Story is way too long. June 21, 1999 that day is welded into me. Wife had been sick over the weekend. I was commuting 200 miles total to the jobbie, job. Left home that Monday morning, wife and 14 yr old at home. Get to work, phone rings, wife in emergency. Head back 100 miles to find she has a bleed on brain.
They airlifted her to UofM hospital, were able to coil bleed. She was in intensive care for close to a month. Two months rehab. First two weeks worse of my life-they wanted us to pull plug. SAHPCA she suffered. Vasospasms after. Well in spite of what Sanja Gupta (yes theCNN Gupta) led me to believe she pulled through. She has frequent Gran Mal seizures, weakness right side, no short term memory. High blood pressure,diabetes, etc.
Here we are 12 yrs later, she treats me as the enemy, it's all my fault. But I digress.
During the early stages of her illness I found the story of a Pennsylvania couple where the wife had a similar bleed and pulled out of it. I was inspired by that story. I had a journal that disappeared during our relocation in 2000. My intent was to contact that couple and tell them how I was inspired by their story.
well she did pull through, we all have affects of this. I'm sure after all this time you know about it, don't you? Keep looking to the good side of things and hope for better days, i know at times i can be hard on my husband and i have to remind him i didnt change i got changed.
im reading your story and seems to me your wife might want to find a new dr, someone who can help..my heart hurts knowing your wife is still being held hostage by these horrible medical deficits...believe me when i say that when someone has an anny, everyone around them is touched n not immune to their recovery process...unfortunately your wife has not been able to get to a level of wellness to where she feels lucky to still be alive..we get pissed! it is part of getting better...i hopeyou are able to find a dr that can help her so you n her both can finally get to a spot where its a good thing...i will def keep you both n my prayers for finding a good dr to help her get better n life will be good again..love n prayers coming ur way
Hang in there!! You are not the enemy your the only one in her life that maybe she feels she can release too..Try not to take it personally, you have hung in this long and I respect you for that...
Right....she certainly is not the woman I married. Indeed she got changed and it wasn't her fault. In a lot of ways she could respond differently. Is that too much to ask? Thanks for the comments - good luck to you.
Done the doctor routine before, not so easy. She has input into who she will see. We had a good team in the beginning, but she didn't like one of the neurologists so we changed. That is when the Gran Mal seizures started because she chose to stop taking anti-seizure meds as well during the change in doctors. It got to the point where she was having them every 4-6 months each time requiring EMS and a week’s stay in the hospital. That is why she is currently on five anti-seizure meds now. Longest interval between seizures was 16 months two years ago.
Another little story - glad I found someplace to vent a little. Took her to the mall one summer day a few years ago. Shopping having a great time. Nearing time to go and she wanted Ms. Fields cookies. Standing in front of the counter making decisions and I look over at her - she is going to have a seizure I say to myself as she was just standing with that look on her face. Here I am with that heavy purse of hers, hand full of bags and the wife about to have a Gran Mal in the mall!!!!
Just then a woman walks up out of nowhere and says, “Is she about to have a seizure?" I mean out of nowhere. She clears the bench next the cookie stand, helps me get her over to the bench and laying down just as the episode begins. What an angel.....I never got her name and really in the confusion, don't remember thanking her.
Easier said then done. Been that route, gotta have the right counselor, strong willed and must figure out a way to get her to remember. She just repeats the same things over and over at the sessions I was allowed to sit in on. No short term memory and stuck in the past.
Another part to this saga. During her rehab I was faced with relocating our family. So when she really started to wake up, everything was new. New town, new house, no friends. Nothing familiar to her. She has held that against me. For years she did not have any input into the little decorating of the house we bought. I made the choices even after encouraging her to provide input - that is held against me. It just goes on and on.
Really I guess I should be venting in a private journal somewhere.
I've noticed that people really don't like to be around people with medical issues. Sure they patronize you, but they really don't want to be involved.