How do you deal with the overwhelming anxieties and fears for no apparent reason? Feeling inadequate at job? Are there jobs that one can move over too with lpn credential, without the tremendous stress? Thank you!
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Hi @Nancy12,
We are so very glad that you have found us!! Thank you for taking the time to reach out and ask, as you now have a community that is here to support you.
Like you, I too, had a rupture - but only one, not two! What an strong soul you are!!
The Brain Aneurysm Foundation has a brief webpage about recovering from an aneurysm. One thing they note is that depression and anxiety can be common for patients. Life changed for us literally in a moment, and in my non-medical opinion, it makes sense that it is going to take time to process our experiences. Please be gentle with yourself.
During my recovery I was encouraged to start meditation/mindfulness. For me, I have found that it does help to relieve my stress and anxiety, but of course, it may not work for you/others. One of my personal favorites is the free Healthy Minds app, as it an East-meets-West program, intertwining neuroscience with mindfulness.
It took me about 1 1/2 years before I was able to go back to work (with a different company). I took a position a few steps down from where I had been in order to keep the stress levels down. I am also fiercely protective of my personal time in that I actually take lunches, leave work on time, etc. Almost always at lunch, I will either do some meditation and/or listen to brain.fm to recenter myself. For me, every time I try to re-enter society post-rupture I need to take it slow, e.g., first trip to the grocery store, first time on a train, first concert, first time back to work, etc. I am fortunate at my current job that my boss is just the type that wants to take everything very slow - for everyone, not just me! In that way, it was very helpful that I didnât push myself too hard. Giving myself some grace, time, and re-adjusting is building up my confidence at work so that I donât feel as inadequate. I do have some self-doubt at times to be sure, but slowly I am gaining my confidence back.
I wish I could help with your LPN question! I did do some random web searches, but I am suspicious you have already done those and that was of no help, so no need for me to share.
You have been through a LOT. You are a fierce and beautiful soul. Please allow yourself the time you need.
Please continue to vent as you need, and let us know how things are going. We are here for you!
Fin Whale Fan 
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Wow! Thank you sooooo much for responding !I feel like someone understands and cares! What a gift! I got home, felt a little weird but I do not think I really new what happened to me, looking back. Almost like e i was just sick and was in the hospital I do not think I really understood the brain aneurysms thing, because I had not recollection. Luckily, I had my dog at home! He took great care of me⌠I was eventually sick again, projectile vomiting, with nausea and headache and stiff neck. I had a different friend take me to er and they did a scan and sent me home. My friend made me eat rice and Salmonand gave me pedialite, I think this was key. I was back to work after 4=3 or 4 weeks. I did not even think about stayiing home. I just jumped back into life like nothing happened. I did not have a follow up with the surgeon and since i cannot remember anything, It is like it never happened. i did nât realize it but my looking back, my head seeme better and clearere than it was then. (Obviously). the guy who was my regular doctor quit Alllina and I never did meet with the neuro surgeon. I sent thank you notes though, to EMS, nurses, doctors and surgeon.
SO all this time has gone by and i have bever been able to talk about this whole thing with anyone. My dear mother is hard of hearing and is 92. I love her and thank God for her, she used to be my sounding board⌠so, I miss that.
The radiology dept hs called and asked me to come in for an angiogram or recheck, I did not do that. I had a CT with dye at the Er for a three day migraine last year and they said it looked good. I guess it was not the correct scan that needs to be done by the surgeon though, so it did not count. I cannot afford to go and get these done. My healthcare is not that good and I cannot afford this. ( I had to file bankrupsy after the 300,000 debit, so needless to say I am not avoiding the health visits.
Sorry to rambel and if sounds like I am complaining, I am not, i am grateful to be here, I guess GOD has more work for me to do, and I am hanging in there.
My hair fell out after three weeks. It started coming out in chunks! It is still very thin and has a strange texture and will not hold a curl. Anyone else have this problem or a solution? Thank you for letting me vent and tell my storyâŚ
I think it helps, and I greatly appreciate the opportunity to vent here without judgment. Is there anyone who getâs together one on one, anywhere?
Thank you again!
God bless you!
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I meant, I âamâ avoiding health care visits because I cannot afford.
Thankyou.
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Hey Nancy,
Welcome to Benâs Friends.
My name is Merl, Iâm a member of the Modsupport Team here on the Benâs Friends network.
Please, do not be apologising for rambling. When I first came here I had all of these questions rolling over and over in my head, with no answers. This is a place to ask, there are âno silly questionsâ here (Iâve already asked all of the silly questions 
).Who better to talk to than people who have been there themselves. Us. We do not have all of the answers, but if we can help, we will.
I donât have an annie, but another little nasty growing in my head, which has required a few neurosurgeries to manage. I too went through that âOHH PHEW, someone understandsâŚâ when I found this site. I was having some weird and wonderful side effects post surgery which nobody could comprehend or understand, least of all me. Just in having others saying âMe Tooâ was such a relief.
âHow do you deal with the overwhelming anxieties and fears for no apparent reason?â
Your fears and anxiety are REALLY common (I did/do too), but I disagree with âfor no apparent reasonâ part, youâve just had major brain surgery. Not having any memory of it can be a bit of a double-edged sword. In some ways it can be a relief not to remember, but then weâre left with the question âso, what did happen?â. For me, those anxieties were like walking on egg shells, just waiting for the next one to break. Every ache, every pain, every weird side effect and I was asking myself âIs this it again?â But over time we learn what is ânormalâ (as if any of it is normal) and what is a sign that I need to act NOW!!!. You too will learn your own signs, but it does take time to learn. That word âSlowlyâ was very foreign to me, but I soon learnt I had to slow down or my side effects and anxieties could overtake me in a heartbeat.
Youâve been given some really good information here by FinWhaleFan and I must agree with the advice âPlease be gentle with yourselfâ. I say this because I didnât. I had a life, and I wanted it back. I pushed myself to get back to work, back to life. I pushed too hard, too soon, doing myself an even greater injury and found myself back on the neurosurgeonâs table, requiring more surgery. Donât do that. As Iâm often telling members, âNow is a time to be kind to yourselfâ. Take the time your body needs and not just the time your mind thinks it needs.
Hope it helps
Merl from the Modsupport Team
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Welcome again and thank you so much for starting a new topic, one that gives me a lot of food for thought.
It sucks to not be able to afford health care. Costs for health care keep going up. It does make one wonder if national health care wouldnât be better but we wonât get that under our current administration. When I went to get one of my diagnostic angiograms BH asked if we could pay prior to being billed. I was still on my work coverage or perhaps it was COBRA, a bit of time ago. At our local hospital, I could pay the 20% up front and get a huge discount. However, at the teaching hospital I go to they didnât have the same program but told us we could pay $120,000 for a discount. Not sure what type of procedure you had, craniotomy or endovascular. They do like to make sure the clip is in place or the coils havenât compacted. You might reach out to the hospital and ask how you can reduce your cost. Explain whatâs going on, they may have some type of program youâre eligible for. I know I had a client that had to declare bankruptcy following some serious health issues and the lady in the billing department said the client could pay $5/mo but warned never to skip it or the hospital would send creditors after them.
Canât help on the job question, I wasnât able to return to work after I ruptured. I may be a bit envious of those who can, I certainly do a happy dance for all of you!
Iâm also waiting for my cousin down in FL to respond to my text. She was an LPN up in PA and took another job in FL as an LPN. Not sure what exactly the position was called but she did the ordering for supplies on the floor she worked. Is something like that more doable? I also donât know if it was less stress than what you have now. Sometimes the work related stress we know is more easily overcome than in a job we donât know if that makes sense. We also have a niece down in GA that has her LPN and works in a rehab facility. She worked at a Pediatricianâs office up in PA. I worked with ER RNs here in NC as a CPS SW and Health Dept RNs at our countyâs health department. While I think the ER RNs are angels, itâs definitely a high stress job. Health Dept not so much, but thereâs politics at play anywhere one works that can add to stress.
As for overcoming anxiety and fear weâve all been there, especially us in the rupture group I think. Not to say folks who havenât ruptured donât get it when they first find out theyâve got one because they most certainly do. I always suggest some type of relaxation breathing, thereâs many different techniques and if you search here (especially under @FinWhaleFan whoâs been kind enough to provide YouTube links) you may find something that works for you. Remember which ever one you pick, you absolutely have to practice all the time, multiple times a day, so it becomes a part of you. Do it from the time you open your eyes after waking until right before you close them for the night.
Because they both together or individually can lead to panic attacks, remember when youâre doing the relaxation breathing, just focus on the breathing, unless of course youâre driving a vehicle. If youâre driving just do the relaxation breathing and talk out loud on the things you see, what type of vehicles are around you, what the road signs say, whatâs on the side of the road kind of things that we need to focus on anyway.
We all have triggers, physical triggers our bodies go to when we are feeling anxiety and fear. Do you clench your jaw, do you forget to breathe, do you breathe fast, stomach muscles get tight or make a fist? Youâll have to figure out which one you get and immediately start relaxation breathing. If youâve been practicing enough, you wonât even have to think about it. If you have a really close friend they might be able to help. We also have emotional triggers that immediately makes our physical trigger start up. In my experience teaching this to clients, itâs easier to identify the physical triggers first and work with a good therapist on identifying the emotional triggers. Not that identifying emotional triggers has to be done with a therapist, itâs just easier.
Iâm really glad you found and joined our group. We are allowed to ramble, I do it all the time. We are allowed to vent, cry share happy moments. We are here to support each other and everything we feel and experience helps others.
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I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your response(s)!
As far as anxieties, do you think it would help to talk to someone? I also was in 2 car accidents in 10 days gtotallying both cars, 14 months post surgery. That really shook me up, but like before, I had to hurry up, find a new car, get back to work, I only missed one day of work. My family gave me two cars, now I have one i paid for. I am so grateful⌠but life is going so fast and i feel like I cannot keep up with some of this trauma occurring and I feel like I never got to process any of this. i had to just hurry up and keep going forward. Does this make sense? I have no one to share the responsibilities with and the dog stuff and the bills, so I need to keep going, and I am tired. I really have no one but my dog.. I now have you though and I am grateful!! Thank you! (I did order the paperwork from the hospital so I could read what actually happened, and I order ed the EMS ambulance records). That did help and sometimes I am still in disbelief. What I was reading was brought me to tears⌠that actually happened⌠to meâŚ. wow.
Thank you again!!! xo
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Oops, the car accidents were 10 days apart.
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HI! I am going to download the healthy mind app on my phone tomorrow. Is it free? Also, what is brain fm radio and what is the cost?
Thank you sooo much for these great suggestions!
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Hi @Nancy12,
That is correct: the Healthy Minds app is completely free. It is run by a non-profit associated with the University of Wisconsin-Madison. I say that as being associated with an academia there are no ads within the app - none!! You do get an email promoting a partnerâs organization or asking to participate in a study, but compared to those for-profit organizations it is pretty minimal.
I have also played around with another group, Love Your Brain:
Their focus is for those with TBIs (traumatic brain injuries) vs. us with acquired brain injuries, but still, a brain injury is a brain injury, right? 
TBIs are far more common in our society, so not surprising they get more attention. They have a number of free programs as well, including on-demand and webinars, so see if anything catches your eye. Again, a free registration is required. I havenât participated much, but they havenât kicked me out for NOT having a TBI
Brain.fm is a subscription-service at ~$70/year. However, they post a good number of sessions on YouTube (of course!) so I used them a lot for free for months to see if I really wanted to invest, but you can just keep using YouTube if you wish.
In terms of talking to someone, well, I trust you! You are the one who is best able to determine if that makes sense for you. I am confident you will make the right choice!!
Sending good thoughts!!
Fin Whale Fan
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@FinWhaleFan is a great resource for sharing helpful information, right?!
As for having anxieties, I am also with @FinWhaleFan only you know you. If theyâre overwhelming then look for a good therapist hopefully a Neuropsychologist who specializes in brain trauma, may be helpful. Remember not every therapist is a good fit for everyone and not every therapist is experienced with anxieties following a rupture or traumatic events. Interviewing a therapist isnât a bad idea but may not be taken well on first visit. If you go the route of a therapist just let them know you have questions on whether or not theyâll be helpful to you. You may not always like what a therapist says or suggests you do, if that happens talk to them about it, donât ignore it, get mad and quit etc.
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Thank you! I will surely check these resources out. I appreciate you!
Thank you so much! You are so thoughtful to help! I appreciate you! Iâll check them out!
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