I came across your post and feel we share a ton in common. I am a 38-year old husband and father of two (ages 8 and 4) and incidentally discovered a 6mm right ICA unruptured aneurysm in January. In April I had a pipeline device placed.
The situation definitely shakes you, and I had many of the same fears you mention - the mix of my mortality and thinking of my kids and wife without me. It’s so easy to look on the negatives of the situation, especially when the negatives are so severe. Having an issue with the brain is another layer - I kept thinking why couldn’t have been any other body part! However, when I’m thinking and acting as I intend to, I channel those thoughts to how lucky I am to have found this before it ruptured, how amazing modern medical technology is and how those worse chase scenarios are such a tiny fracture of a chance due to the process. It still amazes me that they can go in through my hip, all the way up to fix the problem, and leave an incision the size of a pencil eraser that now, a couple months later, isn’t even visible.
Waiting for the surgery was the hardest part, but have faith that it will all work out. I found having some mantras to keep, (even though I’m definitely wasn’t that kind of person before) really helped: “Go with it”, “I’m so lucky”, “My chances are amazing” “God’s got this” etc.
I spent too much time on Dr. Google and worrying about other folks results before the surgery. For me it was an absolute breeze physically. The pipeline was even easier than the angiogram. I spent one night in the hospital and 2 weeks at home recovering, but I was up and on my feet and feeling good when I left the hospital 24 hours later. I fatigued easily, but that was super manageable. The hardest part for me was laying flat for 3 hours. I picked up a cheap phone stand on amazon that clamps to a bed and brought that so I could watch netflix or youtube during those 3 hours - it helped a ton. Stay hydrated - that really makes a difference. I have no lasting effects now 2 months out - mentally on top of things the same way. The procedure and recovery were a breeze.
If I could go back and tell myself anything, it would be to attend to the mental side of the experience more. I wonder if I should have talked to a therapist right after it was discovered up to and past the procedure. I think that could have helped me work through the “brain game” side of things. I needed to give myself permission to be rocked by this a bit, and to use the thinking side of my brain, rather than the fear side, to paint an accurate picture of the situation - I’m a relatively young man with a loving family, surrounded by folks who care for me, who is extremely lucky to be alive in a time when this issue could be detected and most likely completely solved.
It sounds like you are in the same boat too.
Hang in there - you are in a much better place now, knowing and being able to do something about it, then you were a year ago. You and I had a false sense of security before knowing, now we can get it taken care of and have the best chances of spending a long long time with our families and loved ones!