Brain Aneurysm Support Community

Getting harder

I’m almost 11 years post aneurysm burst resulting in DIC which caused blood clotting in my extremities and amputations. I lost my left hand, some fingers on my right hand and half of my right foot. Aneurysm was in my right frontal lobe and was successfully clipped though I have some atrophy. I’ve been on antidepressants since the event but have been hospitalized 3 times now for attempting suicide in 2013 and most recently for acute anxiety.
Despite the challenges, I was able to return to my office job with the assistance of a touch screen monitor and a supportive supervisor. I have felt for over a year now that I might be developing early onset dementia due to memory loss, increased anxiety and the inability to keep up with my work load. In the past 2 weeks I’ve been hospitalized twice due to my mind racing and anxiety attacks. My meds were changed drastically this last time and I’m feeling better but I’m in slow motion and a little drowsy still getting used to the meds.
I’m sorry to be a downer, but I’m wondering if anyone else has experienced similar side effects after their aneurysm.
Thanks and God Bless You all,
Rita

Hey Rita we’re glad you came back and touched base with us. I’d never heard of DIC, so had to look it up. Here’s a definition for others https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health-topics/disseminated-intravascular-coagulation

What I also didn’t know is this https://www.sepsis.org/sepsisand/disseminated-intravascular-coagulation-dic/

I’m sorry you’re having a rough time of it, but glad the new meds are helping. It seems like you’re on a wheel like a hamster cage has…your experiencing memory loss, increased anxiety and difficulty keeping up with work, topped off with clinical depression…jeez that’s a hard wheel to be on.

If I was experiencing these symptoms, I’d try to figure out which was the cause and effect. Anxiety can hinder memory and work load. Memory loss can bring about anxiety and difficulty at work. Inability to keep up with the work load can increase anxiety which then stops you from remembering what it is your supposed to do.

When I type it, the thing that jumps out to me is to deal with the anxiety first. I realize you’re on meds but what has your therapist suggested for you to do to control the anxiety when you first feel an attack coming on?

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Thank you for the response and understanding. I’d say that I’m less depressed and more experiencing an anxiety disorder, beginning to believe I have PTSD. Stress at work causes my mind to race and it feels like a fight going on inside my brain. This can be caused by a mistake I’ve made, more than one difficult task requiring immediate attention and most often is triggered by a particularly difficult coworker who thrives on creating drama. I hate confrontation now and it sends me straight into fight or flight So I’ve used a good bit of my paid leave time to go home and curl up with my dogs.
Yes, my in hospital therapist helped me develop a list of coping skills and a safety plan. I’m seeing my psychologist tomorrow for follow up after having been in the psych unit so I’m certain we’ll discuss coping skills as well.
I’m going to give the meds and increased psychologist visits some time but am honestly considering early retirement and seeking another work environment.
Thanks again for responding and encouraging me.
Rita

Hi Rita, I had a ruptured brain aneurysm two years ago, and while most of my physical ailments were easier to keep track of in terms of healing; the emotional ones are harder to deal with. I continue to go through difficult times with not being able to make emotional connections, so it’s not easy to be consistently motivated. The analogy I use is someone at the dinner table who doesn’t have taste buds and isn’t hungry. They know they need to eat, but it also makes it harder to be motivated to do so. It was and is difficult to accept the uncertainty with everything, but I’ve gotten more comfortable with it, and that’s been helpful. I hope the medication works and you’re able to continue to adjust.

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Hey Ms. Rita,
By this time you’ve already seen the psychologist. I hope the Dr. told you about deep breathing exercises. If not, I can explain how to do them.

I remember co-workers and others who loved drama…it’s very aggravating. Most of us just never stop them, we also don’t want to keep going to our bosses and complaining. Since I ruptured, I can’t keep my mouth shut and we never know what’s going to come out of it. At least it makes for an interesting day lol.

Learning avoidance behavior isn’t a bad thing with a drama co-worker, but not always doable. I’ve been searching the Internet and found an article that actually gives examples of what you could do. I liked it so much, I sent it to my BH https://www.themuse.com/advice/how-to-deal-with-the-5-most-negative-types-of-coworkers

I understand wanting to change jobs, fact is the new one may end up equally as stressful. I’ve held a lot of different jobs and there’s always a drama queen. I think it might be more helpful to learn how to use your new coping skills in an environment you already know. You also really like your boss and that’s a huge thing! Some things you can try is to discuss it with the psychologist and your boss. Let your boss know what it is you’re going to try to do. This way Boss knows you’re not giving up and that you value them and the company.

Don’t give up on the Psychologist. They are not a quick fix. It takes a lot of effort and work that you have to be willing to do. This is especially important if you have PTSD. Think of it in terms of about a year or more. Most Psychologists and therapists I know start their patients out weekly and after a few months bi-monthly, then a few month sessions. There is no set time as it all depends upon the therapist and the client. The therapist needs to know that not only do you understand the coping skills provided, they need to know if those skills work for you and how hard you have been practicing them.

There’s all sorts of life experiences that can cause PTSD or anxiety. You have to learn triggers and anniversaries and several other things. You have to learn how to control your responses and how to take control the millisecond the anxiety starts to show itself otherwise we stay a victim or prisoner. If we don’t practice the coping skills, we become a prisoner of our own making. Some people are comfortable in the roll of victim, it’s a known entity. You seem to be a person who is willing to take up the fight, so please hang in there!

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Thanks for being so open and honest. I know I have struggled with depression and anxiety which I never had prior to my medical issues. I never made it back to work which is very sad for me. Good for you for keeping on working and moving forward! You are strong!

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Rita,

It sounds like you are a fighter and have reached a stopping point. Maybe you should find someone to talk to that is more nurturing? You are at a point where you need more support than you are getting.

You’ve experienced a lot of trauma. Ask around for a reputable person.

Sincerely, Jen

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Thanks to all who responded, your support means so much to me.
Each day on the new meds has gotten better and since posting I’ve met with my neurologist and tonight with my pastor and his wife. I am thankful to have a support team in place and I count my psychiatrist, my psychologist, my neurologist, my family and my church family among that support team.
The neurologist gave me a memory test, did bloodwork and has ordered a CAT-A scan to look at the arteries in my brain so I believe these results will ease my mind a great deal.
Thank you all again and I’ll post an update when I get some of these test results and appointments behind me.
Blessings to you all!
Rita

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Rita

It sounds like you are a fighter. You are able to work and dealing with your anxiety.

My doc did clipping on my 16 mm unruptured vertebral aneurysm in 2018. It was risky procedure then it leads to brain stem compression. My body is so weak (like a veggie), so many troubles, feeding tube, couldnot swallow, but thanks God, I was awake. This situation helped the doctor and nurses etc who are helping me. I am not be able to work until 2022. I have panic attack, anxiety history

Remember, anxiety or panic attack are about emotional feeling and mind. So we should take a control of it
Everyday, I was thinking what my life will be.
Remember that just put in mind. God helps and God is good whatever situation we have.

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Amen! He is our strength and our protector. I remind myself of all He has already carried me through and that He will carry me through this as well. Best wishes in your recovery dear.

Rita

Good evening Ms. Rita. I am sorry your healing journey was filled with all these issues. God is not ready for you yet! Walk in your miraculous health gift from God as you have not fulfilled your “purpose” for Him yet. There is much more work to be done for the Lord! The Blessing of Psalm 57, “Be merciful unto me, O God, be merciful unto me: for my soul trusteth in thee: yea, in the shadow of thy wings will I make my refuge, until these calamities be over past.” Although, your health journey, has taken you through unbelievable channels you are still here. Amen.
I thank God every day for my Brain-Aneurysm journey!! My journey, took me to death and bought me back to life in 1990! I never thought I would look like a human again, after seeing myself five months after I got a stroke and was in a coma. My surgery, took 10 hours, hooked up on life support machines for a long time. I had to learn to talk, walk, and understand my journey. Yes, I had arrived on the other side. All I remembered, I was walking through acres of bright, beautiful colored flowers, and no end in sight. I loved where I saw I was. It was quite, peaceful, and bright. I heard a voice said to me to go back twice but I kept going, on the third time I believe that’s when God blessed me with abundant life!! To return home!! I have to fulfill my purpose on this earth!! So, all things are possible through God. Rita, think positive and CALL on God he is here with you. God Bless and Stay Strong. Amen.