I've only been on this site for a short time and have recieved a lot of much needed support, for so long I thought I was alone I didn't understand what really had happened to me and WHY me?talking with some of you has helped more than you know thankyou I think I've gained some perspective I have a type A personality I have always pushed myself to do more,go faster,get it done quicker better this time and it has made me strong and I thought invincible at times I work hard phsysical labor and very competetive with those around me including myself! it seems looking back I worked like a machine never giving in to the fatique,pain or phsyical battering I put my body through just get up the next morning and doing it all over again 7 days a week for most of my life ignoring that brick wall when my body,s telling me I'm exhaused and busting through it and getting it done anyway and it has never been a burden to support my family it has been an honor to take care of the people I love so much...but did I go to far??and then the anguish my wife and children must have felt when they gave me my last rights??how my beautiful wife,s heart must have broke when the doctor told her not to come inI'm not expected to make it through the next day or night does any of this sound remotely familiar to any of you? can we prevent this from happening to some other family? I'm still trying to come to grips with it DID I DO THIS?? thankyou Dale
(((Dale)))...my heart breaks reading this post, I felt this way...and seeing tears in my husbands eye's when I finally woke...I can't even imagine how he must have felt...Truthfully, I am over what caused my aneurysm...because nothing will change it now..."it is what it is"...eventually I hope you do the same, and move on from it...you are trying to blame You...doing what you did in the past...put it all on you...learn from what happened to you...and realize so much of our life is out of our control...start loving you Dale...Gotcha in my Thoughts and prayers ~ Happy Easter to you and your family...Colleen
Dale, welcome...and NO you likely did not DO THIS... i.e. cause of the small area of weakness of the neck of the aneurysm...if you did push yourself too hard, that time is over / gone; and, you cannot go back to renew or change it; but start anew with more balance. If you were born w/a weakness in a tiny area of a vessel, you did not know it any more than the rest of us did. Some research notes that many aneurysms are near the bifurcation of an artery where the walls of the artery have a wekaness; others are close to the branching areas of arteries and that has not been qualified as the bifurcation area...in the research I have found...
Aneurysms are a small percentage of diseases; the ther major of heart attack, ischemic stroke, cancers and much more at a larger rate of people compared to those w/aneurysms; and, it is well known what might have caused those diseases; with lots more info on congenitial issues.
Your children and your wife likely feel blessed because you are here w/them after your last rights; in essense they know it was "right"...and, you did, too, to stay here. I do not understand what you mean by the doctors told your wife to not come in?
Dale, prayers that you will learn what you want / feel the need to learn; remember, you cannot undo what is past; just work on starting new life adjustments. Prayers that you will share your concerns with your wife and children. There is a Group on this site for spouses which you may want to ask your wife to connect with; if she has not already.
So hope you had a wonderfully Happy Easter...
Pat
thankyou Pat I think I've started to understand the medical stance and I did stroke with 3-4 vassal spasms I just can't get over some of the commonalities I sense when reading stories like CINDY's story on the baf website an athlete or Tory Klementsen member of marathon maniacs these are people in top physical condition or the super women who muti-task all day and night and put themselfs last in order to get things done I quess I'm wondering if we haven't unintentionatley hurt our own vasiculatory systems making these weaknesses in the blood vessels where the anyurism is most likely to occur weaker because of the physical stress we put ourselfs under for enjoyment,work,LIFE whatever we strive for and are willing to work harder than the next person to ACHIVE and if this condition is preventable maybe the word should get out so there won't be so many children not living with both parents what my wife tells me that is was a long ride into boston from where we live in nh and the doctor might have wanted to give her a break she was still working,under enormuos stress and ready to collapse at any minute not knowing if I was going to live or die it must have been very difficult for her one hemorrage would not stop bleeding and they kept taking more and more brain tissue from my temporal lobe until they where able to repair it this went on for some time..weeks and for me there was NO warning signs both vessels just BURST at the same time..thankyou for responding pat...Dale
Hi Paula thankyou so much and I agree fully and as pat said above the other conditions that kill us with regularity are well known, at the time this happened to me I was 49 in very good shape and had never heard of a brain anyurism never mind rupture and how easy it can kill us and if we survive how it changes us I don't dwell on it I have a full active life and this site HAS helped me heal and understand however it makes me wonder how many other people are out there because of their lifestyles could be in potential danger and not even realize it so the question really isn't "why did it happen to me" but "why isn't it more well known" and can it be prevented with some minor lifestyle changes,like just taking a little time to rest or relax and not be going,going,going all the time before this happened to you what was your lifestyle like..sorry I don't mean to be personal just wondering ? Dale
Dale---I have had many of the same thoughts/feeling....I, too, have wondered if I just didn't heed warning sign....but, as Colleen states---"it is what is"....I know I should take that attitude--but, frankly, that is really difficult for me to do...I guess I am also a "type A" person--although I never thought of myself as such--I mean, you just do what needs to be done..I also cannot imagine the anguish my husband and family went through---similar situation with last rites and all--I was not supposed to make it through the night (that 1st night in Reno)--my brother and sister were told to come to Reno to say their "good-byes"! From CA and TX--wow!
In addition, we did not have health insurance at the time!- I don't know why, but my husband had to pay for my medi-flight before they would transport me to SF---?... I do realize that I am extremely for fortunate to have a husband/family who were knowledgeable, proactive, and my staunch advocates (...and that my husband was able to call upon his family for the funds for my transport...)----There were many factors to my situation that go far beyond the rupture---too many and detailed to get into here---suffice it to say that in addition to the rupture, surgeries, continual re-hab...etc... I had to move from my home-leave our business- and start over in a new city and State---try adding that to the mix!!! Take Care--Dana
Dale, you are more than welcome...
My numerous interests in, and my commitment to, are bringing data forward for those beside us and behind us. Many many of us have common symptoms that are ignored / overlooked by PCPs; and/ recovery follow-up are far beyond streaks of humor; so dilbertonian. I am fanatical about recovery from Rehab forward....for several reasons...
A friend of mine is in recovery of heart surgery...hers related to rheumatic fever in her childhood.
In the 8 years of my survival; two cousins and five friends have died from cancer; two elderly from AD related. The spouses/families/partners/friends, dedicated t otheir care/support, watched their misery, their pain, their decline to the last rights. One sis and three friends are undergoing cancer treatment and/or its recovery...there are no guarantees on how long the last rights may be extended.
The trauma and stress your wife felt is not at all being questioned; it is the same for all the other un-expected traumas...however, those are the well-known diseases and we tend to forget the care and support given to the survivors; and, the impacts on all those care-givers.
Dale, prayers for your continued recovery, advancements; and, again, learn what you want and feel comfortable with, and what you may choose to do with what you learn; i.e. initiate a local support group, etc...
Pat
Dale,
Did you really feel exhausted, tired and stressed? Because I did not; I did exercise, I did rest as logically needed (because I worked, if any long/late social functions were on a Saturday, I would automatically take a brief afternoon nap...not if just a quick, short, dinner/visit out...) I took no meds...until after two MVAs.too long a story...the headaches began...and, there were no h/as in my prior records...fatigue, balance, etc.. followed. I still have mental images of the second MVA...
thePCP referred me to a psychiatrist and did no testing...and, she had records of the first...and the "mild headache"...
I hear/read of "hypertensive" and/or "type A"...and, have such hard time w/that... when younger, that Type A term was used w/heart attacks...
Pat
Dana, it is difficult for me also...possibly much more than others...Likely, we can share a lot...
Pat
i don't think so Dale- Don't beat yourself up over this-mine was there since birth according to my surgeon so i can't help to wonder maybe it was from my parents and grandparents-generations of heavy smokers and alchohol
abusers- back then they smoked up the house while moms were pregnant so i say lets blame our forefathers!!
Hi Ron it's seems as though most of the people I've talked to here are women and they have been great however it is kinda cool to get a prespective from another mans point of view I've seen some of your posts you have a great sense of humor and seem to be dead on and well versed on the target with info to back it up I just can't shake the feeling however that many people might live with an anyurisum somewhere in the brain and never know it in the weeker areas of vessels where by nature or by heritage they would have the chance to grow we have aggrivated the situation ourselves by pushing ourselfs too hard by means of shear will take some of these athetes on here that survived imagine the last mile in a marathon pushing into a head wind up hill totally used up physically even though they are in remarkable condition I believe it's will power that gets them through and it's that kind of stress that we put on our vasculatory systems through that POPS the weasel!!! what do you think ? thanks for the reply Dale
thanks Dale- this is a fascinating topic-i would love to see some stats on this-mine happened while i was on a mini- vacation about a half hour from home,i was sitting relaxing-if i had it since birth it would have burst when i was young walking up mountains deer hunting,i was also a roofer lugging heavy shingles up ladders and then i was a sheetrocker- all the while smoking and drinking,many times it should have ruptured-one memory is lugging shingles up a ladder in 100 degree weather -thought i was going to pass out and must have looked bad cause my buddy said ron go get a drink & sit in the shade-unfortunatly the boss overheard him and bellowed 3 MORE BUNDLES!!!lol-just noticed your "pops the weasel" lineLOL i like that-your sense of humor is intact-omg im out of room- see part 2 below!!
PART 2-LOL- Dale, also think of all the others also one lady was on vaca in mexico,one was in movie lobby-i dont recall any happening while exercising-seems to be the opposite- we should start a poll here,my weasel popped after i had quit smoking, drinking excessfully, my last job was much more less stressful,i was a painter in a retirement home but still remember times it should have burst carrying 2 -5 gall buckets up a staircase also doing snow removal all day etc,you wanted a man's perspective -sorry was so long but i could fill this whole thing i think -so now the balls back in your court!!! what do you think?? i hope you can follow my "drift" here- not sure if its very concievable. i think this will give the other "long stories" a run for their money !!i don't think we'll ever know
Yea I'm not so sure about it happening at the exact time of the exersize but the prolonged effects of continuing to do it over and over Tory Kleminson was the one in the movie theater wonderful lady member of the marathon maniacs club read her story and then cindys story on the baf webpage I too have worked in constr. all my life 42 yrs. now I could work from 5am to maybe 2am had the constitution of a dinosaur never get sick get up and do it all over again without batten an eye the next morning, I went to mass general at 243lbs with a 50" chest and 18" upper arms very strong and powerful got out at about 173 ( I think) very weak and pale I have done everything you mentioned christ I'd shovel shit against the tide all day to support my family..thanks
i think we are starting t get off track-probably my fault for not expaining well-but we did not do this to ourselves.it would have happened to me a long time ago-iam average size and working like an animal made my blood pressure soar- face would turn bright red , veins poppin out of my neck etc,All walks of life get these anuerisms even pencil pushers, kids etc,anyway nice to "meet u" altho i wish on another avenue-good luck &may God Bless you & yours-ron
no you didnt do this.
Thankyou for your reply laurie that seems to be the general opinion it's just a feeling I have inside
if you ever wanna talk im here
Hi Laurie hope all is well with you and your loved ones I'm starting to get better but it's taken 7 yrs. and my family says my personallity has changed alot and I don't think right anymore ( christ I had the equalivent of a frontal labotomy ) it's just very difficult to see from the inside and talking a little with Ron he makes a lot of sense I understand it, my thoughts are more based on the chronic effects not so much of the acute effects of having a strong will power do you have any opinions on maybe why it seems more women are affected then men is it because your natural multi-taskers?? going,going,going all day and night for the benefits of taking care of your families,working nest building and caring constantly for your loved ones with little to no regard for your own well being, doesn't it sound a little like an athlete striving for excellance?? at least in the mindset??? thanks Dale