well, it finally happened. I just had this PTSD meltdown. I would say with good reason. Normally things like this don’t bother me too much because I’ve just worked for too long with these types of kids and this population but today it was too much. We had a kid that was in the high school with a gun. Like I said, normally stuff like that doesn’t phase me too much but today it did. It’s like every emotion that I’ve had since I had surgery suddenly came up and whacked me upside the head along with just tear and fear. I’ve just been crying and shaking and I’m going to go see my counselor in a little while. I’ll go back to school tomorrow, but there’s just a little piece of me that suddenly feels changed.
Kids, guns and schools don’t mix not now and not back when I was in High School. That was way back when pocket knives were a common practice and no one thought anything of it. Heck one could purchase a “switch blade” from the back of a comic book for around 25-50 cents when I was in Junior High 
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The penalty in NC for carrying a gun on to school property is a Class I Felony, so instead of some states where the student just gets expelled for a certain length of time, ours can receive a prison sentence for up to two years. Any person who helped a minor to get a gun and that weapon is taken on to school property is also under the Class I Felony law.
Hopefully your therapist was able to help you through all the ugly emotions. How many years do you have in? Most every teacher I know retires at their 30th year.
Kassi, with the history of school shootings in this country its no wonder a gun incident would cause a reaction like this. Even if you felt capable of handling such a thing in the past, you just had life saving (and also life threatening) surgery. That alone was monumental. Add a new threat, and a meltdown sounds like an appropriate response. Glad you are going to speak to someone and I’m so sorry for all you have endured. You’re a remarkable person. Please don’t be too hard on yourself. I think your response is perfectly normal.
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i had a personal reason it hit so hard but it was magnified by this, I find that since then I am beginning to dive into depression. I been able to work with my kids, but I find that there is a
paranoia that is setting in about if I can trust people.
I keep thinking I am still walking and talking, and teach but Infeel those chemicals bouncing around in my head,
I’m tired. Another one of our high schools went on lockdown yesterday too.
no, I will not be teaching for 30 years because I would be far too old. I didn’t get my teaching degree until 2003 at that point I was already 33. I went out and I talked for a couple years and then stopped and did other various things. In 2015 I popped back in the education again and the first day of school I looked around and I said what in the actual hell is this? I have about 15 more years before I can hang it up. Now, whether I can make it, 15 years is another story. Because this sort of thing is a beating down my mental health.
But I care so muck about my kids, perhaps it wound be easier if did not But that will never happen
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I beleive life experiences brings a lot to students, parents and clients alike. I’m sure you bring a lot to your students and I bet it’s a bit easier for you to relate to their family dynamics than some of your colleagues.