I’m going back to work next week, three months after my SAH and I’m not ready. NY Life dropped my disability claim one day before meeting with my neurosurgeon at the three month mark. So, I don’t have a choice, really. My PCP cleared me for 20 hrs per week; my manager insisted on 30 hrs per week or they would drop my health insurance. I’m, like most of us, stuck between a rock and a hard place. Since I’m not independently wealthy and my wife doesn’t work, I have to get back in there. Here’s what worries me: it’s a high stress job. The two weeks leading up to my SAH in February were some of the most stressful that I’ve ever experienced.
I chatted with the team lead yesterday and told her I’d be back in on the stipulation that I’ve worked out with the manager, that I be given plenty of breaks for rest if needed. She wanted exact times throughout the day and I told her that sudden onset fatigue doesn’t work that way. I’m measuring my own biometrics daily and even I can’t predict when I’ll feel like a narcoleptic. There aren’t that many warning signs, at least none that I’ve found.
So, I am a little worried, but I’m also trying not to overtly stress about it.
I had to skip my PT this week because I’ve just been walloped with another medical bill.
All that said and I’m still extremely grateful just to be alive
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Hi @c0nsilience,
I was not a fan of 
'ing your message based on the content (rock and a hard place), but I am a fan of doing so, only because I can somewhat understand what you have been through, and what a warrior you are, and my belief that you are to be able to handle this next phase!
Like you, I knew the writing was on the wall, and not being independently wealthy either, going back to work was my only option. Although I did not return to the same job/company, I have brought some life lessons I learned on this journey with me to help manage the stress, such as actually taking breaks instead of plowing straight through a 10-hour day, and meditating to reduce the stress/reset myself. My boss knows my number one goal is to keep the stress down, and I also stand up for myself more (when appropriate) saying Me 2.0 doesn’t do X anymore.
My favorite PT shared with me a website called Ask Jan, and I linked to the Brain Injury page for you. As was told to me (not by a lawyer, and I am not one either, so please be aware), we could ask for accommodations and this link describes some things our employer can do. Just keep it in your back pocket should you have need of it.
Aneurysm people are FIERCE AND STRONG people - whatever your pathway is - whether post-rupture or watch-and-wait. We are more than capable of overcoming these little challenges after dealing with the cards dealt to us. So, I know you are going to do great and represent us well!!
Please let us know how you are doing and what we can do to support you. We are here for you!
Fin Whale Fan 
- on the commute in…
P.S. I will continue to send good thoughts your way!
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Hey @c0nsilience ,
That’s fairly rough to be dropped before the meeting with a neuro. Do you have any right to appeal the decision? I’m in Australia and our systems are somewhat different but I’ve had some dealings with the insurance industry and they can be difficult wherever you are.
In the very first instance their automatic answer is ‘No’. In very layman’s (basic) terms, if they say ‘No’ and you accept their answer, they don’t have to pay. They win. But if you can appeal the decision or ask for an independent assessment, they maybe able to keep your file open.
When I applied initially, I tried to do it all myself. The insurers tried to have me jump through every hoop and loop they could find. Anything to disprove my case. They had me going from one Dr to another, to another. They had investigators parked down the road from my home. They spoke to my neighbours trying to find anything to disprove my claim. In the end I had to get the lawyers involved but my claim was eventually approved.
These companies can be mongrels to deal with. Let’s be honest, they don’t want to pay and if they can get away with it all, they will. My advice: Don’t let them. We take out this cover for when we are in our time of need and I can’t think of a bigger need myself. 100% I would much rather be working. I don’t choose to be in this situation, so the idea I choose to be making an insurance claim against the insurer by my own choice is just offensive. Don’t be letting them push you down. If they can do it to you, what about the next person in your position?
Merl from the Modsupport Team
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Hi @FinWhaleFan,
Thank you for the words of encouragement and for the resources. I do appreciate it!
As a wiser man than I once said, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” 
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Hi Merl,
Thank you and I couldn’t agree more! They’ll do this to folks with stage 4 cancer that are trying to grab some semblance of dignity. Yeah, I know a job is a job, but there are much better jobs than this. Easily. Why not do a line of work that actually adds value to people’s everyday existence instead of trying to snuff it out? In the United States, the corporations run everything and they are all for-profit and could care less how anyone is negatively impacted. It’s a shame really, as it doesn’t have to be this way at all.
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Ha!
I actually sent a card (yes, an old-fashioned one in the mail) with that very quote on it by that very wise man to some folks just a couple of months ago. It is one of my favorites!
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Hey @c0nsilience ,
It’s economics, it’s all about the dollar. Who has it and who doesn’t. They called it ‘Trickle down economics’ in the 80’s, the corporations take the biggest cut from the top of the pile. The remainder trickles down to those below, by the time it gets to the plebs at the bottom that ‘trickle’ becomes a drip. The dollar always trumps dignity in the corporate world.
Merl
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It’s a little sad that collectively people don’t see kindness as a strength but a weakness. Imagine how different the world would be for the younger generations if empathy were at the top of the virtue pile?
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But you can’t teach empathy. Empathy comes from an understanding of others, not clamouring over everybody else to get your share. Honestly, how much of a ‘share’ do we really need? We have many millionaires and billionaires in the west. Do they have empathy? Empathy can be preached, but the showing of it is often seen as a weakness in the west. I believe it’s Bhutan, a small Asian nation, that measures Gross National Happiness above financial. How different the world would be if our focus was on world happiness vs the sacred dollar.
Merl
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Chiming in to share that I’ve been through a similar experience, though I was not under as much pressure with regard to full-time hours. My SAH was at the end of November, and I was definitely a basket case for a couple of months in recovery. I started back to work at the 3-month mark, but it was part-time and remote for the first month or so. More than once I walked down the hall to nap. I’m now at 6-months out, and the past 3 weeks I’ve essentially been full-time, and it’s a very busy period. I really struggled a bit the past few weeks, but my stamina is improving. I also felt pressured to get back to full time so I would retain my health coverage. I agree with the others who’ve suggested you appeal the disability insurance decision. Good luck! Defo try not to stress about it, just one step at a time, and take those breaks!
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Sorry you have to go though this ! I will keep you in my prayers and I hope you are allowed to take as many breaks as needed.
Paisley
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Thank you all! First day back and it’s been unremarkable. Keeping the ADA stuff in my back pocket, just in case. Appreciate all of the thoughts & prayers and I hope all you are doing well too!
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Agreed, 1000%! We’re all on this journey together and it is an amazing journey!
Try to go as long as you can before starting work. I started to soon and now I wish that I had waited. We all want our normal back! I’m having a hard time keeping a job, fatigue is a huge part of that. You are correct, there is no warning sign, just wham, sudden onset fatigue! I’m wishing you the best of luck, don’t stress out over it. There is always a way! Stay positive, be well.
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Thank you! I don’t really have a choice. Between medical bills and bills, they just keep coming and I’m doing my best to handle them without letting them pile up. To add to it, my oldest son, daughter-in-law, and two grandkids are staying with us right now due to a water main break at their apartment. I’m an introverted person, so, while I understand, it can be a bit much.
Honestly, I just fatigue easily. Between work and a six month old and eighteen month old, I’m completely worn out by the end of the day.
I’m grateful to be alive and wish to remain that way.
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Then you shall remain that way! Sounds like you have your hands quite full. The fatigue can be rough, just remember to make sure to take time out for you! It’s mandatory! 
I formed a rock band after my rupture/repair check it out at
ConnQuest performing Hot Stuff @ gratiot pub 6/18/23
Now this is what I do for myself! 
Have fun, recover well and remember reach out to us.
Best Regards,
Connie
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Haha, nice! Thank you for sharing. I’ve played music most of my life and still play from time-to-time as a stress release. Nothing at all wrong with creative self-expression!
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Agree, I call it my shy side!
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