as you all know, I had surgery back in July. The first month or two was a little bit different for me as I was trying to get all my little brain cells back together. I think I’ve done pretty well I was in and out of work for the first six weeks but I had FMLA and I feel like they’re pushing me really hard since I got back. They’re not happy about my attendance, but it was under FMLA but they don’t care. And there’s just some really shady things going down there pointed at be and I don’t really know why. Part of it, is I find that sometimes things seem
different in my head nowthan they used to be. It’s not major. It’ a little more nuances. Sometimes I forget things, I’m hoping to get distracted, more often, sometimes processing takes me a little longer. Really that’s been the worst of it. I finally kind of got rid of the ongoing headaches knock on wood. But I keep getting physically sick and I think that that’s because I’m taking on too much and I think my little brain is on overload. If I could afford to take disability for six months, I would do it.
It’s hard to make people that have not had surgery. Kind of understand some of these things. Like I said, most of it is pretty tolerable, and I consider myself extremely lucky to not have had issues that I’ve had in the past. I’m trying really hard to learn to sit on my hands more and not react to things that I would normally react very hard at.
There’s a lot of family drama to which is putting a lot of pressure on me. So, if you take the brain business and the bipolar, it mixes into a very dangerous mix of craziness.
I am so grateful for all of yo and if there was anything I could do for any one of you I would . I get it.
There’s just nobody else that will actually listen to me.
The union is on my side but I have a feeling that I’m going to get sideswiped somewhere. This passive aggressive issues, makes me feel like I’m working under duress.
Thoughts?
I’ve worked under some of what you’re feeling and it isn’t a good place to be. The Agency was firing everyone over 40 in CPS right before I ruptured to the point I warned our new PM that it sure appeared as age discrimination and she needed to be careful of a lawsuit. She changed us so much we were no longer the leading Agency in the country with all the new implementation we did to make families safer. There were maybe three of us over 40 left when I did rupture, the stress had become intolerable due to the politics, I sure wasn’t used to. My cousins believe I ruptured due to stress and they may be correct, I don’t know.
If you feel the powers that be are undermining you, they might be. But you need to make sure. You will have to do everything you are supposed to do without complaint and document everything. Keep your union representative apprised and see what they have to say. The other option is to start looking for a new job without telling your current Principal.
Family dynamics are a thing of head shaking wonder sometimes. After I ruptured, I stopped interacting with those family members who caused me undue stress. I did warn them, but they didn’t listen. But I sure couldn’t deal with all the bickering nonsense they brought to my life. I even told my Mom she was wrong in listening to my niece’s MIL and I wouldn’t engage in that conversation with her any longer. Fortunately, the MIL showed her true colors when she was talking to Mom on the speaker phone and I pointed it out. Good luck!
The union is heavily involved. Last year there was a grievance against one of our vice principals because of the crappy job he did, and how he screwed with many people’s lives. He basically got a slap on the hen and told to fix it. Also, there were supposed to be things that he was supposed to do but he
One of the biggest issues has been lately, that this person that had the grievance against him last year, went into my file and changed my file without my knowledge. He gave me a rating of proficient with the head of the union sitting there, and then he took it down to a basic and switched my file. That is illegal. So now I had to make a personal grievance against him because you can’t do that. This is the kind of stuff I don’t need to be dealing with. And yes, I have been sick on and off because I find that since having surgery sometimes my immune system takes more of a kicking than it did for a while. But yes, that is an extremely toxic place and I will be looking for a new job at the end of the year. Teaching jobs usually come out in the spring. I just don’t want to be non-renewed so I have to go through all of these steps.
I just don’t know why people have to be so ugly in the world. And I don’t know why people can’t have empathy and compassion for another human being. That may have gone through something traumatic. Yes, I function pretty well, but there are days when it is harder than others, and it makes me sad that people don’t understand that. I’ve tried to be very upfront, and say that I thought things were getting better, which they are, and I was trying my best to do everything I was supposed to do. So, the union has been down there quite a bit and they don’t like the admin at all and I think they’re going to be in for a big surprise when they get a bigger slap on the hand the last time. But, you cannot go through someone’s file and change or review without the knowledge of the employee. that is extremely toxic behavior
Yuk hey
I imagine your reviews are pretty much like mine were, the employees have to sign them and receive a copy. Always keep your copy! Perhaps because the VP has broken the law, they may finally let him go. I know of one who was let go just to show up as a teacher in the county I worked in. I was as surprised as he was when I had occasion to see him. He tried to void me like the plague so I had to ask the Principal to call him in the office through the SSW. It’s at the least a misdemeanor not to give CPS what they need for an investigation, though it can be a felony depending upon the circumstances.
Hopefully your union rep will let the other teachers know to look at their reviews and come forward if there’ve been any changes to theirs. I imagine if the VP has changed yours there have been others as well. The more the union has, the better their argument. Be cautious around the VP’s clique as you probably already know.
people are not being very nice to me at work. And I’ve been so sick. I have this infection in my bowel. I find that I’m getting sick a little bit more this year than previous years. I find that now that I’m under so much stress that it’s becoming very hard for me to hold all the weight on my shoulders. I don’t blame it all on my head, but some of that I do. Because I don’t have quite the ability that I used to to take on mass amounts of stress. The problem is I have to be able to survive. I have to be able to make a mortgage payment so I have to push through it. But my brain is telling me to stop. I am very sick right now and I know that’s because my brain is just saying stop rest
Stress can be a health destroyer more than most anything else it seems. It certainly doesn’t help our brains to continue healing. Do you know how to do relaxation breathing? If not ask your therapist if you have one, with everything you’re dealing with it would be good to have one. If you don’t check out the plethora of YouTube videos. One has to practice all the time so it becomes second nature. Once or twice a day isn’t enough, more like when you wake up, when you’re in the bathroom, before and after each meal, when you’re driving, at a stop light, when you go to bed, all the time…
Document everything!!! After 2 brain surgeries I found that my memory wasn’t as good as it used to be. I carried a “Day Timer” everywhere and wrote down everything during meetings. The first surgery, I was on medical leave for 4 months as my aneurysm burst and had to learn to walk again. I worked at a Fortune 500 company and felt they were coming for me also. I kept HR informed of everything. I was asked to write an article for our group of thousands about what diversity meant to me as I was on a diversity committee. I titled the article “My New Normal”. You see, everyone thought I was fine as they didn’t “see” a disability, but inside I wasn’t fine. I struggled every single day to get out of bed, dress in a suit, attend meetings and lead my team. I cautioned people to take a step back and consider what your teammates are going through. We are all diverse in the way we handle and process things, and those that have gone through a brain aneurysm now process differently. That article finally got through to most people. Then 8 months after the aneurysm I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and 4 months later cataract surgery. 3 years later another brain surgery. So yes, eyes were on me because of my attendance.
So, hang in there!!! I was finally able to retire after 36 years with the company. The last few years weren’t the best but I held on, with my dignity in tact and walked out the door.