So I now am scheduled to have a bypass and occlusion on MAy 15 at Boston Medical Center. Which is right around the corner. The closer it gets the worse I feel. There is no relief in my mind knowing that this is comming. I worry about the recovery and how that will go. I worry that my children will not do well staying with my mother through this process seeing that she does not really like my kids all that much I don think. Dont get me wrong she is not mean to them but she is not that warm loving gramma that I had growing up. They do not have a close relationship at all and to have the only constant ripped away from them is going to be tough. All I want to do is cry and it does not seem to be getting any better. Anyways I am just rambling and can not help it just need to vent to someone other then my family who just dont seem to understand all my worries. Thye keep saying oh stop fretting you will be fine. Support will never be something that I can get at home when it comes to this..
Vent Away...MB...many of us went through this with family and it is so frustrating...I told them..."How do u know I will be ok...?"..."When even the Doctors didn't know?"...well all that matters is what you think...and the worrying will not help you...ask the Doctor to give you something to take until surgery to take the edge off...
And Get out and do something for you...do not sit and just think about the surgery and/or the kids...right now You have to be the Focus...and be strong for your surgery...~ Gotcha in my Heart ~ Colleen
I understand. While I know that my surgery will go well and I will recover, I am still realistic. I know that there are possible complications. I just try to focus on what I can control. My surgery is Monday so I have been preparing as much as possible. I try not to give the surgery much thought because that is when the sadness and anxiety take over. I am trying to be strong for my kids as not to scare them.
I got each kid a little "mommy going to the hospital" gift. I also asked them to make me cards and pictures everyday. I had them come up with a list of food they want Grammie to make for dinner. I also keep giving them lots of hugs and kisses and tell them how much I love them.
You are allowed to cry. You are allowed to be scared and feel any feeling you have. I have not been on this site long, but everyone has been so wonderful and supportive. They understand what you are going through.
I will soon get my clipping date and am already fretting so with you there. Hugs we will get through this.
Good luck Terri, will think of you tomorrow.
Ramble away MB! Maybe this will bring your mom and you kids together. Do you have any friends that can help when you are home? We are here for you.