Pls provide your experience for aneursym recovery

Hi, my mom recently had a craniotomy to remove an aneursym (with a tumor attached). She is 68 years old, and simply, was supposed to have the clipping surgery and discharged.

We did not know there was a tumor attached until after the surgery. For 5 days post-up she was doing beautifully, speaking, counting to 90, and recognizing people. Then.... on day 6, she suffered a minor stroke.

We are now 1 month into her post surgery ,and while physically she is doing well (can walk with assistance, goes to the bathroom (with help getting there), and is able to eat on her own, the mental is where her problem lies. Some days she says her name, other days, she says she doesn't know. Same with people, some days she will recognize them, other days she does not. I get soo happy on the good days, but sooo very down on the bad.

I am her daughter and her husband is totally absent about her caregiving, speaking with Dr,'s etc., and before you ask, (NO... he will NOT put me or my brother's on the contact list), so we can speak on her behalf. (YES.. .he is THAT MUCH of a jerk)!!

Anyway... just wondering how other people who have had a similar experience have dealt/coped and can help me to know what to expect. I have developed into a very severe depression from all of this and I am quickly loosing hope that she will ever return to me. Can someone please share their experience with me (the good and the bad). My mom is in a nursing rehab center with about 2 more months to go before she is released home. I just get sooo discouraged when she counts some days and others, she says she doesn't know her name, etc. Any guidance, support, helpful advise as to your or the experience of someone you love would be most appreciated. Sincerely, Jeanine

well i had a clipping for a ruptured aneurysm and i slept for the first few MONTHS , i could not believe how much i slept i would get up look around and say i got to go back to bed! But after that i began doing things SLOWLY because im a fast person that was hard ! I am now almost two years post op and i came a long way, but i still have balance issues and vertigo . Everyone is different in the recovery process but slow is the key word, the brain needs to heal.Some things may come back and some may not but dont be discouraged because youwill make her discouraged and then longer recovery. At first i couldnt hold a fork or spoon and i would drop things and my speech was funny but things do improve. I gave myself therapy by using a pen and writing my name, and writing on paper. I made myself read and look at things and the noise took time to get use to things were loud. She may not like talking on a phone i didnt because it sounded like chipmunks at first but that got better day at a time.

Hi Becky, thank you soo much for sharing your experience. I know it all takes time, and yesterday, I found a quote somewhere that said, "as long as the brain continues to live, it will continue to learn." Thus.... I am holding onto this hope. What makes everything worse is that my mom has little family, aside myself and 2 brothers (one lives in VA). I cannot even begin to tell you the drama w/my mom's husband, but he is also part of the problem b/c he does not do anything w/her (no flash cards, doesn't ask him to tell him his or her name, what day of hte week it is, etc). Thus, I think her recovery is going to take even longer. I know she is doing very well considering, but again, it is just soo difficult when one day she knows who she is and knows the days of the week and the next day, she says she cannot remember/doesn't know.

On the positive side, when asked if she wanted a drink she responded, "what do you have." So I know she is in there somewhere and things are connecting, it is just a matter of time to get things connected and to stay connected.

I soo appreciate everyone's positive thoughts. This was something we knew (the surgery), but not the aftermath (i.e., her minor stroke, her husband's lack of compassion/empathy), etc., etc. My brother's and I are already scrambling to find info about title 19 in case we have to put her into a nursing home, because we truly believe when she is released from rehab that her husband will divorce her. SOOOO very sad. Not a good relationship there (never was), but we are doing out best to cope with how best we can help my mom once she gets out of rehab and w/the unknown months will bring.

Rehab only works with her for about 30 mins per day, so the rest is on visitors, which is mainly me. Again, I appreciate everyone's kind words and shared experiences. It is means so much for me to have a place to go where people understand. Many people I talk to (i.e., co-workers and alike) just say, "what do you mean she doesn't know you are yet? It has been a month." SOO hard to hear stuff like that.