I Have thought about all of you - my tribe. And want you all to know that I care and relate to all of you. After a year I find myself going in and out of grief for the fearless warrior I was prior to my brain injury.
After fighting to get back my physical strength. I am happy to announce I gave my 30 day notice to the senior apartments I live in for just 5 months and I am moving out of Alaska to warmer climate and close to children and grand children.
And so in my mind a part of me visits a fear that comes uninvited when you make life changes after brain trauma. But I am trying to be present daily and making progress.
What fabulous news!! This sounds like a wonderful decision to move closer to your family, and be somewhere warmer. Seems to me like you are creating a beautiful rainbow after a very heavy storm!
[From my own very limited experience of Alaska, what impresses me the most about you Alaskans was not (necessarily) the temperature, but being in the land of the eternal sun âŚor dark! I do not think I have the strength to withstand that, so you have my admiration for sure!]
The good news is that no matter where you are, we are still part of your tribe, we are still just as acccessible, and we will be here for you. One of the beautiful things about the virtual world!
I am sure you will take the moving process at a sliow and steady pace, and not push yourself too much.
This is so important for all of us, Iâve created a new topic. You might want to change the title, I became a bit excited for you and you know what that can do to our brains. Just take deep breaths, moving can be very challenging. I am curious if you donât mind, will moving out of Alaska effect your tribal insurance?
When I moved back to Alaska last summer and knew something was wrong with my brain. I had only 2 suitcases and a carry on. I was a minimalist before it became popular. It was peaceful to not let material things be my identity.
And this month I will probably have the same amount when I depart. I am sitting in a borrowed camp chair and sleep on the only piece of furniture I own. An air mattress. So I will not have to over extend myself with my move soon. My new super power I realize. Not trying to fulfill myself with material things that donât matter.
I am concerned about the Native American health care in California. They let me down last winter while visiting my sons. And I have since paid the $800 ER bill on my own. But the added health problems that occurred along with the 3 aneurysms are in control. Yes I am concerned about prescription costs more than anything. So I am working on this prior to leaving so I can have a cushion of refills before I leave here.
And I have calmed with my ptsd behavior we unfortunately have to bear once we have survived. I remind myself I donât have to label myself and whatever amount of life I let myself have. I will be present and be my authentic self.
I will either find a place that takes Medicare for the cat scans required in the future. Or I can fly somewhere to have it done. I donât have to live fearful and not find joy as I live out my life. One day at a time. Thank you for your compassion!
Even as a child I did not realize I suffered from our long dark winters up here. So I am making my great escape before the snow starts to fly up here. Leaves are dropping and rain has started already and will turn to snow next month.
I live close to the ocean and mountains which holds weather and it more gray in the sky here. I can already feel the warmth of the sun in California . And the helpful vitamin D that comes with it.
I am working g on that book still. Depicting the struggles of our healthcare and lack of. Below is the start of my bookâŚ
The Price I Paid for âFreeâ Native Health Care.
It took her almost a year to find a purpose after surviving 3 Annies (brain aneurysms) that were clipped with craniotomies performed to save her. But imagine if you can an Alaskan Native woman born on an oil patch surviving yet a second near death incident, because of the negligence of her âFREE Native health care system that would not follow through with her cries for help. It took more emergency room visits. But instead of ending up another casualty she fought her way through their system to get to the surgeons in Seattle who saved her.
Most hospitals accept Medicaid especially the teaching hospitals. If youâre moving to Northern California my bet would be for UCSF, weâ e had several members over the years go there to be treated when theyâve had a choice.
So Cal has UCLA, USC and of course UCSD. I also understand Loma Linda has really upped their game with brain aneurysms. Yes, I was raised in So Cal, could you tell? I miss good Mexican foodâŚalso Tommyâs on Beverley and Rampart. Some friends and I loaded up in a car and drove from Chico to Tommyâs and back again just for a hamburgerâŚ
I truly get how we can become overwhelmed with material things. BH and I are still going through my parents things. I can only do a little at a time because of getting overwhelmed. Mom died in 2016. We found some spices that went out of date in the 60âsâŚbut we have to go through everything since she had extremely poor organizational skills. When I was young, we moved a good bit so we kept things at a minimum. Apparently when we all moved out, they started holding on to more.
Interestingly according to the Neuro psychologist I went to, I did not get PTSD, BH did. He chalked it up to the skills I taught clients who had it and suggested itâs just not in my makeup. Who knows? I believe my accident back when I was a teen sure resulted in me having PTSD for a good while. I did learn to deal with those triggers rather quickly in the scheme of life. But I didnât suffer the loss with my ruptured aneurysm as I did with the accident. Also had zero affect for a good three years after I ruptured which may have been a contributing factor.
My sonâs father was from San Diego. I do love the coast more. But they settled in this area for different reasons. And I donât know how I find old posts on here as you noticed. So my PTSD may stem from the medical neglect from the past also up here. I donât know but I have even mentioned to my sons that I am trying to move away from Alaska and the thought of running out of meds for the other lifetime ailment that meds are mandatory now. Without insurance it would be a $1000 a month to refill without insurance. Survival skills also are adaption ti poor childhood. But I work on releasing this reaction to life.
What a smile I had on my face as I was doing my walk. Why? It is gray and overcast here at 55 and where I will move which is Folsom is 80 and sunshine. Now for navigating this site..I will try to stay in here and nowâŚ
So now that I am online at site here those old timelines I have engaged in are in related topics. I donât have internet here and on small iPhone but look forward to opening up laptop to see this platform once I have WiFi.
Also my go to when I get to California is In and Out Burger. And I have put miles on a vehicle to enjoy one!
Itâs all good finding the old topics, it truly helps me. I became very overwhelmed a few years back trying to close them all. My oppositional self reared up and I came to a screeching halt. Then when my folks were dying I switched from using our computer at home and started with a tablet. I do very much enjoy sitting on the back patio with nature sounds and being on here, keeps me balanced.
I do believe we all have had some troubling times over our lifetime however long or short that may be. We also need to learn to address them to move on. Iâm happy to read youâre doing just that, good for you!
We did get an In and Out in the late â70âs in Rowland Heights on the way to Mt. SAC. My best friend and I were really into Carlâs Jr California Roast Beef Sandwiches and Del Tacoâs green bean burritos and fries. Carlâs Jr was the closest to where we lived and Del Taco was the closest to the college campus. I was very excited when I moved to NC and the city next door had a Del Taco right across from the J.C.! Unfortunately it has been replaced by Taco Bell. My nephews and nieces are very addicted to In and Out burgers! NC hasnât got one that I know of. The last time I was in Rowland Hts was before I ruptured and the huge population increase was mind boggling. Ranchers sold out and houses moved in. I didnât recognize the place. We used to have signs in English and Spanish but the Spanish and most of the English were changed to accommodate the very large Chinese population who had moved in.
Folsom has a lot of history to it besides the song I spent a summer working on a ranch right north of Sacramento in Elverta. The 99 had signs for tractors back then and having lights on because of it having a relatively flat geography, very difficult to gauge distance of oncoming vehicles without lights on when the land is flat. I do hope you enjoy being nearer to family. Perhaps many trips to the parks are in your future!
Good luck mlk! Anew adventure can be exciting but scary when recovering from trauma especially a brain trauma. remember to take one day at a time and as hard as it is to rely on others when youâve been independent for you adult life, you need to step back and let them help in their own way. and remember that if need be you can return to the senior apt if things change again. the only thing that is permanent is your persistence and determination to improve! enjoy the world!
Thank you. My sons and grandchildren are already there and I am familiar with their communities. So this is an advantage. If I returned here to senior housing l I would probably die within a year. Just sitting here looking out the window and fighting the 7 months of winter to just be out. I look forward to sharing my outings and what new trail I hiked or lovely colors I enjoyed while out. The stars I could see along with sunrises and sunsets. Not just gray skies or sidewalks that are usually not plowed so we can walk on them.
I have 3 weeks from today before I am in the warmth of the sun. In n Out is fresh fast food. Still canât smell nor taste but still hopeful. My son and I are on his way back to CA yesterday. He said the Thai ice tea taste good and I said I believe you. He said mom why do you order certain things. I said I still need nutrients. And he had to humor me of course with the ton of sugar in our tea!
I spent a summer working on a ranch right north of Sacramento in Elverta. The 99 had signs for tractors back then and having lights on because of it having a relatively flat geography, very difficult to gauge distance of oncoming vehicles without lights on when the land is flat. I do hope you enjoy being nearer to family. Perhaps many trips to the parks are in your future!