"a letter from your brain"

Brain Aneurysm Foundation Brain Aneurysm Resources
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Letter%20from%20your%20Brain.docx

I haven't found a way to attach a "Word" document & wanted to share this article I received from my first B.A.F. Support Group meeting in Boston a couple of years ago. Reading this truly helped me thru my healing process & my Hopes are that it will help you too....Happy Reading & Enjoy!

"A LETTER FROM YOUR BRAIN"

Hello,

I'm glad to see that you are awake! This is your brain talking. I had to find some way to communicate with you. I feel like I barely survived WWIII and am still not quite all in one piece. That's why I need you. I need you to take care of me. As time passes and you and I feel better and better, people, even doctors, will tell you that we are fine, "it's time to get on with life." That sounds good to me and probably even better to you. But before you go rushing back out into that big wide world, I need you to listen to me, really listen. Don't shut me out. Don't tune me out. When I'm getting into trouble I'll need your help more than I ever have before.

I know that you want to believe that we are going to be the same. I'll do my best to make that happen. The problem is that too many people in our situation get impatient and try to rush the healing process; or when their brains can't fully recover they deny it and, instead of adapting, they force their brains to function in ways they are no longer able too. Some people even push their brains until they seize, and worse... I'm scared. I'm afraid that you will do that to me. If you don't accept me I am lost. We both will be lost.

How can I tell you how much I need you now? I need you to accept me as I am today... not for what I used to be, or what I might be in the future. So many people are so busy looking at what their brains used to do, as if past accomplishments were a magical yardstick to measure present success or failures, that they fail to see how far their brains have come. It's as if here is shame, or guilt, in being injured. Silly, huh?

Please don't be embarrassed or feel guilt, or shame, because of me. We are okay. We have made it this far. If you work with me we can make it even further. I can't say how far. I won't make any false promises. I can only promise you this, that I will do my best.

What I need you to do is this: because neither of us knows how badly I've been hurt (things are still a little foggy for me), or how much I will recover, or how quickly, please go s-l-o-w-l-y when you start back trying to resume your life. If I give you a headache, or make you sick to your stomach, or make you unusually irritable, or confused, or disoriented, or afraid, or make you feel that you are overdoing it, I'm trying to get your attention in the only way I can. Stop and listen to me.

I get exhausted easily since being hurt, and cannot succeed when overworked. I want to succeed as much as you do. I want to be as well as I can be, but I need to do it at a different pace than I could before I got hurt. Help me to help us by paying attention and heeding the messages I send to you.

I will do my part to do my very best to get us back on our feet. I am a little worried though that if I am not exactly the same... you will reject me and may even want to kill us. Other people have wanted to kill their brains, and some people have succeeded. I don't want to die, and I don't want you to die.

I want us to live, and breathe and be, even if being is not the same as it was. Different may be better. It may be harder too, but I don't want you to give up. Don't give up on me. Don't give up on yourself. Our time here isn't through yet. There are things that I want to do and I want to try, even if trying has to be done in a different way. It isn't easy. I have to work very hard, much harder, and I know that you do too. I see people scoff, and misunderstand. I don't care. What I do care about is that you understand how hard I am working and how much I want to be as good as I can be, but I need you to take good care of us, as well as you can do that.

Don't be ashamed of me. We are alive. We are still here. I want the chance to try to show you what we are made of. I want to show you the things that are really important in life. We have been given another chance to be better, to learn what is really important. When it is finally time for our final exit I would like to look back and feel good about what we made of us and out of everything that made up our life, including this injury. I cannot do it without you. I cannot do it if you hate me for the way being injured has affected me and our life together. Please try not to be bitter in grief. That would crush me.

Please don't reject me. There is little I can do without you, without your determination to not give up. Take good care of us and of yourself. I need you very much, especially now.

Love,

Your Wounded Brain

©1996 Stephanie St. Claire … May be reprinted for personal, not for profit use

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Thanks for sharing this...it has been out / around a number of times...and, the memory is always good and we have so many new members...

Pat

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I figured just that Pat as I got this piece at one of my very first B.A.F. support group meetings. It's such a great, well-written article that puts the long-term healing process into such a great perspective and I, in addition to my family & friends, got so much out of this and it truly helped us all understand what to expect once this beast torpedoed into my life. Probably is good to route every 6 months or so for new members who are just starting their way thru the healing journey.

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Oh I almost missed this and sure do need the reminder not to push so hard. Thanks for sharing!

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So glad you didn't miss this Harlylena .... iI feel that it's so important to not push yourself too hard and try to rush thru the healing process -- Just try to keep things at "your" Pace and listen to the messages your body sends to you. Hang in there and Believe that this all does get better, with time and patience :)!

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Thank you, I hadn't seen this. I am very very guilty of pushing myself beyond the limit.

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Thank you for sharing...this comes up every so many months and is a good letter for all of us to read...wishing you well ~ Colleen

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Thanks, Michele, we had a recent request for this post, so I am leaving a comment to bring it back to the top.

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Every new member should read this. I keep a copy with me to reread

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Hello Ladies and agree with the 3 of you :))! I did just edit this discussion and also attached the word document, that shows up as a link at the top of the discussion". I'm thinking that some may prefer to download the Microsoft Word document to their computer for easy access!

Hope everyone is HAPPY & HEALTHY!

Michele

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Thanks so much for posting this. I love, love, love this! I was just thinking I wasn't moving along with my recovery fast enough since I feel almost normal. I guess that's the key - almost. I need to stop thinking normal was the way I used to be. Normal is the way I am now. I know I need to keep taking care of myself no matter how much I've come along. I won't ever give up but will have to work on my patience. Thanks for the reminder! It couldn't have come to me at a better time.

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Hi Wendy! The way I've described this to my family & friends is that this type of Brain Injury really does changes a person from the Inside Out and this is my "New Normal" so we all best like it cuz the old Michele left on a Permanent Vacation and is not coming back :)! And You are so right, taking care of yourself and embracing your New Normal is what is most important for YOU and Hope your ongoing recovery goes well for you!

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Colleen used to post this every few months. It's a message that most of us need to hear occasionally.

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First time reading it. Excellent and it comes in handy to hear this message from time to time. Thank you!

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Fantasic… .

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Thank you so much for posting this! I rarely cry anymore, and this brought me to tears. My BA was in 2010, and there were no local support groups or online groups I could find until now. I was always an overachiever, and working hard to support my kids as a single mom when my BA occurred. I insisted on going back to work a month after, in denial about the impact on my brain, and kept working for another year before my body made it clear I couldn't do it anymore. Reactions from colleagues have been mixed, so grateful for the supportive friends and family, but the doubters have been really hard for me. I actually had a former colleague (who I used to really like & respect) ask me if I was practicing solo now (in other words, was I committing disability fraud by working in secret)! Being a little slow, I just said no, I'm not able to do that, but his meaning sunk in later. It still shocks me that people I used to think were good people, can be so ugly and cynical, even when they know what happened to me. My lifelong tendency to ignore my own limitations and work hard to disprove them has been a real obstacle to accepting my real limits, and the skeptics have made it harder. I really appreciate this post because it reminds me I'm not alone.

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That's right Marie; YOU are never alone in this --- You've got thousands of us right here waiting to support you thru whatever it is you may be struggling with or it may just be something you want to celebrate with us :))! I am Grateful for all the wonderful new supportive friends, I now call my extended family, thru this Journey of mine :)! /Michele

MarieCalifornia said:

Thank you so much for posting this! I rarely cry anymore, and this brought me to tears. My BA was in 2010, and there were no local support groups or online groups I could find until now. I was always an overachiever, and working hard to support my kids as a single mom when my BA occurred. I insisted on going back to work a month after, in denial about the impact on my brain, and kept working for another year before my body made it clear I couldn't do it anymore. Reactions from colleagues have been mixed, so grateful for the supportive friends and family, but the doubters have been really hard for me. I actually had a former colleague (who I used to really like & respect) ask me if I was practicing solo now (in other words, was I committing disability fraud by working in secret)! Being a little slow, I just said no, I'm not able to do that, but his meaning sunk in later. It still shocks me that people I used to think were good people, can be so ugly and cynical, even when they know what happened to me. My lifelong tendency to ignore my own limitations and work hard to disprove them has been a real obstacle to accepting my real limits, and the skeptics have made it harder. I really appreciate this post because it reminds me I'm not alone.

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This is the single biggest thing that I read to get me through my ruptured aneurysm. I still, over 5 years later carry this in my daytimer to remind me that its ok!

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