Hi everyone,
My name is Amber, my father in law Paul had surgery on January 10th to clip a very large unruputred aneurysm(over 7). I joined this group in hopes of getting ideas and ways to help him. He was a very “normal” 78 year old man, he golfed, he loved yard work and was enjoying his retirement. Since the surgery hes lost all of himself. He believes hes married to my husbands mother ( they’ve been divorced 30 years and hes been remarried for 28 years) he believes his adult children are still little, he doesnt sleep at night, he doesnt believe his home is his ( him and his wife moved there 3 months before the surgery), he escaped the house at 430 am 2 weeks ago and was lost for 4 hours, before the police found him, we were all searching for him and he was about a mile away. His primary doc has found hus iron to be extremely low and started him on iron infusions, but all follow up tests are normal they say, and it will take time…People hes getting worse, hes going ack further and further in time. We dont know what to do to help him, i go over there multiple days a week before i go to work, my hisband goes by afterwork, his wife is exhausted. Ive bought activity books, im making a photo album with all out pictures and who it is and years to try to help. What else can I do… He knows hes confused and he knows theres something wrong, he states hes confused, but cant help it. Im so lost
I’m guessing @Moltroub will know a lot more about this, but. . . My first thought is that the family needs help. My first step might be reaching out to the local office for the aging or whatever it’s called locally. I’m guessing that home care assistance is needed as well.
Well done, reaching out for help
Sharon from ModSuppport
Good Morning Amber! I moved your post to its own topic so more members will read it as not everyone reads the welcomes. Helping someone after an aneurysm is repaired can be a lot of things - relief the person survived, exhaustion, frustration, fear, confusion and did I mention exhaustion? I ruptured and for those of us who rupture, our families can have all these but about ten times worse.
I have a question, do you know if he had a craniotomy or an endovascular (coiling) procedure? And another question - did he have an ischemic stroke or did his aneurysm rupture whilst the doctor was doing the repair? If you don’t know, you can look at his patient portal to see if it’s in there or call the doctor. My last angiogram I went into severe anaphylactic shock and it was not in my surgeon’s notes. I was told it would be in the anesthesia notes but that’s not available in my portal so I had to request it.
Anesthesia can be very difficult for some and if he was coiled, he has the contrast dye to contend with. I don’t know if they use contrast dye during a craniotomy as I’ve never had one. For me, I had to hydrate a lot after each procedure because of both. My rule is three bottles of Gatorade and twice that amount in water. The electrolytes are very important. I also have to have at least 90 gms of protein every day. I use Fair Life now because it’s in a plastic bottle and easier to shake up. I get the ones that are 30 gms of protein and since it’s a liquid I get to count that in my liquid intake. I have to get the due and anesthesia out of me as I don’t do well cognitively with either.
When Dad was still alive he was supposed to hydrate because of his TIAs he kept having. Bless his heart, he’d get a glass of water and not drink it but would insist he had his water. After I ruptured, I became more verbal and told him just because he had water didn’t mean he drank it. So the three of you need to make sure he is hydrating and probably increase his protein and decrease the carbs. When I had my first angiogram after my rupture, I had the next angiogram a week later and it took me about 3 months to get over it. My brain was very muddled. The more I had, the longer it took to recover. I can still get discombobulated and on those days I need to increase hydration and protein.
Seems when things happen in our brain, our short term memory can be lost but our long term memory is good. Your mother in law needs to take care of herself as do you and your husband. Maybe y’all can find an adult day care he can attend so everyone gets a bit of a break.
If he is still wonky after 3-6 months he may need to see a therapist in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or a Neuro Psychologist. It takes a long time for our brains to heal, the older we are, the longer it can take.
Hang in there, remember we are here for you!
I would ask for medication for your Father in law to sleep. He needs sleep to heal and so does every one else. Almost 2 years later my wife still is confused about some things. Sometimes are better than others. Her memory is missing years of events other things she recalls fine. I hope your FIL outcome is better.