My wife had an aneurysm bleed twice last thursday and has another which has not as yet.Unfortunately she was at the hospice where here sister the only other surviving member of her parental family was dying of lung cancer when it happened.

Her sister passed away the day before yesterday.She is not aware of this yet because she is still suffering memory loss and the confusion that follows brain surgery

Don't know what to do

Its ok Horace ... to not let her know at this time...what have the Doctors suggested to you? Perhaps if you talk to the social worker at the hospital and ask he/she how to handle this situation...Bless your Heart...this is tough...Thoughts out to you and your wife at this time...~ Colleen

Hi Colleen,thanks for your reply.The doctors won't suggest anything only that it is our decision and it will be dangerous for her.We do know that we can't tell her yet because of mental state it would be pointless. We know that this likely to improve gradually so she will let us know in her own way that the time is right.There are very many other issues around our situation we have to deal with as they arise the main two being her small business which I may have to close and I have not worked for 4 years but just started working again at the beginning of january which is making it difficult to take time off and I may have to finnish depending on how she recovers which will leave us with no income and I have no idea how my three sons will cope although they are adults no one could know how much we love her


Hi Horace. I am sorry to hear of your wife and sister- in- law,my heart goes out to you. Take a minute, and think things through. Your wife is first priority right now. She doesn’t need to know about her sister right now. Her memory will get better and then you can tell her gently.Talk to her doctor and hear what he suggests.

My name is Kimlin .I am a survivor, I had an Aneurysmal Subarachnoid Hemorrhage orSAH- I spent 4 months in the hospital- from wheel chair- walker - cane, finally I am on my FEET. Next month will be 2 years since my SAH. I am still a work in progress,with God’s Grace One day at a time Horace ,God will see about the future. I am so glad you found BAF support group. The members have help me a lot! If you need help or need to " vent’. We are here! Blessings to your wife ,you, and your family.

Thanks Kimlin I am very happy for you in one respect but vert sad that your progress has taken so long it must be very depressing for you and your family and also very hard work. I am lucky that I have a very loving and caring family who have been with me and my three sons every step of the way and am confident they will continue to be also I have a fantastic circle of friends who have given us masses of support which I suppose is testament to the kind of people my wife and I are as you only get out of life what you put into it.I firmly believe that my wife in particular has been a crutch for too many people over the years which has probably contributed to her being where she is now unfortunately some of the ones she has been a crutch for are not the ones that are helping and supporting us but I guess that will work itself out in the longer term.I have read some stuff and spoken to people though and generally there are many different rates of recovery I can only hope that her recovery will be one of the speedier and fuller of all combinations

Once again thank you for your help and support