Introduction: Hello! I'm Maria and I just had an Aneurysm!

General personal-stories
1

Hello All!

today I turn 25 and I'm writing this post 21 days after a 3mm Aneurysm in my Anterior Communicating (ACOM) Artery ruptured.

I have a history of AVM's which were discovered 3 years ago, right before I turned 21. An AVM in my brain bled and I had a seizure. Since then the AVM's in my brain have been repaired, as well as others found in my lungs.

This rupture occurred pretty much right when I was feeling like I was in the clear, and leading a pretty normal life.

In the hospital I learned from my doctor that they had know about this aneurysm, only it was so small there was no intervention possible other than monitoring it. Somehow in the whirlwind of information that began dumping on me 3 years ago and the feelings of bitterness and denial as my invincibility, and party-happy lifestyle was ripped out from under me, I managed to miss this important bit of information, or at least not register it's magnitude. I'd been worried about AVM's bleeding, never did I realize this was a possibility.

I should have stopped smoking cigarettes with the news, and I did, about 10 times. I'd venture to say that of the time after my initial seizure and learning about my condition I was smoking about half the time. I had insane guilt. I literally joked many times that my brain would "explode" if I continued. Boy, was I right. Ironically I smoked my last cigarette on new years eve, and then started going to the gym 3 times a week, only to have my brain EXPLODE 23 days later. Suffice it to say I think I learned my lesson this time.

In many ways I learned a lesson. The first time when I learned about my condition, I responded in a very immature fashion. I never felt like i was given a second chance on life. I just didn't respond in the optimistic way most people do after life-threatening events happen. That's partly not my personality, and it happened at the prime of my life, i was about to turn 21, i was in college, everything was awesome and then suddenly I wasn't allowed to Drive for a whole year or drink, and it was like my independence was taken away, I had a lot to be upset about.

But this time was different. Unlike the first time, I was conscious the entire time. I experienced the most incredible pain, and actually experienced the fear of knowing that I might die. Now I DO feel like I have a second chance at life.

I feel like I never joined a forum like this (there is AVMsurvivors too) before because i was not ready to identify with this aspect of my life, again more denial. but now it's undeniable and I'm ready to face it head on.

I'm here because I really need to hear from others who have had this happen to them. If I was paranoid before about my head exploding, now it's even worse. I've had headaches my whole life and it sucked but I wasn't scared of them. Now I feel like I can't trust them, now I feel like the next one is going to turn on me, kill me.

My head still feels funny, and I don't know how long it's going to last, but I can't feel totally relaxed while I'm feeling this way.

That's all for now I guess, I'm happy to meet all of you!

Maria

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Welcome Maria. I don’t know how you found this website but you will meet so many people who become “like family, like friends” now. I always learn something when I am here. Today I learned something from YOU!

My sister has an annie that is 2 mm. She still smokes too. Her doctor told her they would “monitor” her annie. (Mine was a large annie that burst. I was a smoker as well and I didn’t even know I had the annie!). Anyway…today I will tell my sister about you and hopefully she will stop smoking! She has seen what I went through but thinks that because mine was large she is not “at risk”. Thank you for telling us about you! God bless!

3

Maria, it sounds like you have matured a lot over the last while. I didn’t know you before, but who I know now sounds like a nice, bright and strong young woman with a lovely spirit. I understand your feelings of fear. I had a coiling on dec 16 after my first Annie ruptured. They discovered a second one too that has not ruptured and recommended I get it clipped. I’ve had headaches everyday since and some a quite severe. Those ones scare me. Over the last week though they seem to be getting a little more spread out and not as bad. I have been drinking at least five to six bottles of water a day and it seems to be helping. Or maybe I’m just naturally healing, but at least I feel I’m moving in the right direction. Be patient is what I’m hearing and allow yourself time to heal. I wish you the best. :slight_smile: Lisa

4

Welcome Maria!

I was 16 years old when my brain aneurysm ruptured and I will be turning 25 this March so we are quite close in age. I am almost 9 years post aneurysm but I also didn't seek out support until much later. It is amazing that you are able to write this only 21 days post rupture! It sounds like you certainly were given another chance at life. I had the one, but one is enough thanks! :P

I have moments where I worry about something like this happening to me again. I previously had issues with headaches before my rupture, but haven't had too many since the initial bleed, so whenever I get headaches, I go into hypervigilance mode expecting the worse. I just try to live my life because we really never know what could happen the next moment, whether it is an aneurysm or anything else that could significantly change your life. I often remind myself that there are some things that we have no control over, but we do have control over how we deal with it.

I am glad you found the support you are looking for. Please don't hesitate to contact me if you ever want to talk! I wish you all the best on your journey!

Take care,
Irene




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Welcome to our community where we turn for comfort and support and reassurance that we share the same emotions. We are lucky to be alive.

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Welcome! I had my first brain aneurysm at 22. I had my first surgery in 2010 then I got two more aneurysms. In 2014 I had two more surgeries. Luckily for me they never ruptured. I’m glad you’re doing better. I hope you recover fully soon. It takes time but stay positive!

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Maria, I am 78 and had a brain bleed nearly 20 years ago while flying over the Atlantic to Budapest. Considered surgery in Phoenix but Mayo Clinic suggested watch and wait. So here I am still watching and waiting! I count each day as a blessing and look for opportunities to be a servant leader. Our three children have blessed us with ten grandchildren. Hopefully your life will be as long and productive!

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Hi Maria,

You are certainly very lucky to be here. I am glad you joined the family. I am a survivor of two ruptured aneurysm's and one that got clamped while the doctors were in there trying to save my life. I was 37 yrs. old when it happened. Never had an idea, until I came around a week later in the hospital bed. I thought I was there to donate blood. I had a 20% chance of making it through the surgery. I am blessed to say, I am here and just turned 50 :) It is very scary living like your playing Russian Roulette. One headache, and I am a panic mode. But you learn to live with it. I have become even more compassionate for the human mankind. It took me awhile to reach out to others like myself, but I am sure glad I did. I don't feel so alone out there. There are others who went through this traumatic time of their lives. I am happy and content, there are others who go through what I am still going through. Mentally and physically. God Bless. :)

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First and foremost, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dearest survivor, Happy Birthday to you.

Welcome to BA Found. This place is amazing. I am so glad to hear you are still here. An aneurysm rocked my world when I was 19. I had no knowledge of it at all. Boy did it light my world on fire. I have thankfully recovered practically fully.

If you need a little bit of support and a gleam of hope of where you might be in a few years take a look at my page, I have a dual sided story of my journey...the first half from just after my attack and one that I wrote just under a year ago. It has been 10 years and my life is amazing.

Headaches are still here..and my indent in my forehead is still there..but I am now a mother, a wife, a successful business woman and full of humor...

Just remember to breathe, life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful.

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Maria
I am sorry for all the pain and suffering you have been enduring all this time! Thank you for your honesty and pouring out your heart.
Im glad that you have been getting a better grip of things. I believe our greatest challenge after surviving our aneurysms by the grace of God is the emotional aspect of it. The doctors took care of the physiology, now its our turn to deal with our emotions(anxiety/fears) and don’t allow them to rupture (if you will) and destroy our peace and hope to push forward.
I have 3 unruptured aneurysms, 2 treated with pipeline stent/coils in 2013, 3rd one pending its small in size thus being monitored. I can relate to you in your headaches in the beginnig every head pain I felt I would freak out thinking the worst, it led me to the ER at times. Yet, it shall pass, you just learn to adjust to our “new normal”.
Its a must, you need to learn to overcome your anxiety/fears, its the best medicine/support you will ever need to endure this trial and move on. Keep us posted of your progress!

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Dear merengah,



Welcome to this life. When I was 22 I was diagnosed with a terrible-sounding lung disease (pulmonary sarcoidosis), but survived it, and when I went back to work someone had left, and I got my dream job. I look bac now on this as a positve event, and so will you, eventually. I’m now 74 (and had my aneurysm fixed in 1999 at 58, so these things keep happening in our lives. God bless you, and welcome!



David Andrus

12

Hi Maria,

I am quite a bit older than you but still can identify with a lot that you say. I always took my bounding good health for granted, although I did always suffer from bad migraine headaches - not any more!

I set out at tea time on New Years Eve 2010, a happy, confident, well-paid woman, to meet some friends for a quick drink while my husband cooked us dinner. Never made it.

Next thing I knew, I was waking up in hospital and they told me it was the following March! Rip van Winkel syndrome. They explained what had happened to me, I couldn't really take it in, I never knew I had that thing lurking in my head all my life.

Eventually out of hospital, lost my confidence, felt my body had betrayed me, my happy life had been stolen away, plus a lot of 'friends' deserted me.

I won't go into more detail (unless you want me to), just be patient with yourself (not easy at the best of times, especially when you are young but, let's face it, we don't really have a choice!)

Go with the flow. It really DOES get better!

Sally

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Welcome Maria! You have found a supportive, caring community here at the BAF. I was 25 when my aneurysm ruptured, which caused a stroke and then had an emergency craniotomy. I understand feeling as though a rug has been pulled out from under you in the prime of your life, it is not easy to accept the sudden changes in your body and your life. Due to a hemianopsia from the rupture, I have not driven since the aneursym in 1992, it does take some getting used to a loss of independence at such a young age, but like anything else, you get used to it. Hang in there and try not to let the normal sadness and depression after such a trauma get to you too much. You have so much look forward to in life and as Sally said - it really does get better!

Melissa

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Melissa,

My driver's licence was suspended before I even had a chance to get one because of the hemianopsia. I was sixteen and always wanted that independence. In Ontario (I am from Toronto), they have a program called the Vision Waver Program. This allows potential drivers or former drivers to possibly get their licence. I worked with occupational therapists and specialized driving instructors to learn how to compensate for my vision loss. They also have adaptive equipment such as extra mirrors and many other things if you may require it. I am sure you have adapted now without driving, but it could be something to look into if you if you want.

Take care,
Irene




Melissa DeForge said:

Welcome Maria! You have found a supportive, caring community here at the BAF. I was 25 when my aneurysm ruptured, which caused a stroke and then had an emergency craniotomy. I understand feeling as though a rug has been pulled out from under you in the prime of your life, it is not easy to accept the sudden changes in your body and your life. Due to a hemianopsia from the rupture, I have not driven since the aneursym in 1992, it does take some getting used to a loss of independence at such a young age, but like anything else, you get used to it. Hang in there and try not to let the normal sadness and depression after such a trauma get to you too much. You have so much look forward to in life and as Sally said - it really does get better!

Melissa

15

I am so happy to hear you are doing well. I hope as you move forward on your journey in life you are blessed with good health and happiness. Life is a gift.!

Take care,

Trudy.

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hi welcome! I can relate! so sorry your life was disrupted so many times/ways. I am similar to you in that I quit smoking 5 yrs before SAH. I am permanently disabled and blind left side but thankful I can see straight ahead and to the right. I cant drive which is saddening, I am also coiled, I too felt I was dying and I guess I was, I was in a 5 day coma and very confused. i'm 6 yrs post in june, hang in there , glad you found us, tc nice to meet you~~

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Hi Maria & Welcome! Thank you so much for sharing your story; you will emerge from this even stronger than you ever thought were possible; I can already hear this thru your words!

I too had an AVM 4 years ago that ruptured and never even knew I had one...nor did I even know what these 3 letters stood for; nor did any of my family or friends, until it torpedoed into my Life when my head exploded. They did an emobilization with Onyx material on the night I bled to stop the bleeding which ultimately gave me a 2nd chance at this thing we call LIFE and am so very Thankful for just that! So now I tell my son (who is now 29); don't get me going or I just might come unglued :-)! I did had the CyberKnife treatment to obliterate my AVM and got the wonderful news in 2013 that there are not any signs of this beast anywhere in my brain...YAYY!!! May you enjoy many Blessings thru your healing journey an know that we are all here for YOU!!! Michele

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Hi Maria,

Welcome. Wish you well. Be strong and positive.

Sharon

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Hi Maria welcome to this beauitful site , everybody here is like family alwalys eager to help anyway they can I just love this site I hope its as helpful too you as well :) have a great weekend full love peace and joy :)

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Welcome Maria,

I hope all goes well for you. I too had a rupture, its a scary experience for sure. Try to keep as fit as you possibly can, it will help your recovery as you go along. It is a whole new world to get your head around, you'll get lots of support here, so don't hesitate to ask :) all the best xxxx