How (and when) to tell young kids about surgery?

I have 6 year old twin daughters and a 4 year old son. I will be having surgery in about a month or so. I am trying to figure out the best way to tell them about the aneurysm and surgery. Right now they just know that mommy has had a few doctor appointments. Also, is there a better time to tell them? I am afraid if I tell them too soon, they will just worry the whole time. Is there any book or something that will help?

Hi Terri,

I don't think I'd want to panic the kids by telling them you'll be going into surgery until shortly before you do, and assuming you're having a clipping then I'd want to be sure they know that 'Mommy's gonna look alittle crazy" at first, abit bruised up and such with stitches to go with the new look, but that your new look is necessary and wonderful at the same time since now Mom's all fixed up, Moms gonna be around for ever now for sure, and the startling appearance is all part of the game in order to heal up and be better then ever before--and they can help you heal fast by being good kids! I'd hope that for the 1st coupla' days home maybe have it set up so the kids can stay the night at Gramma's maybe? or some place similar? I think I'd just want them to know that nobody hurt you and that this healing process with your new temporary look is all part of the plan..

Best wishes Terri and peace! Janet


There are a lot of parents in this expect you will have lots more feedback...

What about asking your parents, inlaws, friends..for any of their experiences...the opinion from the kids pediatrician? ...I think there is a pediatrics may want to connect to them...the few who have had children treated for aneurysms...they can likely share how/when they explained to the siblings...

How about attempting to find a book? If there is not one, maybe when you recover, you'll decide to write one.

Best Wishes...for your children and your treatment and recovery...