Hi.
I was diagnosed with a 3mm MCA bifurcation annie a month ago. I see a neurosurgery consultant tomorrow to discuss it all and I can’t think about anything else. I am scared that they won’t give me surgery due to the size but scared if I do have surgery. I just want it gone. I feel like I’m not coping and no one seems to understand x
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Hey MrsPink,
Ohh man, do I know that fear? It can be huge, massive, overwhelming etc.
My best advise, go see the consultant tomorrow and see what they say first. Then look at the next steps from there. Nobody likes the idea of surgery, but in all honesty if the surgeon recommends it, do it. If he doesn’t recommend it, you have a couple of options. First option is to follow his advice and wait or the second option would be to get another opinion.
I’ve had a bit of experience with neurosurgery and it’s scary as all hell. The idea of someone messing with that part that makes me ‘me’ took me a while to come to terms with. Publically I joked about it, but internally it was a battle. Others may never understand, I’ve given up trying to explain it to some people because I’m sick and tired of the judgement. Most of them have no right to judge because they have never been in this situation and if anybody tells you this is easy that is a sure sign that they’ve never been here.
Please know that we understand and not from a book. We understand from experience, come speak to us.
I wish you the very best of luck with your consult tomorrow and please do come and tell us how it goes, be that good or bad.
Merl from Moderator Support
Hello,
Listen to what they have to say but also be firm about what you want, what your worries are and any questions you have. I would make a list of what you want to ask so you don’t forget anything. Also, I know surgery is scary, but it’s much better to have surgery before a rupture occurs. The recovery time isn’t nearly as long and drastic.
Thank you both for replying. It means so much to hear from people who genuinely understand. I get made to feel like a drama queen by most people in my life so I find it hard to open up. Everyone just keeps saying “stay strong” and I’m thinking ‘oh is that what I’m meant to do? Problem solved!’ I guess i just want to feel in control over what is decided. I can’t live with this thing in my head, I will lose the plot x
hello MrsPink, i can really relate and understand your fear aswell. im 36 years old and they found my aneurysm exactly 2 month ago. mine was 10mm big (12mm as it turned out in the surgery) so there was no question that i have to take care of it surgically. first doctor (a neurosurgeon) said i need an open brain surgery so for 2 weeks i felt like its my death sentence. i couldnt imagine it and i read everything there is and tried to figure out how to handle it. everyone around me told me to think positive and to be strong and it scared me even more (what if i dont think positive? does that mean that ill die?)… anyway, to me knowledge is the key. so i googled and wrote and read here on the support site and i contacted someone here with experience in germany and i saw 3 more doctors and then it got clearer. neurosurgeons will recommend craniotomy, neuroradiologist most likely recommend the endovascular procedure, the coiling. i was lucky (and unlucky at the same time ;)) that my anny was a good candidate for both procedures so i was stressed out like crazy making the “right” decission but at the end i just realised that i could handle the thought of the coiling but not of open brain surgery so i got coiled a little over 2 weeks ago. i will never know if it was the “right” decission and at the end i believe i would ve also survived the open brain surgery becuase most important was to take care of it and both options will save my life…
what i can tell you is that it is very very scary and in those past 8 weeks there were twice about half an hour where i didnt think about my aneurysm, surgery, death, rupture, strokes, etc. all the rest of those past 8 weeks were only thought about my anny. it took over everything. BUT i also realised that i learned to listen to myself and that the only thing that helped me was to stay calm and ACCEPT my fear and my aneurysm. so to try to stay calm. take one step after the other. see a neuroradiologist and see a neurosurgeon, ask their opinions and all your questions. take it step by step and try only to worry about the next step and not the whole lot, its really too much. and remember, we’re the lucky ones, found before it ruptured and no bleed. i know it doesnt really help but maybe try to find strenghts in that though… its the beginning of a new journey and it good youre dealing with it, eventhough its scary!
i wish you lots of love and strenghts and breathe deeply and take one step after the other. youll get there, where you need to be. all the best, olivia