Hi,
This is Kim and I am typing for my husband, Dan…He had his rupture a touch over 2 years ago and his sleep cycles have become so messed up and doctors, Neurologist, GP,Psychiatry,etc just aren’t sure what to do so they prescribe antidepressants that have sleep side effects. However, none are working and he is growing more and more frustrated. He stays downstairs all night, with his mind racing and staring into the darkness. He does eat, drink,watch TV and listen to his radio. His thoughts are all problems…money, health, etc…When I come downstairs in the morning he has often passed out after feeding the dogs, out of exhaustion…he is dizzy, foggy and has headaches. When I get up, he goes to the back bedroom to go yo sleep. Not peaceful sleep. It is full of flashbacks and bad dreams, not restful…He cannot always get up with a set alarm beause stuck in the frantic dreams that his brain won’t let go of. This cycle is why he can’t have a regular daily routine. He falls asleep-ish when he gets up or spends hours trying unsuccessfully to declutter his mind. Nothing works and I encouraged him to share here hoping for guidance and/or suggestions. Anything would be helpful. Thank you.
I feel so bad for him - it’s miserable and frustrating. I’ve had four aneurysms coiled starting twelve years ago and the latest one was last year. Each time I’ve had a surgery I feel worse. So I’m not doing anymore. Each time the insomnia got worse as well. I can not feel tired. UGH 
I recently tried zzzquil tablets. I’ve had some success. Maybe try if you haven’t. Good luck
What’s a coil?
Hey Dixie! There are two types of repairing aneurysms, one is endovascular which we refer to as coils or coiling because no matter what else the surgeon uses, they ways use wire which are coils in medical terms. They send everything through a catheter(tube) that’s inserted into either the radial (wrist) or femoral (groin area on leg). The other method is a craniotomy where the surgeon removes part of the skull to get to the artery in the brain where the aneurysm is.
My sleep was a mess for the first 2 years. BH wasn’t happy and told Dr.Q-W on one of our many visits to her. I still had what I called “black brain” which meant I wasn’t aware of any thoughts processing in my brain. She told me I had to work on it and limit my long naps which were hours long. I had to work very hard but I set an alarm on my phone and reduced them down to just a couple hours after I ate.
For thoughts racing uncontrollably, I really recommend Dan learns to do relaxation breathing. It really helps to clear a mind because you have to focus on your breathing. He would have to work very hard to do it all the time. Most men don’t like to journal in my experience working with them. They do what I call “piddling around”. So anything that requires him fixing something or using his hands might help. I would also encourage Dan to see a CBT (Cognitive Behavior Specialist) that specializes in brain injuries. A good one can help him learn to declutter his mind and prioritize those things racing in his brain. Hopefully Dan is open to therapy, some people are not because they view seeing a therapist as them being crazy. This is rarely the case, they just need a bit of outside guidance. For example, they might help him with setting up a budget to address his money worries. If he is on Medicare, he may be able to do it over the computer or phone. They offer a limited amount of visits, I think mine was twice a week with two different therapists for 8 weeks.
One of my goals was learning to draw again, the therapist started out with me coloring in children’s coloring books. It helped a little. Coloring for me is relaxing. Another helped me get over my issues with wanting to do woodworking projects and wood carving. It lead to me taking my first pyrography class! I also was able to draw out plans for heavy duty pantry drawers and build them. It took a long time (maybe three weeks) but BH loved them when they were installed in a broom closet that was in the kitchen. I may have over done the slides, I think they’re rated for 150 lbs😂. But she helped me get over my issues with relearning how to use some of my woodworking tools. So any hobbies he may have might help to refocus his mind. I’ve known quite a few Vets (males) that took up knitting and they always tell me how much it helps with their PTSD.
Tell Dan I said he can do it!
Greetings, Kim. We’re glad you decided to stop by. I’d like to echo what Moltroub suggested regarding relaxation breathing. By the sound of your description of his symptoms, it appears that the runaway thoughts in his mind are often the primaery source of his mental agitation and anguish.
Mindful breathing is a very effective tool to calm the controling effects of runaway and unbridled thoughts. And when you are doing it properly, it is effortless too. Thoughts will certainly appear like clouds across a blue sky, and that’s ok. We just return our attention to our breathing, without judgement or criticism. Here’s a helpful aid if it’s useful: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaJDfWCn4fI
Mindful breathing also has one thing going in Dan’s favor, Kim. He hasn’t given it a serious try yet to know if has the potential to be helpful or not. Here’s hoping for the best and he is blessed to have your love and concern.
I’m scared. I have read you can have aneurysms come back again and again. My first one I didn’t know I had it until it was to late.
Hi, Dixie. It is natural to be scared of uncertainty when it comes to our continued good health, and feeling that emotion is a sign that you continue to be blessed with being alive. All our emotions are signs and evidence of the miracle of being alive; yes, even being afraid.
From my own personal experience, I used to not want certain feelings to remain with me, so I resisted feeling them. It took me a while to discover that my act of resisting or pushing away certain feelings, like being afraid, only kept them around longer. LOL Who would’ve thought of that paradoxical dynamic? 
So I tried a different tactic; the tactic of blessing or experiencing gratitude for whatever feeling surfaced at the time. Yep, even the difficult ones to bear like fear.
Long story short, Dixie, my feelings now appear when they do; that hasn’t changed. What has changed is my response to them, which aids in their inevitable disappearance after their appearance. It’s amazing what happens to our life experiences, both the desirable and undesirable ones, when we decide to bless them in every shape and form. Thank you for sharing.
Sorry, this is LONG. I had horrible insomnia with racing thoughts, etc. It was awful. I tried many relaxation techniques but it took a long time for any to help. Practice helps so tell him to keep trying. But I think in the beginning more healing needs to take place, but you can’t heal without rest. I went from constant sleep initially, to waking up after only a couple of hours of sleep with my mind in high gear. It lasted a really long time. In the last stages, I had nonstop music in my head. Think of when you got a song stuck, except it wakes you up and cycles for hour after hour of torture.
As for what helped, it was trial and error. I tried sleeping pills and anti anxiety meds. Both through off my balance the next day terribly and neither was very effective. Benadryl/Zzquil is effective but does not provide restful sleep and can impair cognition. I had cognitive issues so it scared me, but it was all that worked. I first did 3 weeks of benadryl to see if i could reset myself, but as soon as i stopped it came right back. Melatonin at a low dose of 1 or 2mgs helped one night, but would not work for a second night. In the end, because I was trying to work part time, i would do 2 nights of benadryl, one on melatonin, then 2 of benadryl again (use lowest dose via trial and error). I’d keep a couple of halves on my nightstand in case I needed it to get back to sleep. Then I’d go the last 2 nights (fri/sat nights) with nothing. It gave me a break from the drugged feeling and I could gauge how I was doing.
During this time, i kept working on 4 7 8 breathing. Also the less you move around the better. But that breathing technique helps get your heart rate back under 60 bpm so you have a shot at rest. Google it, its very helpful.
I also used youtube sleep stories (turn off the auto continue feature or youll fall asleep then get blasted awake with an ad). Some will continue with sleep sounds after the story and can go one, two, or even 10 hours. Some (the honest guys) have a contant sleep story stream. These worked best for me in the early days. I charged up my phone and ran them all night long so i could dose back off throughout the night when i woke up. I still use these when sleeplessnes hits but no longer need all nighters. 30 minute stories now work and I’m out cold. Finally, don’t look at the clock AT ALL. Wishing it away doesnt fix this and eying the clock only makes it worse.
One more thing…although nothing really replaces sleep, for every hour you spend prone and at rest, keeping as calm and relaxed as possible, you get about 20 minutes worth of restoration. If you keep getting up and moving around, you get no restoration.
I think the repetition of the breathing and the sleep stories ultimately helped recondition me to sleep.
I wish him the best of luck, insomnia is an awful thing. If I remember anything else helpful I’ll pass it along…
Great hints! Do you mind sharing with the group which YouTube videos help? That way we can take from your experience and not have to reinvent the wheel.
I also like to drink a cup of chamomile tea before going to bed and we cut off all caffeine after 2 pm.
Speaking to a councilor helped me. I also found that my faith and outlets like exercise and hobbies have been a godsend.
Sure. I used the Calm app for a while but discovered there are many free alternatives on YouTube that are equally good. My favorites for all night (when it’s really bad or I’m in the hospital overnight trying to ignore all the beeping) are:
Those above have a steady stream of stories. If you want white noise that’s a step up from static, search for all night train sleep sounds or sleep thunderstorms.
My absolute favorites are by the Honest Guys (they have a channel), and my preference for sleep is the Haven or Dreamweaver series. The Haven is a village environment where you are supposedly completely safe (my translation is my brain won’t blow up while I’m there :). The Dreamweaver series are on a train and are really nice as well.
Nice short ones (30 minutes) include:
They have many healing and anxiety meditations too. My favorites of those are:
The Mindful Movement has some nice healing and calming meditations as well, but they are less applicable to sleeping.
I am glad that Judi mentioned the free resources that are available from YouTube. YouTube has SO much to offer in the arena of better quality of life. An area that doesn’t get much mention is the dialogue that we have with ourselves, otherwise known as self-talk. The beliefs that we embrace about ourselves, consciously and subconsciously, have an effect our our bodies. Here is just one example of a YouTube video that exposes our minds to healing affirmations while we sleep. There are many others similar to this one. As always, nothing ventured is nothing gained. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRAEF_ZJBbw
Hi,
I haven’t been on here in a while. Mostly, because typing w one finger on L hand & whole right hand. But, I have used some supplements to help w the more restful sleep. Ashwagandha (sp?), L theanine (even in Tart Cherry juice), Lion’s mane mushroom. NOT a doctor but has helped along w 8-10 hrs of cat purring. Yeah, I thought it was weird too but it calmed me a bit. Take care ~g
Good to hear from you Glenda! There’s a lot of research out there for why our pets can help us calm down and focus. Here’s one article about research being done https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2018/02/power-pets. This cohort has also found that interaction with animals decreases our cortisol levels which is a stress related hormone and they help to decrease blood pressure. As a kid we had fish tanks, dogs, cats, turtles, horses, etc. I’ve always had trouble going to sleep but when our dog came in my room, it helped a lot as did the rather large homemade fish tank that was passed down to me. The purring of a cat can be as hypnotic as the deep breathing of a dog in my opinion.
Thank you for reminding us, Glenda, that sound can have a very therapeutic effect on us. YouTube has a vast library of sound effects to take advantage of with a set of nice speakers.
Some of the soundest sleeps I had as a youngster were nights when it rained and/or stormed at a campsite. I enjoy treating myself to that relaxing and nostalgic sound every once in a while. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_O_y7Qwq6Zc
Sounds are indeed therapeutic. The reader is encouraged to treat him/herself to a sound sleep via a sound that is comforting to them.