My father's Subarachnoid hemorrhage journey

Recovery Story

My father (57) had an ACOM Aneurysm rupture in the month of June 2021. It was a grade 4 Subarachnoid Hemorrhage. Luckily he had no Vassospasms, his stay in the hospital was marked by Violent fits of rage, fist banging and confusion. He used to imagine being in a different city, used to confabulate and could not really remember events of the immediate past (short term memory). The thing to mark about him was that he was extremely agitated, shouting and angry. The doctors had to increase his dosage of Kepra just to calm him down. He was also extremely disinhibited which resulted in sexually colored remarks being uttered by him when he was in the ICU. He also suffered from bladder incontinence throughout his stay in the hospital.

After his release from the ICU (12th day) , his disinhibition decreased but changed targets. It was no more sexual disinhibition but disinhibition in saying things which are generally private to one’s family to unknown people. He would generally talk to the nurses, doctors and ward officials about me, as to how I was an unworthy and thankless son (our relationship had been great before the rupture and I did not expect this to come out). He would also discuss as to how he viewed his wife (my mom) as a nuisance creator with the nurses, doctors and ward members. These thing used to pierce my mom a lot since she was the primary caregiver for my father.

He continued to stay in the hospital till the 22nd day. After his release, his confabulations saw an explosion. He would start talking as to how a few moments prior, he saw a doppelganger of mine, and therefore concluded that he had two sons (I am the only son). This continued for a while (3 weeks post release to be exact). All the while, he underwent Physical rehabilitation therapy in the OPD. These confabulations were mostly intense during early morning (after he woke up), in the afternoon just before he went to sleep and at mid night when he used to go to sleep. A general observation was that his confabulations increased when he grew tired.

Post 3 weeks, his confabulations decreased dramatically but we ended up noticing major personality changes. He started being unconcerned towards his wife and child and did not generally bother talking to us. He had always been a family guy, so this was kind of weird to us. He grew close to his mother, his brothers (who generally took advantage of him and maintained a pure one sided relationship) and his fights with us became frequent on minor issues. It was then we realized, that his personality change had ended up creating a pathological disgust against me and my mother. He blamed us for being the reason as to why he was not close to his brothers and mother.

While I thought that the ceasing of confabulations would be the end point of the roller coaster ride. I have come to realize that personality cunages can literally change a person’s approach towards you.

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@Sadforlife, I’m saddened that your father has had such drastic personality changes. It must be terribly difficult for both you and your mother. Part of your description reminded me of something called Sundowner’s Syndrome, which usually affects people with Alzheimer’s, though I’ve seen it in stroke patients. I’ve found an article which suggests different ways of helping the person afflicted though I’ve never tried any of them How Dementia Caregivers Can Soothe Sundown Syndrome

It is still very early for your father’s recovery. Recovery has to be thought of in years and not days, weeks or months for many of us. If you and your mother need a break from him see if there’s some type of Adult respite in your area. We have something called Adult Life Program where people (patients) can go from 0800 to 1700 Monday thru Friday. Though it’s based on ability to pay, for our county, it never goes above $35/week. They even have vans to provide transportation. We have a neighbor that’s picked up around 0730. Just noticed it’s back open as the pandemic shut them down for over a year. Our local Hospice also does respite care for many stroke patients, it’s a first come basis as they have to have enough beds for those who are terminally ill. I hope his doctors have continued his therapy at home as it’s very important it’s not stopped until he can learn to do all the tasks by himself.

This may sound harsh, but you and your mother may have to omit him from accessing any funds if he is giving things to his siblings. Here in the States, it’s a competency hearing where you will need a doctor saying he is not competent to make decisions for himself. This is not something to be taken lightly and there may be alternatives. We learned of this when speaking to our attorney after I tipped our electrician a lot of money. Our attorney told me I cannot tip without BH’s approval. That was just 5-6 years ago when my parents were still alive and I was spending money a lot which was not like my normally frugal self. So besides tipping, I am not allowed to spend any money without asking first. Our attorney was very stern in this as I have not forgotten😂

I cannot guarantee that your father will recover his previous personality. Hopefully it will improve enough that he’s no longer mean to either of you. Be patient, be kind to each other and take a break from the caregiving, even if it’s just an hour or two each day.

All the best,
Moltroub

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I am sorry to hear this has happened to your father and can only imagine the effect this has had on you and your mother. As Moltroub mentioned it really is very early in the recovery process though, I do hope that time and further recovery improve the situation for all of you.