School is about to start. It starts on Monday. I find that the closer it gets the more neurotic I become. I’m not sleeping very well and I find that I’m starting to get stressed out about small things because I know it’s coming. I think people are probably getting frustrated with me trying to ask questions to figure out what’s going on just because things are changing a little bit, but I have a hard time with change, especially now.
It’s difficult, because unless you’ve had a procedure like this, one cannot truly understand. It’s not their fault, but showing grace or empathy should be a basic human trait. However, as we know not everyone possesses these qualities.
I need to stop talking about my operation because no one in the “ outside world” really gives a crap. I’ve tried to explain for the most part I am good, Inam very lucky, but ai still have side effects that are now starting to become more prevalent, Nothing I cannot handle, but still tough on me ,
I find myself prattling on about things, that other people have no interest in and then become over sensitive when I do not get the response I am looking at getting.
I fear that my frustration and neurosis will take over when I start teaching, and things will be difficult. Already there are monkey wrenches that are being thrown in, as they always are in the educational system, and I find myself future tripping about them.
Yes, if I just maintain the idea that nobody really gives a shit then I guess I will be better off. I just won’t talk to anybody about anything that is bothering me or affecting me because as I stated, I don’t think anybody really cares. Sad but true.
I just need to keep my irrational fears to myself. And trust me, there are many…
Am I losing my mind? Am I Valon ship at sea?
Kassi, In my experience people tend to get tired of hearing about our aneurysms and what it takes to recover from the procedures, but we want and need to talk about it. The need to discuss it will start to fade over time as you continue to heal. Right now, it’s just in the forefront of your thoughts. Fortunately you have us and we all understand.
If you can find a CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) or an ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) therapist, they may be able to help you overcome the negativity you’re feeling. Another idea would be to get in touch with your creative side, draw, paint, etc. I recall when Zentangle was really popular, you might find it helpful as it directs your thoughts to what you’re doing in the moment, even coloring in a coloring book can help. Something else that can help is journaling and looking for positives instead of negatives which can be difficult but it’s really helpful when it’s learned. You’ve got that started so it may be easier for you.
I used to be a very spontaneous person. When I ruptured, I’m more like someone with ADHD and need to have my day set with no surprises. Change can throw me for a loop but change is inevitable. I do better if someone explains the need for change now as sometimes I can’t see the purpose. To help me remember, I usually write it down using the Notes app in my phone. I try to cover the 5 W’s and the H.
Remember, we are always here and we all get it.
I just got a clean bill of health.from the surgeon so he shook my hand and wished me well.
I read that in your other post and I think it’s awesome. I may be a bit envious as I’ve never received that news lol. My last MRA showed a white spot that the radiologist recommended another angiogram which I can’t have. She’s just going to take an earlier look - 3 years instead of 5 years. I can live with that!
This site is very helpful because other people don’t really understand what they don’t see or haven’t experienced. The ones who are concerned enough to listen just can’t grasp the side effects of what we deal with.
My best ally is God and this group. I pray and trust him to lead me through the difficult times. Plus I visit this site often to remind me that what I experience is real. Hang in there and stay focused on the fact that we are the one percenters who can share our experiences with others. You got this! May God bless you.
I’m right there with you. I literally have friends who don’t talk to me anymore bc of how I feel. But this week I’ve done a lot of yard work and housework-things I’m a year+ on doing and I’m feeling good. It will come with time. Anytime you need to talk message me! I’d be glad to be an ear a shoulder whatever you need
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I am very dark and sarcastic sense of humor. Most people who know me know that. I’m always amazed how sometimes people take what I say as gospel. I mean when I’m being silly. I think one of the things I struggle with is kind of blurting out information that I don’t need to. And I think it sounds absolutely OK and other people look at me like I’m nuts. Like what are you talking about? So I’m setting my way through that. But physically, I’m doing pretty well and I think that I am going to be good going back to school. It would be nice to be in a rhythm. I just have to remind myself to breathe and understand that a lot of people don’t understand when I’ve gone through so it is not my job to over explain.
Today’s the big day for you! Woo Hoo! We had a friend who had dark and sarcastic humor, we thought it hilarious. When I first met her I had just started a new job as a High Risk Intervention worker. I worked with children who had really bad behaviors, really bad. One had kicked his Spec ED teacher and broker her ankle, I met him in court. She was my supervisor and when the director introduced us, she said something that most would have taken as very rude. I looked at her and said “don’t you wish”. That was the beginning of a really great friendship. We both eventually went to DSS CPS unit and when I’d be out of the office, I had to put on the “out of office” alert on my emails. If I was going to be on vacation, I’d add to it for people to put a sticky note on my desk if it was really important due to the obscene number of emails one receives when gone for a week. She always put a sticky note of a doodle on my computer screen that usually was pretty gross. She knew I’d read hers first🤣