Advice needed please

Support
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Hi
Well hes not 100% healthy. He has diabetes and kidney problems. Mobility issues due to contracting sepsis on a routine hip replacement operation and at risk of getting sepsis again. Besides the risks of stroke, brain damage etc if he does have it coiled.

My husband has been suffering with more headaches than usual over the last few weeks but he had a urine infection so i guess that didnt help. Hes not having as many headaches now hes over the infection but the consultant has sent him for another MRI earlier just to see if it was causing the headaches. We are awaiting the results to determine if the aneurysm has grown.

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There are plenty of risks with coiling that shouldn’t be ignored. I commend your consult for wanting to try to get to the bottom of things, sounds like a keeper. You’ve been through a lot together, hang in there. Please let us know what the new MRI says.

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Hey Elaine,
Headaches are notoriously difficult to align with a cause, some would say damn near impossible to definitively align. The more ‘contributing factors’ involved the more complex/difficult that alignment becomes. Prior to my own neuro journey, I had headaches, I also had this odd fluttering in my chest, which I didn’t really think much about. It wasn’t painful just odd. But the headaches, awful.

I found this Dr, he wanted to investigate the cause of the ongoing headaches. He trialled me on all sorts of meds uppers and downers, heart meds, migraine meds, epilepsy meds and the psych meds of every colour and creed. The stuff that really messes with the mind. Just YUCK. Whilst I was on the heart meds, no fluttering. So I knew something was wrong. Saw a cardiologist and found I have an irregular heartbeat. Medications manage it all now fairly well. But the headaches, they persisted. I’d tried all sorts of treatments, remedies and theories to ultimately cure, or at the least manage better and I think that’s about as good as I’m going to get, to be able to manage better. I’ve been on this neurosurgical journey almost 25yrs and it’s still a balancing act today.

Why am I saying all of this? A few weeks ago I recieved a call from the Neurology Dept at the state hospital informing me they’d found an ‘issue’ with my latest scan. I explained that I’d had been reporting symptoms for quite sometime, like years. “Ohh” he said ‘but you’ve got a heart issue… …it’s probably just that…’ and that may explain 1 symptom but when you add up the other odd symptoms, somethings not right. I was called into the hospital and have started a new round of tests and scans last week. They’ll compare my scans with the last scan, but if there’s no change, there will be no answer. And if there is a change… …that could mean more surgery, I certainly don’t like the sound of that either.

I have found I have to manage the best way I can for me. I have learnt not to go to these appointments with the expectation of getting answers. If I get answers, that’s a bonus, but having expectations only to be sadly let down, can really give your self esteem a battering. For me it’s all about management. Medication management, activity management, trigger management, rest management, etc and they all have to be balanced for the ‘Now’ and how I am right now.

Best of luck with the appointment and I hope you can find the answers you seek.

Merl from the Modsupport Team

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Today we went out to the coast for a drive and lunch. Had a lovely day until journey home when he tried to overtake a wide vehicle on a narrow country lane. I said not to o/take and he blew up at me and called me a f***** a*******!!! This is out of character for him but ive noticed his anger issues getting worse. Is this anything to do with the aneurysm?

Needless to say im not talking to him. What he said was unforgiveable!

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Who knows. It could be or it could not be. Certainly, if people have damage to certain parts of their brain, it can affect their “filter” or anger issues.

It sounds like a difficult time. Lots of love to both of you from me.

Richard

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I read an article recently stating one can suffer from anger, anxiety and emotional issues after a brain aneurysm.

Hopefully this is the case and not just crankiness.

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Thanks Richard

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Hello! We all handle life issues in our own way. I am dealing with my pending time prior to surgery with white gloves as I want to avoid any delays and zi was to be as healthy ad I can be. Others may go about life as normal, that just not me. It doesn’t make one person’s handling of the situation wrong and another right. We all have our own reasons and thoughts why we are handling our health issue in our own way too.
Best wishes

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Well hes not doing himself any favours taking it out on me! I will not (and shouldnt have) to take verbal abuse! Im his wife and carer… . I do most things for him and have always looked out for him. More fool me!

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@Gemini30

So the only real parallel I’ve got to share with you is when my father-in-law was going noticeably downhill with dementia. In perhaps a similar way to your husband, he would be short tempered with those around him taking care of him, yet he was over 90 years old and hadn’t been like that with his family before.

We ascribed these negative outbursts as pertaining to his dementia. He would have other occasions when he was charm personified and these negative outbursts were quite unusual.

I think it’s possible that your husband is going through something similar. If so, I wouldn’t characterise such an outburst as “him” talking but rather his disease talking. It’s impossible to say from here whether I’m guessing right or wrong but you might be able to give him a bit more credit: you’ll need to judge the extent to which it was the real man behind the comment or possibly something else.

I do think this can be part of the challenge of dealing with someone with something not quite right in their head.

Let me know how you get on.

Best wishes,

Richard

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Well whether its “him” or the disease hes putting me, himself and others at risk when hes driving! Ive confiscated his car keys. This is not the first outburst on the road so im making it the last! If hes not right in the head he shouldn’t be driving. Im also going to see what our GP says about this. I’m really not impressed after todays antics!

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You’re right to think about the driving! I was more worried about the emotional effect on you! :roll_eyes:

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I immediately thought of this while reading her post. Urinary tract infections and kidney issues contribute to and/or trigger violent outbursts/dementia. Successful treatment of these issues may bring him back to his norm. I hope its just temporary.

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Oh dont worry about me. He obviously doesnt! Im just the mug that cares for him…or did!

Goodnight thanks for listening.

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Hes over the urine infection now. No longer on antibiotics. Just has these outbursts while driving…road rage. Happens often. Cancelled our holiday as im not sharing a car with him!

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Update! Just to let everyone know that hubbys MRI scan which he had 2wks ago shows the aneurysm at exactly the same size it was when found last August. So all the headaches hes had lately are unrelated (so the GP says). However, hubby has now just started with another urine infection but caught it quickly so has started on antibiotics yet again.

The Neuro Consultant has said exactly the same…6% chance of it rupturing in his lifetime or 5% of treatment causing risks such as stroke or bleeding and 1% risk to life.
Consultant will continue to do yearly scans and any change will see hubby back in clinic.

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That’s good news on the aneurysm! As for his road rage, I do wonder if @Judi was correct in her suggestion, also wonder if all the migraines may have caused dementia as @DickD mentioned, so I took to searching and found this Migraine and the risk of dementia: a meta-analysis and systematic review - PubMed

You may want to ask his doctor to test him. You’re correct in he shouldn’t be verbalizing in such a hurtful way. However, if he has dementia, he may not be able to control it. I would suggest you find a therapist to help you through all his changing. BH’s Granny had brain surgery back in 1960 and eventually developed either Alzheimer’s or Dementia, most times she was embarrassingly funny like thinking I was her husband and wanted me to hop in bed with her. But there were times she would be explosively verbally cruel which was t like her at all. The family thought it was just the metal plate in her head that heated up which made her different but it kept going on into winter and they finally took her to the doctor and had her tested.

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Thanks for your reply. I would have to speak to hubbys doctor on my own as I can’t see him accompanying me if he knows hes being tested for dementia! Tbh i will be lucky to even get a doctors appointment. Our surgery are hopeless!
Ive been trying to speak to a therapist for weeks. She rang me when i was at work. She only works Mon, Tues and a Weds am. I work Mon and Tues. I left her a message to ask if she can ring me on Weds but so far she hasnt.
Ive just had Covid for the second time so not up to chasing people up at the moment. Hubby didnt get covid this time thankfully. Im just very weary and have a burning sensation im my lung area/back. Im negative now and back to work tomorrow :unamused:

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You certainly have had some trials and tribulations. Glad you’re back to going to work! And it’s good you’re trying to see a therapist, hopefully she will ring you up on Wednesday. You might want to just call the doctor when you’re able rather than have an appointment. You may need to speak to someone under him, I’ve found that the office manager or a RN, NP or PA to be very helpful.

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My dad is on dialysis and we have found that kidney failure does very strange things that are out of the norm. Also I am finding out that the aneurysm has had a lot of mental effects on me. I definitely agree that something like a therapist for you can help. My mother was told to see one and have my dad see a different one when he was diagnosed with his kidneys failing. There is more to that story.
It is good you are able to work and you guys can have some time away from each other. Also it is good knowing what the conditions maybe and the reactions to things like what if the aneurysm does rupture. I didn’t know I had an aneurysm until mine ruptured. But now I know how that felt and know warning signs of things like stroke and know risks
Good luck. It’s tough when people tell you to live your life when it’s different after all these years. But you have to live and do what you can and now realize how fast things can change

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