Need some advice for dealing with a friend who has brain bleeding issues

We have a friend (AL) who is sister to a friend and our Vet (ADK) for almost 30 years. I had to text ADK for one of the dogs, it’s been my “rule” since I ruptured. She told me what to do and that she was in the ER and would catch me up later. I found out yesterday from someone I just met but have texted a few times that she went into the clinic and was told by the lady at the front desk AL has had some bleeding of the brain and they can’t figure out why. So it’s not a ruptured aneurysm, I don’t think. When I found out yesterday, it did throw me and I was a bit of a mess for a short time. I sent a text to both AL and ADK sharing my Neurosurgeon’s contact information as I don’t think we have any decent ones in our neck of the woods. We used to, but one has retired and one moved to another county. I also suggested AL send her images to Dr.Q-W for a second opinion.

There’s many things that can cause our brains to bleed and I almost understand why the Radiologist can’t figure it out. I don’t know if she’s had an MRI or a MRA, I imagine she’s had a CT first thing.

I didn’t hear back from either ADK or AL so I sent a text to ADK’s daughter and asked. I usually hear back pretty quickly from the daughter, but haven’t received a reply. I’m thinking the whole family is trying to keep me from any stress which is what they always do. They are all helpers and not ones to ask for any. I’m unsure what I should do now. Part of me wants to just drive over to AL’s home to see if I can help her, part of me says no, I need to respect her privacy. Another part wants me to drive over to ADK or the daughter and say what gives? I’m in a quandary obviously. On top of that, I’ve been really busy this week with doing things as our grader has started and will finish today the first stage of getting our new tractor shed built. I have a couple of guys coming over to help get the temporary shelter up so I can get my tractor over here and all it’s implements. Any suggestions? Should I just be more patient?

Thanks all in advance for your help!

Hey Moltroub,
Ohh, sorry to hear of your friend and the situation.
My honest opinion:- You’ve sent differing messages to different people. You’ve supplied them with relevant medical contacts. There really is very little else you can do until they return your call.

There can be a few differing causes for brain bleeds and their severity can fluctuate significantly, so drawing any straight line as to cause/effect is impossible without further details. I think that part of you that ‘wants to just drive over to AL’s home to see if I can help her’ is commendable, but I also think that ‘part of me says no, I need to respect her privacy.’ is the better, at least until you have a bit more information. The tensions within a family when this sort of thing occurs can be many and varied. For some, the shock of it can be overwhelming and they often need time to process it all. Give them time.

Well, that’d be my advice anyway.
Merl from the Modsupport Team

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Merl, your advice is always much appreciated, thank you so much, I know the family is a wreck right now. The daughter did text me back and said AL is not changing any of her plans for doing things which is good, they had automatically thought it was a rupture because of me (I’m the only one they know that’s had anything past a hematoma). We all have a friend, another Vet that is dying from a brain tumor, everything Duke tried didn’t work, but it’s a nasty rare type of cancer. We will find out more because we are going to their house next Saturday for a birthday party.