, for the Lisa Foundation. Never heard of it so I’m gonna look it up. Then i heard it brought up on two and a half men.
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Happy Belated Birthday Rick!
We do have some bad days. I’ve been currently experiencing about three weeks of what I call “bad brain days”. They’re bad enough my Neurologist has ordered an MRI/A and is sending me to Speech Therapy. It’s disappointing and extremely frustrating but I know I need them as something isn’t right. I have to wait until June which has frustrated a couple of friends.
I’m having problems understanding what people say, can’t remember squat, stuttering and aphasia is pretty bad. As long as I don’t give up, I’m good is my approach to the mess I’m in.
I did cuss out a school bus driver yesterday who didn’t bother to do even a California stop at a stop sign. I almost t-boned her! Apparently I can cuss with ease. She didn’t hear me of course and I still apologized. I had about two or three miles to go before I got home and had plans to call the County School Board and then forgot all about it until just now. BH said I needed to call them this morning. Fingers crossed I remember to call.
I would suggest you try two things when you’re at work, make sure you stay hydrated and eat protein. Try some protein drinks or bars that are around 30 gms it will help.
I’m really proud of you for going out for a walk! Good job Rick! Do the same today and everyday. Exercise really helps our brain to heal.
I do have a question if you don’t mind. What exactly is your mother upset about? If you’ve already shared, I apologize but I don’t remember.
I almost forgot to tell you that I met Todd on Lobby Day back in 2015, shortly after his wife, Lisa passed away. I’m glad he started his on foundation and I’ve been watching it grow ever since. https://lisafoundation.org/our-story/ He and Todd Helton (14 year old daughter, Ellie had passed away) https://livelikeellie.wixsite.com/ourstory both sat with us at the end of the day. I have always been impressed with both men and what they’ve been able to accomplish for brain aneurysm awareness. The more the word gets out, the more awareness there is and the more the media will jump on it.
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Hey Rick,
Don’t be kicking yourself for shedding a tear. Holding it back can be much more self destructive.
I was brought up ‘Big boys don’t cry’, but by bottling it up, when it comes to the surface it can sometimes be explosive. I also found by bottling it up I would stew and stew and stew on it all, building the pressure up even more. If someone asked the wrong question/pushed the wrong button BOOM and I’d explode. Nasty.
You’ve got to let it out, it is much safer to relieve that pressure with a tear, than explosion, I can assure you. I’ve had a couple of those ‘explosions’… …ohhh, not nice… very messy.
Merl from the Modsupport Team
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@R1ck
I have read your posts and I understand that you are suffering. Remember that you survived the rupture and that it will take you a long time to come back physically and mentally. Crying is normal and I personally think it is good to let it out. You have gone through a near death experience and that is something that feels deep inside.
You made a good choice when you went out for a walk. Try to do the same several times a week. Walking makes wonders, I always feel rejuvenated after a brisk walk. If I am worried about something, it usually feels better and my mind is clearer when I get home. I walk a brisk three miles long walk 4-5 days a week. If the weather is bad, too cold or too hot I use our indoor bike for 30-45 minutes. I also have a couple of dumbbells that I use for my arms. It feels great afterwards and if I need to take a nap I still have accomplished something.
We bought the indoor bike after my rupture, it is the best investment ever , I have become afraid of biking outdoors, worried that I might fall and hit my head.
I’m sure you know that research has shown that exercise is an effective but often underused treatment for mild to moderate depression. If you google you will find many articles about this. We don’t have to be a marathon runners, walking works as well as anything else. Research also shows that it helps the brain making new neurons.
Keep on talking to us, we listen and we understand what you have been through.
Measure your progress not by days, but month by month.
All the best to you.
Take care. 
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