Hey there BA community! I have been a member of this group since about 2011 maybe 2012 but have never posted. I’ve responded a few times but this is the first time I go about posting to a room. I see a lot of posts on here of those of us who have suffered one of these aneurysms and just want to provide some insight into the life of someone 12 going on 13 years later.
I suffered a rupture near the brain stem to which the doctors attempted coiling but were unsuccessful, they then turned to clipping the aneurysm so this left me with a beautiful battle scar with a story. I especially loved how the doctors made their best attempt to help minimize the scar in order for me to not get even bigger scars. Initially when this occurred I was 22 going on 23 and just starting my life. Honestly this aneurysm was a blessing and a curse and my life would take a curve ball. I’ve gotten the opportunity to do a lot and to anyone who is new to this entire process I urge you to look at this as an opportunity. Is it scary? Sure it is…is it expected? Sure as heck not…how can we respond to this? By playing the cards we were dealt. We were put in this position and there’s no going back so might as well do everything to make the best out of it! Are there going to be tough times ahead? There sure are…there might be days where you’re mad, sad, happy or just wondering why me. The question shouldn’t be why me, the question you should ask yourself is what can I accomplish next? This is important to remember, we aren’t the same person we were before. Accept this…learn to be proud of your accomplishments and build on them! Were you able to do the bed this morning? Congrats!! Did you walk a lap at the track? Good job!! We need to stop beating ourselves up over not being the same person and honestly you’ll be happy with what you can do by seeing yourself accomplishing small things. This is how I started and since then I’ve had some major accomplishments:
-I graduated with my undergraduate degree (Post aneurysm)
-I went to Colorado on a ski trip (a few months after my aneurysm)
-got hired by a few different accounting firms
-switched careers to IT/cybersecurity
-started working for NASA
-got my Masters of Science in Cybersecurity
-have a fiance
Life after an aneurysm is tough but we can overcome and be more than the aneurysm. Honestly, a lot had to happen right in order for me to not only survive but thrive. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and know that you’re not alone. If anyone has any questions ask them, I’m more than happy to help! I have to cut this short as I’m at work, take care of yourself and remember we are more than this aneurysm.
Hi there. First of all, well done on your achievement. Reading your story made me compare it with my own experience. My aneurysm ruptured 22 years ago. I had coils put in but part of the neck remains open as they couldn’t risk putting in any more coils.
I used to be an outgoing, fearless person who was the life and soul of the party but after the rupture my personality changed totally. I had a 12 year old son at the time (now 34) and he said that I looked the same but it wasn’t like being with his mum. This hurt me a lot but he was only a kid. I was back at work after 10 weeks but got tired very easily so I cut down my working days.
I suffered from anxiety and panic attacks which made my life very difficult for a long time. I still carried on as normally as I could. I had to do the school runs and take my son to his activities. In the middle of all this chaos I was in the process of building a new house. I remember going to sign the final documents with my head in a turban pretending that there was nothing wrong with me. Then my mother died and I had to fly to England with my son. I gave the eulogy in the church despite my panic attacks and anxiety. I then realized that big issues didn’t bother as much as small issues like going to the shops or being invited to a dinner party. My friends found it hard to adjust to the new me. Once I was the life and soul of the party now I shied away from people. I left work after about a year as the panic attacks were getting worse. I then didn’t work for many years except that I took in ironing to keep the money coming in. At 64 years of age I signed up for a traineeship to become a home and community carer. I did this job for 6 years and loved it. I even got ‘Employee of the Month’ award. By this time my panic attacks were well and truly over. I am now retired - I never got back my old personality but people now like me as I am except my son still wishes I was the same as I was. On the positive front though - I became a much more caring and empathetic person. I developed this immense love of animals. I feel that I am a better person after the rupture.
All I prayed for after the rupture was that I could live long enough to see my son grow up. God granted my wish.and I will be forever thankful.
There is life after rupture its just a matter of embracing it without fear and enjoying it.
I must add that during the rupture I ‘died’ three times and was brought back to life. I was in the State newspaper as the ‘WA Miracle Lady’ as nobody could believe I had survived the experience as I not only had the aneurysm rupture but it caused other problems in my brain. I now live life to the full and people who didn’t know me before the rupture would never know that there was anything wrong with me. Good luck everyone
Thank you for this post. Just as I was feeling down about not being who I use to be I read your post and realize I don’t have to be.I’m thriving! I appreciate you sharing. I’m a survivor of a double rupture in 2022.I’m so happy to read all the things you accomplished after your aneurysm rupture.They are all amazing!! Congratulations on your future wedding! Thank you so much for your post. It really does help when we post! Best to you on your upcoming marriage and all your future goals! God Bless you
That’s awesome Moltroub! It’s always good to see ourselves achieve something no matter how small of a task it is. It tends to cause a snowball effect and before we know it those achievements are getting bigger and bigger.
It’s a difficult thing to go through but look at you, you made it!! Thank you for sharing Skippy! It helps those who have been recently going through this to see that the end result can be success. I know it would have helped me mentally and emotionally seeing that someone had made it. I’m glad you got to see your son grow up, I was lucky in that nobody depended on me in that manner. Thank you for sharing and lets keep knocking down those barriers.
2022 is not too long ago, you’ll honestly be astonished at just how far you could go. I know the going gets tough sometimes, I feel like one of the most misunderstood facets of an aneurysm rupture is the emotional state it leaves you in. A lot of that depends on the part of the brain that was affected but all in all the fatigue and things we lost are similar. Some people who have had an aneurysm have anger and frustration because of the location of the rupture but we all have it at some point. I recommend this book
It helped me understand my situation a lot better, I also did a lot of reading on Brain Aneurysms in general.
The URL above is of a Ph.D who went through a stroke but it has similar undertones to a brain rupture. There was another Ted Talk my sister pointed me towards but I can’t find it but the gist of it is about how the brain recovers but it doesn’t do a great job of it. I hope you find comfort in the events that transpired in your life, you’re one of the few people who had a brain aneurysm rupture and lived to tell the tale. This is nothing more than an experience
And don’t be afraid to seek professional help, it’s nice to talk to someone about it. Sometimes talking to strangers is easier that talking to a loved one, I don’t know why.
While it is important what our loved ones feel, I believe that any validation of both the highs and lows can be good for our continued healing. There are way too many stories amongst our members that indicate loved ones think we look fine so thus should be fine. The beauty of a good therapist is someone who can teach us skills that our loved ones cannot. I liken a good therapist to a good pair of shoes, they may not be the prettiest pair, but they are the most supportive.
Of course Soconfuse and I’m glad you’ve been able to recognize it. That’s the first step to healing, I don’t think too much is mentioned about just how much this type of trauma could affect us mentally and physically. Sure there are the effects that may be noticeable to the mass but there’s things that are harder to see and explain to people. The majority of the population doesn’t go through something like this so it’s hard to get them to understand that it isn’t them it literally is us. At the same time though we do need to take accountability for our actions, just because we had an aneurysm it isn’t ok to have a verbal outburst at everything in life. I remember when I would get a lot more angry and aggressive was when I was at my university living in a dorm. My parents would come visit me and we’d go eat somewhere and as soon as I felt anger or some aggression coming out I learned to ask them calmly to drop me off at my dorm. It wasn’t their fault I was mad and they learned that this was a warning sign, remember small steps will lead to big results! Aim to not be aggressive for a day, then two and so on and before you know it you would have mastered it. Seeking counseling helps too, talking it through with a professional might help you better understand some triggers. Hope that helped a little and thanks for your comment! You got this!!
It took a while to recognize what was going on, it was actually last January, when I jumped on the train, (I use this analogy, because somebody once told me, it’s like we’re all on the same train, but in different cars).
I started with a Neuropsychologist, and am now seeing a psychologist for Cognitive Behavior Therapy, twice a month. I’ve done well with my anger, until October, but I didn’t black out, so that was a good thing.
It was a good share, because a lot of people don know what’s going on.