My dad has a brain aneurysm 6mm in the center of his brain

My dad was diagnosed a few years back with a brain aneurysm in the middle of his brain. It was 5mm and they have been doing MRAs at Mount Sinai in NY to monitor it. This year he went and found out it grew 1mm, so now it is at 6mm. It kind of bulges at only one side. It’s not round. The doctors want to do an angiogram… and put a stent only if needed. I’m a nervous wreck! I’m a recently divorced single mom, who has two little boys, who’s grandfather is their world. I get very little support from my ex, and my dad is my sole support… and has been helping me through. I love my father so much! We live with him. He is my rock. But most of all… (I don’t care how dumb I sound for how old I am) he’s my daddy! I would do anything I could do to help him. I’m trying to stay strong for him and my boys, but I’m quietly falling apart. August he will be 75. The angiogram is June 26th. I have no idea what to expect. I’m so scared. Anyone with any advice… please let me know.

Hey Danielle,
The best way to look at it is that at least they found it before it ruptured. Being that he is your ‘Daddy’ and your primary support, your care and concern is highly understandable and commendable. I don’t want to come across as all clinical but the reality of the situation is that there is very little to nothing you, personally, can do. It is all up to the medicos from here. They have a plan and will proceed with that as of 26th of June, there really is no use in going over all the ‘what if’s…?’ but I know that we all do it, but going over and over those ‘what if’s…?’ only adds to the stresses.
The next step is the angio and from there a decision will be made whether to proceed with the stent and as clinical as it may sound this is a step by step process, travelling to far ahead of yourself is only going to add to your stress, so please try to take it all one step at a time. I may make that sound easy, but we all know it is not. Keeping things as calm as possible can only help.

Merl from the Moderator Support Team

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Merl,

Thank you for your response. I just hope that he is okay. I am trying to be as supportive to him that I can without just breaking down. Your clinical statements are understandable, as I work in a hospital, just as a pharmacy technician and see people lose their loved ones daily. I’m just so sad and wish I had someone here to talk to but, as my dad always says your truly lucky if you leave this world with 1 true friend. I just don’t want to lose mine. I just hope he makes it through this. I have no idea on what the percentages are… as my dad would lie to me not to make me have a meltdown… to him or others in similar situations making it through this. I wasn’t able to make it to the doctor with him because I had had surgery 2 days prior myself. And now I might not even be able to go with him the day of. I’m so sad. I really love my dad so much. Thanks for writing me back.

Danielle

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Hi Danielle. I know exactly what you are feeling. The only difference is I have the aneurysm myself. Oddly enough, I had to be the strong one for my family, especially my parents. I just want to provide reassurance that it is COMPLETELY normal to have all of these feelings. We often drift to the what ifs and worse case scenarios in times like these. When you get down in those pits, just pull yourself away for a bit and look at what you have in front of you- your boys and father. If you constantly worry about the negative, it will eat you alive, believe me. You can’t totally erase those thoughts from your head, but what you can do is start adding more positive thoughts. Start filling your mind with the happy thoughts and live in the moment. Despite working in the medical field (I am a physician assistant), I was terrified going in to have my angiogram! Just trust your father’s doctor, this is what they do on a daily basis and each patient they touch is valuable. It is a minimally invasive procedure with very good statistical outcomes. I couldn’t even tell where they entered on my groin during my first angiogram! My second one, which was a week later, only required 2 small stitches in my groin area. Again, hardly a dot! Most doctors will typically treat during the initial angiogram due to the fact that it is that simple of a procedure, but I had different factors that came into play that prolonged my treatment. My pipeline placed May 14, 2018 and I am doing great. Now I am not going to lie, I deal with headaches and the blood thinners make me nauseous, but I am thankful that I am alive and well! Count your blessings, it could have ruptured which is way more devastating. They found the aneurysm in your father and are able to treat it before the worst case scenario happens- something to be truly thankful for. Aneurysms are generally silent killers, so anyone who finds it before a rupture is a lucky one! What will also help to ease your anxiety is to call his neurosurgeon (you will most likely speak with his/her PA or NP), but ask all the questions you have and discuss all of your worries. They are very aware of how it impacts not only the patient, but they family as well, so you will see that they take the time to ease your anxiety. You will feel better once you hear facts that answer your worries. Keep you head up and stay positive. I pray that your father has a safe and successful procedure and that you are able to have some ease. May he also have a speedy recovery!

Many blessings,
Tulin

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Tulin,

Thank you for your insight, and emotional support. It was bery encouraging. I’m so glad you are okay, and I hope my father has a similar outcome. I’m trying to stay strong. I love my boys and father very much and wish I could go through it for them. I’m trying to think positive. He has a great doctor! I’m just trying to keep myself together because I don’t want to fall apart. I know o must be strong for us all. It’s just a little easier said than done. I’m just lucky to have my father in my life, he is usually the one always pulling me up and I want to do the same for him.

Thank you again for your encouragement. It is so helpful. You have know idea how much it means to me.

Sincerely,

Danielle

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