I am new to this site and I'm feeling it out at the moment. I've been reading some stories and advice and I appreciate for the first time being somewhat in contact with people who have been through what I've been through. Even though my family, friends, and even my therapist try to understand they never actually will.
In May 2009 I suffered a ruptured aneurysm. I had no prior symptoms or any idea that this could even happen to me. Thankfully my boyfriend (now fiance) was home at the time. I felt like what I describe as fireworks going off in my head and I tried to get his attention but I couldn't tell him what was wrong with me before I fell down. He thought I just fainted but when I started having a seizure is when he called for help. After being in an emergency room for hours they figured out what was wrong with me and transported me to Huntington hospital. I had two craniotomies where they fixed the ruptured aneurysm with a clipping then they fixed another one by clipping it also after a coiling attempt failed. I was told I also had a mild stroke during one of the surgeries. I was in the hospital for three weeks where I was actually never scared (probably because of the drugs) and kept my sense of humor about me which helped keep my family feeling like I was going to be ok.
Thankfully, I have fully recovered with minimal effects physically. I am much more cautious in life but I don't let fear take over. I think the hardest part for me is how to get past it. I don't want to forget it because it's taught me a lot in life but I feel like it's always just there. I don't exactly know how to explain it or how to get that feeling to lessen over time.
I am truly grateful for being alive and now I see the world a little differently. I have learned to appreciate the people I have in my life more and even the things around me. I'm also happy to have this forum to share my feelings with people who know how I am feeling.