hi ya Peeps, friends of old and new........
Not checked in for a while, had loads of stuffs to do, including throwing myself a pity party. Kinda got to a point where i'd gotten fed up of saying how well I feel and how grateful I am to the new Me, and then BANG !!!!!! along comes another unexplained headhurty that lingers for bloody days, weeks in fact to which I begin the annie guessing game,
Is it the small amount of excercise I have just begun to feel comfortable with?, am I or the docs for that matter really that sure I am not doing more harm than good?
Is it the fact that for a few days I actually forgot I was a new me and had slipped into my old me way of thinking and doing too much " old ME Normal" thinking and normal stuffs? Like being a wife, mother, friend, an un-annie person.....
I put it down to the weather, too hot, too cold, too humid, take cover a storm is brewing, All I need now is the little boy n girl popping out of my eyes sockets like the old fashioned weather barometers. How novel would that be...tee hee.
Maybe its that time of the Month?..... Sorry guys, us girlies have got one more non annie related explanation for the new non annie realted headhurys than you! Na na na naaaaa...
And then just when you have had enough and want to SHARE, (SWEAR, SCREAM, SHOUT) that No I don't feel bloody blessed to have found annies and had coiling before rupture and walked away a better, grateful, person, (to which at times I have liked to think I have.) I'm sorry but at times I really don't want to thank him upstairs that he blessed me to live a life I don't understand, or deserved to have the old me replaced by a new me, or my husband a new wife and my daughter a new mommy. Although ask them and I know they are happy with wot they got!!!!!:) Beggars can't be choosers..hahahaha. If I was truly blessed I would still not know wot an Aneurysm was never mind be the lucky owner of two.
Then the calm comes, and I realise that its because the headhurty is getting less miserable so I can stop trying to diagnose why it started- this time.... I can stop asking my 8 year old to stop singing so loudly, love her to bits but Britney Spears she ain't, ........
I actually notice the look of relief on my Hubbys face when I reply " Yes.... Today I do feel better.... and we both realise that today, I actually mean it.
Back to the new me, feeling grateful that I am here to feel the relief once the headhurtys stop and think myself lucky and so much more fortunate than those who have no relief days. And ok...so I guess I am blessed that on my good days I am here to either forget for a time or feel somewot guilty for shitty non blessed feeling days...I f ya get ma drift...
So here you have my somewot overdue absence note ...... And as I say i've been having me a pity party and call me selfish but this time around no one was invited ..... Until today that is ......As I'm throwing myself a postive party as tomorrow has finally arrived and I'm having my 1st Angio.....yaaaaaaay..... woooop.... woooop...... Wow here's a thought...wonder if that may have contributed to my latest head hurty somewot!!!!!! All the excitement of having confirmation that all is looking good with Aprils coiling and no change on the wait n see annie i have been babysitting so well.
Fingers and tootsie crossed and any spare prayers floating around muchly appreciated.
Will check in again very soon and hopefully can ge the celebrations started.
Hoping all you guys are feeling great, and for those not feeling so good, hope you get bettered up yesterday
Best Wishes as always
Gaynor x
