Need advice on coping

I could use some advice. I had an angiogram done in May and they found 3 aneurysms. They will do a 2nd angiogram sometime this month to see if they have grown and whether or not I'll need surgery. I need advice on how to cope with this, I am disabled from having 3 auto immune disorders and have never had a problem coping with it. But knowing I have 3 aneurysms is stressing me out really bad, I'm not sleeping, getting terrible migraines, depression is worse, crying constantly, and having bad anxiety attacks. Would appreciate any advice, thank you

Hi Kimbo,

I'm sorry you're going thru all this...I can't say i'd be all that comfortable either knowing i've got 3 annies 'brewing'~ (Whenever mine have been found they either required immediate surgery or ruptured, one of the other!) So although i'm sure it doesn't feel 'lucky' to you right now, the positive side of all this is that they've been found pre-rupture and the next good news is your doctor seems to be keeping pretty close tabs on them ...Do you know which arteries are affected ? were the annies an incidental finding and did your migraines begin way back when or do you think the aneurysms are excellerating your migraines?

I think for starters (if you haven't already done so) I'd ask the doc for an anti-anxiety medication to help with the anxiety ....and i'd want to know what the next step would make the most sense: (such as coiling, clipping , stents, or wait/watch )..If there has been no growth, they may not want to do any sort of surgical intervention, and it would be riskier to attempt a fix right now...

Best of luck to you on this, I know this isn't easy!

Peace, Janet

Don't suffer alone Kimbo...see your Doctor and tell them your feelings and see if they can order something that would help with depression and anxiety. Also, learning as much as you can here can help take some of the fear out of this journey...keep us posted...sending out a hug ~ Colleen

right internal carotid artery, left internal carotid, and the left vertebral artery. They were found by accident, did the angiogram because I am having memory problems, can't feel my left foot, and checking for vasculitis because I have Behcets syndrome. I've had migraines but I seem to be getting them much more often. As far as the anti anxiety med I'm not sure they'll let me take it because that was one of the meds I used when I tried to commit suicide. I'm having a 2nd angiogram done this month to see if they have grown. Thank you for the advice.

I take medicine for depression but not for anxiety. They took my anti anxiety medication away from me because it was one of the medicines I used to try and commit suicide. Thank you for the advice.

I kinda know how you feel. I only had two CTA done, they show mine has grown. I have a angiogram set up in sept to see what the next steps will be. My anxiety is all over the place. My migraines have been insane, I have been on topamax now for over a month now it’s actually helping. I don’t want to say that for fear it won’t. But it does seem to be helping. I don’t get to come on here very often I have a lot of craziness going on but I try to read when I get a few moments here and there. Makes me feel a little less crazy.

Hi Kimbo. I’m sorry about your distress. On 2 occasions your replies were I tried to commit suicide, with anti anxiety meds. Nobody will addressed it. I will because I had 2 people I loved committed suicide. One survived, one didn’t. One was my close friend, they found her in time, and were able to pumped the tablets out successfully. When I went to the hospital to visited her. She pretended like it was nothing. I broke down, and let her have it. About being selfish! And not thinking about the people, her loved ones left behind. My other friend was my co- worker, she didn’t make it. Our desk was side, by side. We were the same age 22 years old then. I will never forget that we worked together that Friday, laughing and happy as young people do. I came to worked Monday morning and heard she was on her deathbed, calling my name. She died before I could see her that day. She took a herbicide- the survival rate is nil. I will never forget her. I used to have flashbacks in the early stages of her death. Is something I don’t talked about. It was long time ago. In my youth. But is something I will never forget. I can still remembered her father hollow cheeks and distant eyes at the funeral. Her mother was a no- show. She was on medication, sedatives. It’s not worth it Kimbo. Have Faith. I’m a survivor of a ruptured aneurysm. I spent 4 months in the hospital. From wheel chair, walker, and now cane. I will not let this aneurysm defined me. It will not take away my spirit. I’m a warrior not a worrier. If you need someone to talked to. I’m here, and so is the BAF family. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Thank you, it helps to know that others are going through the same or something similar to me.

Trying to commit suicide is not because someone is selfish - it's because they are so desolate that the feel they have no choice. It's not about not thinking of others - it's because they don't think they have any other choice but to die. This has been brought up by several people lately because of Robin Williams. Having this discussion, though, is actually good since admitting to trying suicide is still too taboo and little understood.

You see, I know also, because I tried to commit suicide long ago, Kimbo.

Kimbo, having been diagnosed with aneurysms is a really scary journey. I started taking Lorazapam .5 mg during the time from diagnosis until surgery.

I hope you are getting help for the depression and anxiety. If you have seen a therapist in the past, now would be a great time to start again. My therapy was this group - what a great thing to have someone to talk to who has been through this. I wish I had had this when I had breast cancer. Crying constantly, though, is a very telling sign of severe depression. You need to see someone immediately. Lack of sleep only worsens depression. I implore you to seek help immediately. And yes, I have had severe depression many years ago and I tried suicide. I am so glad that I lived. There is hope - you need help now.

eYou are correct when you say trying to commit suicide is not selfish. At the time I was very sick and the doctors couldn't help me and it got to the point that I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I am seeing a therapist but he seems to think I'm bipolar and I told him I'm pretty sure I'm suffering from major depression. So currently the medicine he has me on does not seem to be working. I go to a neurologist next week to see if I have vasculitis. Thank you for writing me and understanding what I went through, appreciate the advice

Hi Kimbo and Sherri. You must realized, that I was in my 20’s, when I told my friend, she was “selfish.” I must emphasized, as I said in my comments. These tragedies happened in my youth. Let me stated clearly." I don’t believed committing or attempting suicide is selfish."Usually, the person is suffering from depression, or some mental illness or addictions. The person is crying for help, and needs professional help. This is when, family and friends, needed to stepped in. Please don’t get me wrong! Read my blog on Robin Williams. Kimbo and Sherri, you’re in my thoughts and prayers. Have a healthy day.

Wow Kimbo--Sounds like you've been through a lot. I can't say that I truly understand what you are going through. But know that we are here for you, for positive thoughts always. One thing that helped me while going through my aneurysm and multitude of medical issues, is to trust the doctor, but know that there are always other doctors if you don't trust the one you got. Last year was the worst year for me (so far...I guest:)). My 2 y.o. broke her arm while following her 7 y.o. up the bunk bed and then fell. My 7.0 was diagnosed with pediatric cateract, and now we found it is progressing, so surgery is eminent. Then ended last year with a annie clipping. This year, my daughter re-broke arm from a playground accident and I am dealing with significant hair loss. My point is that, things happen that you cannot control, but know that someone out there has it worst and taking things one at a time is all you can do.

I am a big admirer of the Dalai Lama and have engrained in my mind some of his teaching. The best one that brings be through rough times is that worry is useless. All worrying does is suck the life out of you, instead, replace the time worrying to something that you enjoy doing. You cannot control everything and worrying does not change it.

Hope this helps. I wish you the best and please don't hesitate to update us with your days, however good or bad it may be. The BAF has always help me cope by allowing me to talk about anything on my mind :)

Stay strong

Jam

Thanks, Kimlin. Luckily for me that was a long time ago. If you thought I was being hard on you - I didn't mean to be. It's just that it is a common misconception.

The people I know with bipolar are up and down - manic for days, then crash. Are you experiencing this? I started trying to find one that worked during cancer treatment. I would try one for 4/6 weeks and then move on to the next. I didn't care for the first psychiatrist I went to, but the 2nd one I tried I liked a lot. One thing I did do before trying them was review the side effects of the meds. I didn't quit the depression med until last year - I think I was afraid that I would still need them, but I am fine.

f you need to talk about anything, please feel free to message me.

Sherri