Scared

11/07/11 My personal day of infamy. subarachnoid hemorage. I am one of the lucky ones!

I know that and yet I can't stop myself from being sad and afraid. I am getting stronger everyday and less pain. yet things are different. I would like to not worry everytime I get a headache, or a pain in my neck. How do I learn to forget?

I know your feelings. My day was a month before yours. I question similar pains and stiffness, and get irritated when someone close to me blows off my concern when I mention it. I don't want to forget it, it has been such a huge event in my life. It's hard sometime to know how to 'put' it in one's life - at least for now.

Mine ruptured May 5, 2011 .I forget alot of things these days but the rupture isn't one of them. everytime I put a sock on my numb right foot I am reminded. I also have scars from the awful bruises. I'm sorry to tell you this but I still get headaches maybe its just because my annie isn't fully packed I don't know . sometimes I actually forget where i am . I get overwhelmed quite easily . I'm still earlyin my healing process and you are very early . The best thing you did was find Us :) I can not begin to tell you how much the people on herehave helped me have had me crying both happy and sad tears . laughing untili almiost peed my pants .Gaynor is the most recent one that made me choke on my coffee after reading one of herf unny stories. lol . Emotional issues unfortunetly are a part of this healing process ,People can tell me until they are blue That I am luckyto be alive .I get it ButThat just doesn't change these feelings i am having . YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS ! especially now that you found The BAF . so much love and support on here . Gotta go . Havea great day!

Oh Pat...You are early in the healing journey....it takes time to feel right again and let alone accept your new normal...it does happen...but takes time...Gotcha in my Prayers....for continued cyber~healing Colleen

LOL ! I just have to add that I was trying to type really fast ,obviously I am not good at that . :)

thanks

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I need all the prayers and wishes that i can garner. Are there things that you just can't do? Can I expect to do what I did before? I don't seem to have impairments.

mine was almost 2 yrs ago and i don't think u r supposed to forget i haven't yet

Hi Pat, my day was quite 3 years ago, 16 february, 2009 .
Early in the morning in the gym I had my rupture, first coiled and later I receive the PED stent.
I was very very lucky,I fully recovery myself , I came back to previous day life ( including Gym ).
I never stop to be worried and I never stop to keep under control my brain every minute by myself.
I have had several follow up ( last one in september, 2011) , but every morning when I wake up I do my " personal on line check up " focused in my brain to check / discovered if everything seems ok.
This is the story : after my day I use to be worried everyday , live but worried.
Take care of you.
Giovanni

Hi Pat D,

I just posted my story of my 42 years of survival of an aneurysm rupture. I can say that you won't learn to forget but you will become less afraid. If your experiences are like mine, you will become able to tell the difference between what a normal headache feels like, a pain in the neck from sleeping wrong and the pain associated with your aneursym. But, by all means, if you feel something that is of concern to you, follow your own instincts and don't hestiate to have it checked.

And, please continue to take advantage of this wonderful forum. I only found it in the last few weeks.

42 years WoW and YEA! I really don't know how to have anything checked, my surgeon is an hour away and I'm allergic to IV contrast.... just worrying too much

what is your " personal on line check up ?

and good for you! and thanks

a couple of not the best days in a row and I'm a bit afraid. headache, neck bothering me, left eye feels puffy, but nothing real bad, more scared than anything else. Don't want to panic but don't know what I can ignore and what I can't........ see the internist Tuesday, no appts with neurosurgeon until Feb.

Pat,

First and foremost welcome to BAF! A support group none of us really want to be a part of, but we are all glad we have found each other!

First, know that you are not alone in your journey and all of us survivors have gone through everything you are feeling now. You will notice that most people when speaking of their annies, will refer to the size and location and what type of surgery they have had done. I was a 9mm right side internal carotid artery @the ophthalmic artery annie that was stented with the pipeline embolization device. I am 7 months post op and feeling pretty good.

What I can tell you about my journey is that in the beginning I was terrified! Every little trickle down the back of my head sent me into a tailspin of depression and nervousness and anxiety that I could not get out of. What helped me? My older sister, who is also a member of this forum, had a coiling for a 5mm annie on the anterior communicating artery AND my BAF family. Between the two, I realized that it's ok to be frightened, it's normal actually, and it's ok to wonder and worry and get scared. Also, it's ok to laugh, cry, vent, scream, thank the Lord, and many other things. What I have found is that through it all, my BAF family has been there to hold my hand through it all. I am also coming off of a marathon 3 day headache. But as our Colleen wold say, I'm getting used to the "new" after annie me!

It is hard to "learn" how to let go, but eventually it will fade so that the worry will not be as prominent in your mind. I'm 7 months post of from my annie, and I have another 3mm annie that is a watch and wait annie, so live with that little ticking time bomb is in my head. Now it may grow, or it may never grow. The lucky part is that I know it's there and it is being watched, very carefully by my surgeon for any growth.

Please know you are not alone and feel free to vent away. That is what this support group is all about!!!!

Please keep us updated on your progress and know that we are always,only a post away!
Best wishes,

Linda

Linda - thanks for these wonderful words of encouragement.

You are very welcome Carole and welcome to BAF to you as well!

Linda :)

you will never forget it will always be with you, but you will learn to live with it. Things will calm down and just tell yourself calm down now and count to ten,stop running away from what happened you cnt change it and i cant either.