You are so correct about needing to do it immediately. I usually apply, sit down and drink a glass of water. I use the carrier because the young lady who does my massage every 3 weeks suggested, she knows more about these things than I do. I do mix it fairly strong, and make sure the small container is liquid tight. Sometimes, depending on the season, I’ll melt some beeswax to keep it more solid
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My situation is a little different. I’m waiting for a firm aneurysm diagnosis, but I have had a migraine problems in the past and have been dealing with a different type of headache lately. I can’t due to allergies and asthma take anything except extra strength Advil. I find a couple of those, then wrapping my head in an ice pack, helps immensely. (I’m lucky, I have an extra long one that comes with a holder that lets me physically wrap it around my head or neck.)
This is just what helps me and I thought I would post it in case it might help others.
Cheers,
Bertie
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I get headaches with weather pressure changes…sometimes a cold compress to my forehead/brow areas and blocking the light for a while is the only thing that will dull it enough to function. It supposedly isn’t related to my aneurysm and/or surgery but it was not like this prior to my surgery. I am thankful and consider it a small price to pay for being alive and healthy 
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Unfortunately this is a very common post op diagnosis. In fact it was said to me “Well, your continuing pain is nothing to do with what we have done. It must be YOU…” like we choose to be in this position. I also had a surgeon say to me ‘But you had headaches before surgery…’ and it’s true, I did, but nothing like this. It seems that some believe that all headaches and their management are the same but this couldn’t be further from the truth IMHO. Giving them all a simple name of ‘headache’ does not come close to expressing the reality of it all. I don’t get headaches, I get mind numbing explosions of agony and they all vary in intensity, location and symptoms. Due to this variability my management tools also need to vary from a cold compress to hibernating in a darkened, silenced room, to regulating everything from activity, medication, stimulation etc. It certainly is not a case of ‘One size fits all’.
Merl from the Moderator Support Team
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It’s often amazing how different surgeons perceive issues. I must’ve had all my cards right, I’ve never received the responses you have from my surgeon. From one of the NP’s that used to work with her, yes, but never my surgeon.
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Thank you so much for answering me! I think the worst part is being dismissed. I think my family may be getting tired of talking about it, but pardon the expression, it is always on my mind 
It is coming on my 9 year anniversary and I thought somehow I would not be needing as much help or support as before-but there are days I feel like I am back where I started. A headache (for lack of another word to describe it) can debilitate me for the rest of the day or a couple days. I hate to give in to how I feel and I keep pushing until I cannot go any more-which I know is not good for me, but I haven’t had any doctor take my side otherwise, so my family doesn’t expect any less of me. So for an example, over the New Year holiday, I was putting away all the Christmas décor and the grandkids toys and doing laundry and dishes from the last few days and I was carrying a huge stack of things upstairs, I tripped on who knows what around the corner of the staircase and fell. I broke a veircose vein in my leg and it swelled up so bad I panicked to the point I thought I was having a heart attack. I laid in the floor just so afraid to look at it-I also sprained my wrist, trying to catch myself from falling. It has been 17 days and I am finally where I can walk and use my hand without horrid pain. But the worst part was the fear I felt about the possibility of how bad this could be and what did this mean as far as my vascular system. I didn’t let my husband take me to the doctor until I was ready to face the possibility I may be admitted. (I was not by the way) but the fear gripped me until I can’t describe it. When I am afraid, my head starts throbbing on the side the annie was at my temple and it gets so severe till I am crying tears without even realizing it. I recently found a new doctor who is listening to me and she said she can understand my being tired and if I need time off work or adjust my schedule she is ready to help, so that is something I have never had in the entire nine years. Thanks again for all of you who post on this site.
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Hey Rachel,
‘…a new doctor who is listening…’ This can be a rare thing, a very rare thing, so keep a hold of that one and don’t let go. I had a really good dr, but he retired and his patient list was handed over to a new dr at the practice. To say the new dr was useless would be an understatement. He was ignorant, arrogant, self righteous %$#@& with an attitude of ‘I’m the dr so I know better than YOU…’ He had letters written by the neurosurgeon with recommendations which he disregarded and played everything down, labelling me as a drug seeker. I finally, after trying to battle through with him, made a formal complaint about his conduct, then changed surgery’s. This is all hard enough on it’s own without others, who, let’s face it, should know better, passing judgement.
The compounding effect of headaches + neurosurgery + stress can be massive. Others passing ill informed judgement only adds to it all but unfortunately it is VERY common. As I often say ‘Some people think that neurosurgery is like a broken bone where 6-8 weeks later, it’s all healed’. Well, Don’t we wish this was the case. 6-8 weeks is only the start of the journey. For some, yea, sure, they can have a miraculous recovery, but for others 6-8years later and they/we are still trying to manage it all. This is NOT a ‘One size fits all’ scenario and some doctors don’t seem to be able to accept this. So when you are lucky enough to find a doctor who has some comprehension of this reality, grab a hold and don’t let go. They are a rare thing I can assure you of that.
Merl from the Moderator Support Team
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Yes I looked at her and thought OH NO she is so young! I cannot do this! She sat down and actually listened to all my crazy. Then she brought up a few other things I had never even told my husband yet. I started crying b/c she actually believed and understood what I was saying! It was like “Finally!” I have been going to these other people who would run me through an appointment as quick as possible and one said well maybe we should give you more pills to make you feel more awake. I said “I don’t want more pills! I want an explanation as to why I feel this way? Is this ever going to better?” Then he would say, “well try these pills and I will see you in 6 months” I would leave crying and my husband would say, you need to stop feeling so sorry for yourself! Other people die with this!-You lived!" Don’t get me wrong, I am so thankful to God I am alive, but that is just it, I have things I cannot explain going on and nobody can see-so they think I am making them up" It makes me feel like I am a bit crazy sometimes. So I start to feel like am I just looking for pity? Well maybe a little, but the schedule I am trying to keep is simply impossible for me sometimes and I know I am a burden on my family, but I am certainly trying not to be, so hey, cut me some slack here! Anyway, my husband got to hear the Doctor say those things too and his mouth dropped open-like he just was stunned to hear a doctor back me up and realize I am not making up symptoms for something to do-but it is real and hard, but I am still going, despite all the opposition, him included.
Hey Rachel,
That ‘questioning self’ is normal, when we’re surrounded by doubt often a very vocal doubt (which EVERYBODY seems to an opinion on) we do tend have that ‘Am I really just crazy?’ conversation with ourselves. But if I could give the doubters my pain for one day, just one single day, there would be no doubt anymore. Prior to my situation my sister in law would complain of having headaches every day and to be honest I thought it maybe a ‘female issue’, I remember telling her “Ohh I couldn’t handle that…”. Then not 6months later I was in having neurosurgery and OMG the agony was way beyond any pain scale I could ever dream of. As I said before “…I don’t get headaches, I get mind numbing explosions of agony…” trying to explain it in words to others adequately is impossible. It has taken me years to get to a point in my management where I have a little bit of control.
I went to all of these dr’s, each who had their own ideas. I was used as a drug experiment “Here, try these… …ohh that didn’t work… …well try these instead…” I was on uppers and downers, heart meds, epilepsy meds, pain meds of every colour and creed, hell I damn near rattled like a pill bottle when I walked, but none of them worked and some of the side effects were just nasty. I even tried Botox, which was sold to me as the ‘miracle cure’, it was not. But once I had exhausted every avenue open to me, the medicos couldn’t say I hadn’t participated or at least tried ALL of their treatment options.
At my last appointment with the neurosurgical team I had a new (young) dr too and for the first time ever she told my wife and I “We don’t know why some patients recover pain free, and yet others have no end of issue… …We don’t know everything about the brain…” This was the very first time ever that I have had a dr admit to this fact. Maybe it was her age and she hasn’t built that ‘hardnosed’ attitude yet. Maybe their education has progressed somewhat to acknowledge patient symptoms more fully, I’m not sure. But that simple acknowledgement of them not being all knowing and comprehending my reality was a pleasant shocking surprise. My wife and I looked at each other like 'Did that REALLY just happen…?" It had never happened before.
Merl from the Moderator Support Team
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I had my unruptured aneurysm 2016 and 4coiling/stent as well. Came home the next morning. Was told I was to be there for 3 days. It is now coming on 4 years in November and I am still having headaches and many other problems after my surgery. The surgery does not want to admit the headaches is still from the aneurysm. I am on blood pressure, migraine meds. Headaches come and go with the weather patterns. I have a family that looks out for me. Hope you all do.
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I so understand when you say that because we look “normal” folks don’t think we have any issues. 20 weeks post craniotomy and I am still tired, constant temporal headaches and jaw PAIN. My husband thinks I am all healed up and gets frustrated when I forget things, speak of headaches or jaw pain, or am simply tired. I am back to work cleaning houses a few days a week. Just that and keeping up with my own stuff wears me out. I don’t…because I am making myself push through…but could nap every day…
I don’t think seeing my neuro would help since I see these are issues many folks have.
Any way to get my spouse to understand the fatigue and pain? Help me get him to understand.
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You might want to check out either the BAF website as they have several articles for family members. Another website is the American Stroke Association. If you have difficulties locating them, let us know and we will help you search.
That being said, some family and friends, just don’t want to admit there is a long recovery period and want us like we always were. Life is about change, and it doesn’t help to be in denial IMHO. Perhaps talking to your husband while he is tinkering with something will help. In my experience, males do better talking when their hands are busy and females do better sitting and discussing issues.
All the best,
Moltroub
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Good advice. I’ll check it out. And I appreciate the heads up on when may be a better time to have the discussion.
I love this group. Thank you so much.
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I do (reluctantly) agree with ‘some’ of Moltroub’s comments 
Us, males, can be difficult sometimes especially when it comes to emotional stuff. Many of us are taught the male’s role with ego, not emotion. So when we’re confronted with it we try to deal with it in the simplest way possible, with minimal emotion. Dr, hospital, operation, recovery, all fixed and life goes back to normal. I tend to call it ‘The broken bone theory’ and if we were solely talking about a broken bone, that theory could work, but we’re talking brain matter, not bone and the healing processes are totally different.
Some things can return relatively unaffected, some things take time and somethings never get back to normal. Some people talk of a ‘new normal’, where we adapt somewhat to our ‘new’ circumstances and, again this can take time. I am not going to say ‘In ‘X’ years time, all will be OK…’ Nobody can say that with any great surety because no two people, nor their surgeries, nor their recoveries are ever the same.
I say all of this from my own experience. I’ve required multiple neurosurgeries and none of them have been the same in their recovery nor duration. I thought my first surgery/recovery was BAD, but it was minimal in comparison to the others. Each surgery has knocked me harder and harder. That ‘Male ego’ thing in me reared its ugly head “I could before, so I can now”, only I couldn’t. My ego couldn’t or wouldn’t accept that and I had a big battle with self to get to a point of acceptance of the reality of it all.
My last neurosurgery was in 2013 and still today I’m symptomatic. Some days that’s minimal, some days it’s like “Stop the world, I want to get off of this ride” I just never can tell what today will bring. My memory, which was one of my better assets has evaporated, I now have to write notes to remind myself even for little things and as for my stamina, nil. Some days I’m so exhausted I need an afternoon nap. As for the headaches, I thought I knew what pain was. Years ago I had a bad leg fracture, a compound fracture, with the bone poking out of the skin. It was painful, but it was nowhere near the constant, unrelenting, exhausting agony of neurosurgery. Nowhere near it.
Has your husband ever attended any of the neuro appointments with you? Sometimes hearing it from a dr can be more direct. Even directing him to come and read some of the experiences posted on here to show him that ongoing, unresolved issues are actually rather common. Sure the dr’s may have fixed the issue, but in the process of the ‘fix’ what else has been disturbed. There’s not much room in our skulls and little, tiny changes in our brains can have some huge, MASSIVE flow on effects.
Some males (and yes I do include myself) can find comprehending it all rather difficult but if your man thinks this is a simple ‘walk in the park’ for us, well, from one male to another ‘Hell, don’t I wish’.
Merl from the Modsupport Team
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Oh gosh. Thank you so very much. Will try to get him to read some of the posts here. Especially the ones from you and moultrub. These are especially helpful.
It is a long process and your right. Every day seems different. A ling journey I am thinking.
I have resorted to notes and they do help. I appreciate this group so much. It helps keep me safe when it seems every thing is falling apart.
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Oh, Moltroub. This is a nugget of wisdom. Pure gold. Thanks.
Seenie
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We went to a Stroke and Aneurysm support group a couple years back and my husband asked the Doc, hey, it’s been X number of years since my wife went thru this, when will she get back to normal?
The Doc looked confused and said-“first meeting? Well Sir, this is your wife and this is her new normal, whatever happens each day to her, is normal for her today” I was so relieved!
We heard so many stories that night, but that’s the one thing he has held on to, when things have been really tough.
He just needed to hear it from someone professional, I guess, but it worked! 
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I have same description of symptoms you mentioned and am atm on botox injection and i still suffer with migraines and also vertigo sometime and fall two times i did couple of mri
They mention my aneurysm is occluded and i have an old dissection just before my aneurysm howevery they describe it as an old which is almost completely healed and i found also that i have micro bleed i am still not sure is it ok or not
Doctor keep say that it is no big issue , am not satisfied i did operation on 2018-7 For I ruptured annie and since that time am suffering from it!
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Thank for writing . I have had daily headaches since my surgery to coil a ruptured aneurysm 4 years ago. The doctors all want to give me antidepressants, amitriptoline ,nortriptoline and many others . they make more unbalanced and dizzier than my normal state. I’ve been taking Tylenol or paracetamol. which help but the moment they wear off the headache comes back.Its so frustrating.
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I can totally relate to what your talking about, I’m so sorry you’re suffering. After my first rupture (Oct 2011) it was about 8-9 years before I got help. My neurosurgeon referred me to a neurologist, we tried some medications but again, no help. He finally convinced me to try Botox. I get around 31 injections (these are short little shots) in my forehead, head, upper shoulder area. I get these every 3 months & it’s really helped me. About a year and a half ago a new medication came out, Ubrelvy, you get 10 pills, that’s a 30 supply, they are very expensive. My insurance didn’t want to cover them but his office convinced them they had to cover them. There’s no narcotics in them, you can take them anytime of day, I’ve had no side effects at all from them, they work! You may want to talk to your Dr about them. I still get headaches but they are much better now. I had a second rupture in June 2019. I can’t stress enough how important it is to do your follow ups, they’ve saved my life 3 times since my first rupture.
Good luck, if you have any questions feel free to contact me.
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