Hi everything going to be okay right

So I’m starting to understand now the stuff this community shared hi I’m jd I’m 29 and in 2010 I was rushed to 4 hospitals before the flow me to USC where they found out I had a rupture brain anerysum and my brain was already 80% full woke up 9 months later to not being able to talk or nothing …now why do I remember them showing me a mirrow MAN MY HEAD BURN AND HURTED I remember lights so bright I couldn’t see or hear really that same night they decided to take me to an mri at like 3 am man long story short I left the hospital had too, thanks to my mother and 1 year of hardcore ecuadorian physical theraphy homemade ofcourse I walk and talk normally in 2012 I was told I wasn’t shit i blame everything on my sickness so i went to college graduated 2012 just to find out do to my anerysum nobody wanted to put their license or insurance on the line for me so I did what everyone told me to do apply to ssi I did I had didfrent doctors evaluate me and tell me if I was hurt I was 22 young firm never broke a bone or even seen a doctor ofcourse I had dreams and goals anywayz I said things that trip them out I got denied (I’m so tired of typing) 2018 I wanted to know about my pump I got my medical records again this time it read I was rushed from the accident scene to USC to get emergency surgery and I left the hospital.in 2 weeks you guysssssssss negative I have my mom as a witness that never happen my mom said she visited me for 9 months straight why would they do that to me now idk I got my reasons but anywho it gets better I go for an mri to see how things are I ended up getting electrified puss comes out surgeons freak out inget brain flush operation I get 5 days in the hospital cause the have to kill this thing I have in my head they swear an mri machine cant do this so they make me take medications I take them nothing all.my.pains triple lost right hearing cant open my mouth big anymore it’s a huge mess now I’m 29 waitting for court appeal in my ssi benifits still have puss coming out from my head I can berly walk now people think I’m depressed but I say one thing I’m not death but in death all u see is darkness and everyday of life ever since my brain. Aneurysm I been in the dark the light hurt I’m weak to the light anyways my family hates me I have no friends I am nobody have nothing this happen at 20 my gf thinks I’m freaking insane and nuts idk what to do longer I love life I’m not going to give up but yeah

Hi JD, and welcome to bafsupport! It sounds like you’ve been through a lot, so I’m really glad that you found us here. You can speak with people who have been through this, and get and give support.

While I know that you said that you’re doing okay, I had some concern about where your head is at right now. I do want to bring your attention to the Crisis HELP section at the top of the page, or here.

Sharon from ModSupport

1 Like

Hi I’m here cause I couldn’t take my life turns out it’s very hard I go to sleep every night thinking they have to e someone out there going trew similar things I have hope and death is not an answer I need answers USC doesn’t give me nothing it’s been 9 years and my health is getting worse my the day

Hey Juan,
This is Merl, we’ve spoken previously, back in May 2019.
You state “…puss came out…”. Now if it was puss that would indicate an infection of some sort. Have the got you on antibiotics? If the fluid is not actually puss but Cerebral Spinal Fluid (CSF) that would indicate a leak which would need to be sealed and depending on location and size would depend on the treatment for such a leak.

Your experiences in obtaining ssi is not unusual, in fact I am yet to hear of one that has gone through on the first attempt. I had major issues with my own. My first was rejected outright. I appealed the decision, this too was rejected. I saw numerous dr’s in the proceeding weeks. One of which was for my TPD application, which, with the assistance of a lawyer, was accepted. I got the lawyer to obtain a copy of the medical report requested by the TPD insurer. With my second application for ssi I used the report from the insurer’s doctor and this WAS accepted and I finally got approved. It was a long arduous process though.

I’m sorry to say it like this, but the fact is you have a brain condition, that can effect anything and everything. Some people are of the thinking that it’s a bit like a broken bone, 6-8weeks later and its all healed. But when it comes to the brain 6-8 months later and there’s still no guarantee things are all healed. My last neurosurgery was in '13 and still today some things still aren’t ‘back to normal’. Some people find this difficult to accept, but I can tell you this, it’s nowhere near as difficult as it is for me to accept it all, that’s for damn sure. Their judgement of my situation is not helpful and for some I’ve been fairly direct in informing them so. We are not in this position by choice, as I often say “Who the hell on earth would choose this?? Not I that’s for damn sure…”

Please know, you are not alone in all of this, we are all here and we know because we live it too. Some people see asking for help as a weakness. It is not. Asking for assistance shows we have looked at the situation, analysed it and worked out we can’t do this alone and that takes insight and strength. I’ve had to ask for assistance, professional assistance myself because the mountain was too big to climb on my own.

Hope it helps
Merl from the Moderator Support Team

1 Like

Hey JD! I remember you coming on before as well. With brain issues, like Merl says, you must be patient. I too am very concerned and would urge you to follow Sharon’s advice and seek some professional help. Try the Crisis hot line link that she provided and speak to them. Also you may want to talk to your family doctor for suggestions on therapy groups in your area as well.

It took me several years to get on disability and I had to hire an attorney. You just follow through with all the paperwork, if you don’t, you end up starting all over again which can majorly delay any assistance due you. I would suggest going to your county DHS or DSS (I’m not sure what California calls it) and speaking to someone in Adult Services to help you with this.

Here is a link to Disability Rights in CA, though the article may not be exactly what you need, it outlines different programs. https://www.disabilityrightsca.org/publications/medi-cal-programs-to-help-you-stay-in-your-own-home-or-leave-a-nursing-home They also offer a translation in Spanish https://www.disabilityrightsca.org/es/publications/programas-de-medi-cal-para-ayudarle-a-permanecer-en-su-propio-hogar-o-salir-de-un

Hi JD,

I’m so sorry to hear about your trials.

When I read about your problem with the MRI, I immediately thought have may metal in your brain/ body that caused you to be “electrocuted”. It’s sort of like the sparks you would see if you put a metal item in your microwave and turn it own.

I have metal aneurysm clips and I was warned not to ever have an MRI because of potential problems.

I pray that you will find someone who has the skill and compassion to treat you for this problem.:pray:t5::pray:t5:

Funny you mention the spine so after some emg testing nerves testing they found out I have hernias in almost all in my spine disks and I might have a berry aneurysm now they want to open me up. Heres my question now looks like I need to be an expert at this where do I go to learn about this sickness in my medical records shows brain aneurysm in another part it says stroke very difficult to understand and here it is I understand why im.confused I’m a stranger to this brain anerysum but people who study 10 plus years to get a degree took an oath to help to their best to their abilities dont know what wrong with me they act like me they confused not sure they are scared to find out so they do what’s BEST for the moment I’m trying to see my daughter graduate college how I feel I be lucky if I’m here by her 10th birthday why why why why does doctors act like I’m the first one 2020 impossible I doubt it I wont accept it again after u do a good good understanding looks like death is only answer makes sense but why survive to die … I need to know I have to know my answer can save lives who ever is reading this please understand and if you can help or feel the same please let me know but know I try everything already again I’m on a 3 month rest my appointment are on hold but march again they full.do a brain flush and idk just a repeat cycle my stomach cant take it any longer also I’m a mess ugh

Juan, Seenie here from ModSupport

It really does sound like you are a mess and struggling. Friend, you have a daughter who needs her daddy, and it’s going to take some time and doing to get you fixed up, but you need to reach out to someone today. Really you do. There are a lot of people who would want you to get help, including your doctors.

  • Please pick up the phone and call your doctor’s office.
  • If you have a drive, ask to go to Emerge and tell them how you are feeling.
  • Click on the Crisis HELP tab on top of the home page and call the Helpline 800-273-TALK (8255)

You can do at least one of these things Juan. Please do it for your daughter and for the other people who care about you, like us here.

Juan, please hit reply and say something … anything … so that we know that you have read this message. Can you do that for us?

Sending thoughts of strength your way

Seenie from Moderator Support

1 Like

And welcome to you, @Tmpacheco69! It’s great to see you posting, active and supporting others. That’s what makes this community such a special place!

Seenie from ModSupport

Hint to members: you can click on the tag (@Tmpacheco69) and instantly be introduced to Tina, and read her story.

I done everything u suggested things get worse

Did you call the crisis hotline in the last five hours?

Remember some of us have to keep trying and each day is a new challenge. We all need help at various degrees.
We are not geared to assist nor are we trained to help someone who is not wanting to live. We have been through this before with you. Please call the hot line or go to the ER. You might need some different meds to help you through this rough patch.

All the time