Dale, hang in there and stay positive for her. She needs you now more than ever! It broke my heart to see my husband, my father & mother suffering to see me at the hospital. I had a bleed after a 2 ruptured annie's in October 2007. CT scan revealed the bleed from 2 ruptured annies and 1 smaller annie. I had a craniotomy for 2 ruptured annies. I had MRA's every 6 months and in Feb 2009 3rd annie had grown almost to the same size as the ruptured annies. I had a 2nd craniotomy to clip the 3rd one. My hubby and family were there every step of the way. The first surgery was the hardest since it was a bleed. You need to stay strong to help her recover faster. Surround her with lots of positive energy. I know that is easy to say but seeing my hubby everyday with a smile helped me recover. I was in ICU for 3 weeks and 2 more weeks in reg room. BIT (Brain Injury Transistional program) for 3 months. Keeping you & your wife in our prayers.
I am managing to hold on. I don't have any other choice. Funny thing is, her parents, brother and sisters, and our children all get to come to me and break down and cry and share how hard it is for them - and I know it is - and I am there for them. I don't get that luxury. I have to be there for her and for all of them. I'm sure Debbie will have a few good breakdowns and cries after she is home. I'll save mine, I guess, for then and we can cry together. Don't know what else to do.
This is so true Dale...you both will cry together when she is home...if no other reason but that you both are in your home together...
It is time for parents, brother and sisters and children to find comfort from each other...right now...Dale ... you need to take care of You and Your Wife...God Bless...~ Colleen
Just to update, we're still in ICU but she spoke to us today!!!!!
We're just about 4 weeks into this with almost no visible signs that things were getting better neurologically - though she was stabilized medically.
Thursday they moved her to a LTAC hostpital (Long Term Acute Care) where they could work to stimulate her and get her more responsive. Today she spoke. She still has a trach but they put in a speaking valve yesterday. Today, unexpectedly, she started speaking to us. She knew she had an aneurysm but not where she was. She knew all the family as they all called to get in on the joy but she said she doesn't remember what anyone looks like. We're bring in tons of pictures tomorrow.
We still have a long road ahead. She can move most of her muscles but none well enough to do anything for herself. That she can move them at all lends great hope that, with good physical therapy, she will fully recover.
We're in ICU at the LTAC hospital today but probably be in a regular room by Monday or Tuesday. I'm going back to work on Monday and settling in for the long road ahead - but at least the road got tremendously, more tremendously than I could possibly put into words, easier today. Just in time for my birthday tomorrow.
I don't suppose my 2 cents here will be useful in helping you deal with your portion of the trauma, but I want to tell you about my ICU experience. I remember almost nothing of those 10 days although my husband says I was asleep all the time. What I do remember is opening my eyes, scanning the room, seeing my husband's head and feeling reassured, safe, protected. I have the sense that I just relaxed and went back to sleep. I'm sure that didn't do anything for my husband, but I'm also certain that it helped me eventually emerge. It may not ease the stress, fear, anguish, etc, but remember you are doing her a great service.
Oh God Dale...I am so glad to see the update...it is such a long journey..."one step at a time..."...
Please do something for YOUUUUU Tommorrow...its your Birthday ~ HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY ... ~
You and your wife are in my prayers daily...many people here at BAF touch me, but your story has not only touched my heart, but embraces my thoughts...~ Cyber~hugs Colleen
Lleni, that's tremendously helpful. All that we're going through is easily handled when we know it helps her. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
Debbie is still in and out. She talks for quite a bit through the course of the day but it is a bit here and a bit there. One new problem has come up now. It isn't that we weren't warned but we just didn't want to accept that it would happen to us. Debbie is often delirious, talking in statements that make no sense. Yet sometimes, she's fully coherent and aware of what's going on. My daughter and her two youngest daughters were here for a couple of hours today but now Debbie doesn't remember them being here. When they were here, Debbie did really well -even if tired and sleeping some of the time.
So now we are dealing with delirium and short term memory loss. In the larger scheme of things, this is wonderful - but it is still tough. Not nearly as tough as what came before.
Tomorrow I have to return to work. That's going to be though but she's in good care here at the hospital she's in.
The support, encouragement, and success stories from BAFSupport have been a tremendous help. Thanks for all the continued support and prayers.
Almost everyone that stays on ITU for more than a day or so gets delirium, it may be due to sleep deprivation. It improves. I think many of the survivors here will report memory loss. It also improves. May be slow though.
I have a funny story, at least that is the way I look at it. Others might say delirium. And before I meant to say that my husband says I wasn't asleep the whole time in ICU. I have a handful of memories. One of them is a movie was on the TV and I studied it and figured out it was a Harry Potter movie. Now you might call those stories delirium too and not be unreasonable. Anyhow I had been given my laptop because we own a small business and I do the payroll through an online service. They were trying to work me through getting payroll done. My daughter insisted that the laptop be taken away after I told her that I had reformatted the hard drive so I could talk to Harry Potter. She told me this later and I found that I had put a filter in my gmail for Harry Potter emails. That was about a year ago. Now I make sense...at least most of the time.
omg!!! LOL, I thought I was the only one. I swore aliens had abducted me and taken out a piece of my brain. They flew over often and spoke a strange language. Turns out is was the tv station, apparently my nurse(s) where bi-lingual and was watching tv in spanish and they had to restrain me because I kept removing tubes, needles etc. Thanks for sharing that one. : )
Dale,
I pray for you and your wife's speady recovery. Hold out and hold on. Wishing nothing but the best for your family today and every day!
The delirium is interesting. There are very logical connections in recent history and to things that happened in the hospital every time she says something that doesn't otherwise make sense. I'm not sharing stories! If she wants to share them later then she can but I don't want to be in trouble. :) But it's clear that her brain just hasn't re-wired up all the memories yet and the world looks jumbled up to her. Really no difference in this than in regaining access to her muscles. I guess it's all just a matter of rewiring those connections. It's heart wrenching but it does get better every day.
Dale, I, too, had bizarre hallucinations! Without re-hashing my bio, I feel like my brain needed time to figure out what was the “here and now” reality…I have many, many stories I could tell! I am thankful that my brain eventually sorted my life out…I also like your analogy of regaining access to her muscles, compared to the rewiring of the brain…for me, that really hits the mark…
I also think that all of the medications they have you on contribute to the delirium, no, I don’t think- I know…
Dana
Thanks, Dana. It's always good to hear the successes others have had. I am sure she will figure it all out. She gets better every time she sleeps and wakes up. Then she gets worse as she gets tired - which is a good clue for us; when she stops making sense it's time for us to all back off and let her sleep.
The staff at the hospital we're at (can I name the hospital and specific people?) are fantastic and they're helping to make sure she gets batter. Today she is moving her legs and bending her knees. Almost every day is a big step forward. It's still going to take a while (there are a lot of those big steps to take) but we're on the right track.
LaVonne, that is amazing. Here you are having your operation one day later than my wife's and you're on here praying for us? That's very touching. Thank you!
I'm sure your husband doesn't consider you a burden. It may seem that the treatment or therapy or whatever things you're doing now are for you, but they're not. They're for you both. I can tell you that this is not just Debbie's burden. It's our burden. We're in it together. Don't worry about being a burden. You're partners. You work together to overcome anything that comes up; even this.