Oh... boy....here I am not feeling as brave this time as I was 6 months after my coiling. Anxious!
Back then, I think I was actually excited for my 6 mo angio ... to get verification that all is well so that I could move on (though do you ever really "move on"?).
But this time, with more recent stabbing pains in my rt temple and right eye (that's where my annie is), and head/facial cramping sensations...I can't help but think something has changed. And I think with little one at home, I tend to worry more and more about not being able to enjoy time with him in the same way if something does happen. I know I totally won the lottery catching my annie bleed when I did, but I guess a part of me worries that my luck could run out at any moment.
I have been through the procedure before; common sense tells me that everything will likely be fine, whatever happens. But I just feel like my courage is on back order....waiting for it to get here!! LOL! Can someone please overnight it my way? ha
I’m feeling the same way toward my six month scan coming up this week. We were lucky to catch my bleed in time. But I am also terrified that my luck is bound to run out and irrationally imagine waking up to a toddler running into the room instead of my happy 6 month old.
But there is strength in that fear. You feel it too behind the superficial anxiety. You will be fine because you need to be fine. I knew motherhood would change things for me. I was surprised that my aneurysm did as well. Beyond everything else it has made my stubbornness a strength.
I am trying hard to have courage. It will all be ok. Sending you positive thoughts.
Why are you having an angiogram? Was it coiling? Not one of my doctors has suggested an angiogram for me and it’s been almost three years. I had mine clipped.
Hi Cindy, I felt exactly the same way at your stage of recovery before my two year angio. I worked myself into such a state thinking that my luck could not continue. I am 3.5 years post coiling of two ruptured aneurysms and I have been left with chronic fatigue, chronic head pain and spinal arachnoiditis - however I am a battler and I somehow still hold down a full time job, although I sleep most of the other hours of the day!
I made the mistake of building myself up every year to celebrating the anniversary as my ‘extra bonus years’ I had survived but found out it screwed my head up reliving the upset every year so I do my best to actually forget about everything to do with this episode of my life and just deal with my fatigue and pain on a daily basis with as much self care as I can. Happy to answer any questions you have, good luck with your angio. Stay positive! X
I was coiled in March 2012 for a bleeding annie. I had a 6 mo follow-up angio, and this time 2 years. I think if all looks good, it then jumps to a 5 year follow-up. From what I understand, clipping is a more permanent solution, but wasn't the best for me given the location on my ophthalmic artery. Maybe that's why no follow-up for you yet. Sometimes the coils can compact and require more be added. I hope you have been doing well. Lovely photo, by the way. Are you expecting again? :)
Thank you Kimmy, for your reply and encouragement...and for sharing that you felt similarly. I am so sorry you suffer with chronic fatique, pain and spinal issues...but am so pleased to hear of your success with your job, etc. Your words are wise.... try not to relive the past and just take and enjoy life as it now is. I feel that in time, I may be able to move forward more confidently with the "new normal" ... the sharp stabs, etc. do still get me a little anxious at times. This test will be a good hurdle to cross and to move forward with even more confidence I think once I get the "all-clear." Wishing you all the best in your continued recovery. Thank you for taking the time to make the encouraging post.
No I'm not pregnant that is an old picture from when I was pregnant with my son (my second child). They told me no follow up for 5 years but I have had imaging done before I was pregnant.
Thank you, Nichole. I read your story and wow, you are so incredibly blessed how things played out. Thank goodness you got the swift care you did when you did.
I hear you on the fear about waking up to a grown toddler. Maybe it's the planner in me; I like to think practically and consider possible scenarios for preparedness (to my detriment often resulting in fear) and at times my visions also sometimes go to waking from the angio to not very likely scenarios. I keep telling myself that the hospital does tons of these tests routinely without a hitch. And if they find I need to be recoiled, then good...they caught in time so it can be fixed before the unthinkable could happen. You're right. I love what you said: we will be fine because we need to be fine. My grandfather would say "what is, is". Whatever is, things will work out.
Our strength has carried us a long way...and will carry us through this week's procedures. I am actually starting to feel like my courage in terms of my angio has perhaps been simmering softly underneath the fear all along (strength in the fear, as you said), quietly and independently growing and building in strength...and now thanks to everyone's encouraging posts, is starting to rise and soon hopefully over-shadow the fear in time for my procedure. I am feeling more ready this morning. I hope you are feeling more prepared and ready for your glowing report too. I will be thinking of you. Sending positive thoughts ad a prayer your way.
Cindy, wish I could overnight courage to you. But I will send it through the web :) You will be in my thoughts and prayers tomorrow. I still have the stabbing sharp pains too and I am hoping that it is still somehow related to healing even though it has been two years since my coiling. I understand how hard it is to not worry about every twinge of pain we feel in our heads. I pray that everything goes well tomorrow and you receive good news. Please keep us posted as to how it goes.
Thank you everyone. In recovery, went well. Went well. Possible slight change to my coiling… Interventional radiologist needs to consult with my neurosurgeon. Maybe another angio in 2 yrs to closely watch.