My husband has lately been very angry and gets upset over tiny little things.his coil was May 27th. I try to calm him down but he gets stuck on the same subject for what seems like 30 minutes or more. He got so upset today and yelled at me for the first time. He was so upset he was way off balance and kind of gasped for air a bit. I was very scared he was going to cause himself a stroke over nothing. Does anyone know how long before this part passes? Will it?
hi Kristine- i think my sah & coil was similar-i also get angry but almost always provoked by others- kids etc. Everything is magnafied for me -ive gotten so mad i thought i was going to have a heart attack it was beating so fast & hard- scary-so i try my hardest not to get upset-i guess the coils are doing there job. try to reduce anything that might provoke him,you may have to make adjustments,his anger fit also scared him i bet so hopin &prayin for peace & tranquility for all of us-we are not alone I suspect. thank you for sharing -I'm going to recommit to never get that angry again. I think it will get better-sometimes we have to hit the valley before we can ascend and improve .Please be as patient as possible since we are still learning to cope, a therapist told me i could laugh or cry for no reason but lets think positive- hope this helps a little, my heart goes out to you -it must be very difficult
thank you Ron. Yes your sah and coil is similar. I appreciate your honesty. We have discussed this with his speech thearapist and gave us some very good ideas on what to do next time to get through the anger before it gets so bad. I do realize it is the injury mostly and I just need to be patient and understanding.sometimes it’s so nice I can come here and vent! Thanks and God bless.
youre very welcome Kristine-thanks for your reply- so happy your getting help thru the speech therapist-they are very good at their vocation, God bless you & yours
My husbands also went thru anger after his 1st surgery I think a lot of it was just he couldn't do things the same way he did before. We struggled with it for over a year or so because he was reluctant to talk to his Dr about it. After urging him for over a year he spoke to the Dr and he told us it is very common with anyone who has had a brain injury and he prescribed him an anti-anxiety medication. He has now been on that for the last several months and is doing 100% better.
Dont forget that this is a very emotional journey as well as a big trauma physically. It is still early days for him.I get short tempered with my husband because I have alot of emotional things to reconcile and I feel he expects to much of me. Not only that but if he reads research he will know that he is still in the risk period of 5 months. This is frightening because until the 6 month angio no one can tell him that the op was a success and that there are no complications. Its a hard journey and at the end most of us have to re-evaluate our lives because having had this experience they will never be the same. This is not an easy journey Kristine. The brain takes its own time to heal. Maybe arrange for him to see a therapist. This way he can talk about his feelings without you being involved. Just allow him to rest and recover without and pressure or upset.
Thank you Megan. He does have an angiogram scheduled on Tuesday Aug 14 so I told my husband we will talk with the Dr about this. Had another episode last night. He said he feels it coming but just can’t stop it. Hopefully the Dr can help us right away. Glad you and your husband got some help. Hugs
Thank you Jennifer. I do stay calm and try to talk him down but sometimes it just makes it worse. He says so many hurtful things and I know he doesn’t mean to. I can see a different person take over when he gets this mad. He doesn’t like it when I bring these things up to his speech therapist and I know he won’t go to any other kind. I will just be patient and wait for my husband to reemerge from the monster he turns into and hold him and tell him I understand and love him when he sobs afterwards. I know it’s the TBI and I hope I am doing the right thing by just leaving him alone and allowing him to calm down on his terms. I don’t know what else to do. Hugs:)
Sounds like your doing everything you can for him right now. I also learned that the more I tried to "help" my husband when he got very upset the worse the situation became. He often just needed time to himself to calm down and would often come back and feel terrible about the things he had said and apologize. I just gave him his time and when he was ready to talk I reassured him that I understood and it was part of his healing. Best advice I can give is try not to take anything he says personally because I had a hard time with that at first my feelings were so hurt but I came to realize that he just couldnt control it. Hope the dr. can help him I know its so hard on both parties involved. Make sure you also have a good support system so that you have someone to talk too :)