Dealing with anxieties, fears and depression will differ depending on your personality, your beliefs and your resources.
Over the years, I’ve depended on prayer and my belief in God, I’m blessed to have a very caring husband who is supportive in many non-traditional ways. So much so, that I don’t have to worry about housework getting done, etc. He shares in it. Our philosophys has been that a marriage is 50/50 but sometimes it’s 90/10 or 10/90 especially when it comes to sharing the load. My mother has been my rock as my postings on this site attest. My weekly calls to her have helped me to stay “grounded”. I’m thankful to still have her.
Sometimes, I write my feelings down. I often reflect on a “depressive” episode that I had a couple of years ago. My mind was buzzing and I couldn’t sleep. So, I got up and started to type “I had a bad day today”. When I was finished writing it was crystal clear that I’d temporarily lost sight of just how blessed I was and that the “bad” day was really a “blessed” day. The impact of that experience has been lingering. If I start to feel down, I recall that experience and am immediately better. Writing on this site also helps. It is a tremendous community.
I also keep busy. My career was very fulfilling. I learned how to manage my “word finding” and other post operative issues so that I could be successful.
As a child, I learned to “give back”. So, I’ve always been active. I find that volunteering and helping others takes my mind off my fears and/or pain. Helping others brings me joy to me. It also emphasizes my blessings…
I also have a PCP doctor who listens to me and helps me deal with my fears. He is not a “pill pusher” or one to attribute everything to my being a hysterical woman (although on somedays I’ve probably seemed like one). It’s also very helpfu that none of the other doctors that I’ve seen over the years have tried to “scare” me into having another surgery.
Depression runs in my mother’s family so I’ve worked really hard to recognize possible onsets and work through them. Thankfully, I’ve not had a serious bout but I do believe that trusting in God and believing that “I am a victor and not a victim” helps.
“Music soothes the soul” they say and I find it to be true. For me there are few joys greater than singing! I love the symphony and I surround myself with classical music and hymns. I’m also quite fond of the Motown Sound and Mr. B. B. King.
It’s been almost 43 years since my rupture. As you say some days are better than others. This is life. We give thanks for our blessings and focus on becoming the best that we can be - “warts and all”.