I am still in shock over my dad dying from a completely undetected brain aneurysm which ruptured. He died at age 62 and I am desperately searching for answers. I feel so guilty and basically miserable about the whole thing still. It sucks.
What I need to know is has anyone survived a brain aneurysm rupture to return to a normal life over the age of 60? He was a smoker and everything, but it's not like he was going to be dying suddenly from that. If there is even a chance you can live an independent life after something like this, I need to know. If not, it would make me feel a lot better about letting my dad go.
I know that if you do survive, you're most likely facing a ton of neurological problems, both temporary and permanent disabilities, and you aren't ever going to be the same again. Would he ever have wanted to live like that? I don't know, but I rather he be disabled than dead. It is eating me up inside to know that he had to go through something like this.
Apparently if you are younger there is a better chance at surviving, and I've been looking everywhere to see if anyone around my dad's age has actually survived this terrible event. I can't really find any success stories, which makes my heart break all over again. I feel so awful, not for me, but for him. He didn't deserve this. I feel so lost without him... he died 20 days ago and yet it seems like yesterday. I don't know why this happened to him. I'm falling apart without him.
There are many that survive a rupture after the age of 60years old...your father definitely didn't help himself with smoking...
Truthfully, I think you would do yourself good if you could go to grief counseling...this isn't so much about the brain aneurysm, but losing a parent...God Bless and Good Luck...~ Colleen
Awww I am so sorry that you lost your dad. Very happy to hear that you had a good relationship with him. Hang on to those wonderful memories. Aneurysms aren’t picky about age. Approximately 40% of people that suffer a rupture die from it regardless of age. There are a lot if success stories on here if survivors over the age of 60. I have to say that I agree with Colleen. Grief counseling would be very good for you. It is amazing now much it can help. I know of course we all want something or someone to blame when we lose a loved one. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Thank you for the information about your family history with brain aneurysms. I am really sorry to hear about it. I so desperately wish my dad had known about this, but who's to say how happy he'd be after recovering from something like this.
His ruptured aneurysm was on the left side of his brain, he also had another one that was on the verge of rupturing too on the right side. I know for a fact he wouldn't have wanted to live if it meant he was forced to rehabilitate himself and go through all of that for months on end. He wouldn't ever be happy again, but I so selfishly wanted him just to be around for my own sake. It would probably be even more painful to watch him go through that.
If I in fact have an aneurysm myself, I am not sure I want to know or not. It's too scary. You are very lucky to have caught yours, and blessed. It can also be considered a blessing that my dad died so suddenly and didn't have to face the effects of lung cancer (a mass had been discovered in his lung at the hospital).
I am going to start counseling very soon. I love my dad. I hate aneurysms.
It's so much more than just a good relationship, he was my closest relationship with anyone. Ever. And our relationship still continues now even through his death.
I have both someone and something to blame: an aneurysm, and myself. It's not fair, Carol. I'm not talking about fair for me, but for him. Aneurysms take those we love without reason. I mean sure he never took care of himself and kept smoking even after developing emphysema, but a brain aneurysm? Are you serious? I have no words...
He was probably going to die either way, I know that, but he was just so young and I can't stop beating myself up about it. Grief counseling, here I come...
Awww, you shouldn't be blaming yourself at all. You loved him and had a wonderful relationship with him. You did everything a father would want from a son. But your blame on the aneurysm, is absolutely right on the mark. Keep those memories of him alive in your life.
I am happy to hear that you are going to seek counseling. It truly will help you :)
You and your family members should also be screened for aneurysms which will help anyone else to have to suffer from a rupture.
I am so sorry to hear about your father. No family should have to go through something like this. It's just horrible and no one deserves to die this way. My dad too had complained of headaches a few times a couple of weeks before it happened, but I thought nothing of it. Looking back, they are probably those "warning headaches" that they talk about. Neither of us could have expected it was something like this.
I too have been getting headaches almost every day for the past couple of years, sometimes every day and I am really scared that it's something like what my dad had. Most of the time I just live with them, but then there are days that they are excruciating and so much worse than others. If I do have an aneurysm, I am not sure I even want to know...
It's not fair that good people are taken like this from things beyond their control. I mean sure, he smoked his whole life and didn't eat healthy, mostly fast food every day, never watched his blood pressure or exercised or anything of the sort, but he still was fine. Besides everything else that could kill him, I lose him from an aneurysm that no one even knew about... it's just not right.
I love my dad so much and I would gladly have taken his place. I want to go out the same way he did... is that weird to say? I wouldn't want it any other way. He's my dad and I want to be just like him, in life and in death.
No amount of counseling can bring him back, but it will help me cope with losing him so suddenly. I truly believe that he was happy with the way his life turned out. And for that reason I don't feel quite as terrible about all of this. He and I understood each other and I know he knew how much he was loved and forever will be loved.
awww so sorry for your loss, its no ones fault, I blame my forefathers smoking and bingeing since the surgeon said I had it since birth and I was smoking in the womb cause people didn't believe in the dangers in the 50's not to mention pollution and industrial toxins, my sah was 4 yrs ago at 51 and I shudder to think if it happened at 62, I wont go into details and appear negative, I try hard to remain positive and practice what I preach, however I can tell anyone and everyone you do not want a rupture- it has practically destroyed me being permanently disabled etc etc, If its the gory details is what you need to hear write me and i'll be happy to supply them if you think it will help you, I too struggle with the whys and what ifs and have resolved to a que sera sera is what it is philosophy, any questions? I will do my best to answer,keep the faith, keep strong, Bless you and yours~~
My dad suffered from both a subarachnoid hemorrhage along with an ischemic stroke... not sure if they both happen simultaneously or there is a delay between the two. He seemed relatively normal after it happened, the only thing he said was his head hurt. He was still talking and making sense until he passed out... if you want the full story, I can private message you or whatever. I am just trying to make sense of all this.
I actually do want to hear all of the negatives. In a weird way, it will make me feel better for my dad passing quickly instead of having to live the rest of his life in a way he would absolutely in no way want to live. I don't mean any offense to you or any one else who has survived this, I certainly wouldn't wish this kind of thing to happen to anyone. Seeing my dad have to live the rest of his days like that would crush both him and I completely.
I knew he wasn't going to live much longer given his numerous health problems anyways. I just can't believe this happened to him and it hurts so badly to know he had no control over the way he died. He was developing a mass in his lung which was without a shadow of a doubt going to be cancer, though the doctors never biopsied it or anything. He loved to smoke and he died doing what he loved, so there's that as a positive I suppose...
My wife suffered a ruptured brain aneurysm about 2 months before she turned 64. The person in charge of our local ER that day said that the decision that she should live was not made on earth. We do praise God that she is alive today and functioning at a very high level, though life is different. The first doctor at the first hospital to which we were flown that night told me that one out of three dies right away from such an injury. We had no guarantees that she would not die, but eight days later we were told she would life. Our hope during that time and today is in the Lord. I hope that you will find peace about this which you could not control.
I am so glad to hear that your wife is doing okay, albeit in a different sort of way. I know that my dad probably was not going to live much longer either way, had he survived this, because of all his other health issues. He wasn't going to be the same person anymore and his body was giving out on him. The whole cancer thing was kind of a surprise to see, which would have been awful to witness him go through. I am slowly beginning to take comfort in the fact that he passed quickly and did not have to suffer too much pain. I know that I didn't have control over it, no one did, but I still wished I had known if there was even a sliver of a chance he could live a functional life. My hope during every day now is that I can see him again one day.
My mom now 81 survive the rupture but is not back to normal. She is in a nursery home has a feeding tube but breathes on her own. Sometimes it seems she responsive other time she stare out in space. Dr wants us to stop feeding her
But I feel it is not my decision. We took a vote and 7-3 vote to stop but then dr refused unless we all agree. I pray and feel that she will decide one day to go. But I can’t say stop feeding her. She response to the three that voted to continue to feed her. They say it is our imagination. But I still see life in her. Hers happened all of a sudden too.
That is extremely horrible and just goes to show how devastating the effects of a rupture can be. I am so sorry this has happened to you and your mom and I can't even imagine being put through seeing my dad like that. I pray for you and I know it's an extremely agonizing decision either way because I went through the same ordeal when I was forced to end life support for my dad after his rupture. He would never even open his eyes. They couldn't even feed him because his advanced directive specifically told them not to. Did your mom ever make her wishes known if something like this were to happen to her?
My sister survived a grade v SAH nearly 5 years ago, she was 54 at the time. When it happened everyone wanted her to live at any cost, but the cost was great. She had nearly 15 months in a rehab. She's still traumatised by that experience. She has had numerous problems & surgeries, unbearable pain and an outcome that we would not have wished for. Even though she is still here and living at home, she requires constant care. She knows how small her life has become and she suffers bad depression. I've never seen anybody try so hard, it breaks my heart. Of course it is wonderful for us to still have her here but I don't know if she shares that feeling. She hates being dependent and that's not going to change. It has taken a huge toll on those around her. I am really sorry for the pain you are going through now.
I'm 71 and had 2 ruptured aneurysms, all I know is that pain shot up the back of my head and I knew no more till 2 weeks later when I came to in a hospital. 1 coiling and 1 clipping 30 days rehab, and now 3 1/2 years later I live alone, drive and care for myself. I have very few problems if any. It took about 3 months be for I got able to do much. about 9 months to fully doing what I wanted. I feel very Bless to be where I am today.
So sorry about your dad, I feel for you, it is so hard to lose someone, My husband died in Dec. You will be in my prayers.
I share that same pain with you. I am so sorry that your sister has to endure all of that. Honestly, it makes me feel somewhat better that my dad got to pass relatively peacefully and does not have to depend on anyone else to take care of him. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Though I would gladly had done so, I would do anything for him, but I know that he wouldn't want my life to revolve around his needs. My life revolved around him before this happened and that wouldn't ever change, but a brain aneurysm ended all of that.
Something has to be done to put a stop to this. There is clearly no where near enough awareness about this issue. All of these senseless deaths and debilitating effects could be avoided if only more people knew how serious this is. I hope for your sake and your sister's sake that no one else ever has to go through something like this again.
Thank you for your story. It sounds like you are indeed blessed to have survived something so major and dangerous. I'm not sure how you did it but you are so much stronger than I thought a person could ever be.
Sadly, at the rate my dad's health was going, I don't think he would have lived to 71 even if he hadn't had a brain aneurysm. He was developing lung cancer, and that wouldn't have been fun for anyone to endure.
I'm so sorry to hear about your husband. I know his strength will channel into you and give you what you need to keep going, much like my dad and I.
I am very sorry for your loss, although I can relate. My mom had her aneurysm rupture last October (4 months before she turned 64) and it still feels like yesterday. She was taking care of her body very well and I guess it's the reason she survives, although she hasn't recovered and needs 24 hour care. Till this day I still cannot believe this happened to her.
I did seek counseling and I think it helps. I talked and cried at the session- It didn't change the fact but it provided an emotion outlet for emotion and a ear to listen. One thing I come to realize (and still struggle with) is to accept the fact. All those "what if"s don't change the past but make me miserable.
I admire your courage to reach out. It sounds that you were very close to your dad (and still are.) What would he say if he can talk to you now? Doing this exercise keeps my sane and helps me to be stronger as I know my mom would want me to be happy and enjoy the life I have. I believe that goes with every parent who love their children deeply. Live for your dad.