Hey, I’m really struggling with depression since my anerysum clipping 10 weeks ago, I’m finding I’m shutting the people close to me out, almost pushing them away as I feel a burden as I’m constantly breaking down. I’m isolating myself , is there anyone else experiencing this?
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Hi @Sammi -
I am soooooo happy to see that you have reached out to all of us! Thank you for letting us know how you are doing, and I sincerely mean that.
Admittedly I presume I had a very different experience from you, but one observation I picked up being a patient (note, I am not a medical professional) is that depression is quite common with brain injuries. I just ran a quick search and found some resources that mention this, e.g.,:
Being aware of an unruptured brain aneurysm may heighten mental health risks
Niekro Aneurysm & AVM Foundation - Depression
BAF Webinar: Depression Following Brain Aneurysm - This is hosted by both an aneurysm survivor (rupture and stents), as well as being Clinical Psychologist, so you might find this particularly helpful.
Additionally, Headway (in the UK) has an article on 10 Ways to Deal with Depression After a Brain Injury. I am REALLY proud that you have already taken at least one of their steps, and that is reach out to all of us for support.
Moving forward, you are NOT alone any more, as you now have your Brain Aneurysm family to be here for you. As we say, it is not a family anyone chooses to belong to, but yet we are a strong, supportive group nonetheless.
Whatever our experience, we all have had to undergo a very traumatic diagnosis/experiences, and those who surround us are not always able to understand the situation as much as they wish. Please let us know your thoughts and feelings, and feel free to vent as much as you need. We are here for you!
Sending you good, positive energy across the Pond.
Fin Whale Fan 
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Hello,
I am sorry that you are having such a difficult time at the moment. I think it is very common to have the feelings you described.
I have been struggling with the idea that I am a.burden to my family.
I just wanted you to know that you are not alone and there are people here who will try and support you xxxx
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Thank you so much. If I’m honest the level of depression has scared me a bit as I’m normally such a bubbly person, and I think I am disappointed that people closest to me haven’t really noticed, I mean they know I’m struggling but because I play it down, and I do this because I mean who wants to have to deal with me crying at the drop of a hat!, they just think that I’m a bit fed up. Sounds selfish I know. Iv learnt at the end of the day it’s really all down to yourself to deal with, don’t get me wrong at the beginning they were amazing support it’s just as the weeks pass by it’s not forefront at their minds and understandable they have their own lives to crack on with. I’m hoping now things will get better with the help of this platform and a little medication☺️
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Thank you so much. I will look at these links today. The depression has scared me if I’m honest, not a bit of me at all, but as I’m a positive person I am forcing myself forward and keeping clean and hydrated and eating best I can, that’s another thing that’s changed, my appetite! I love my food but really don’t fancy anything so feeling it’s a bit of a chore but I’m drinking lots of water so I’m sure in time my appetite will return . Thanks again 
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I’ve always been amazed at the personal strength of people who can identify a difficulty they’re going through and reach out for help, well done! I am partial to our group, probably more of a bias as I feel each one of our members can and many do offer some great suggestions. But, and it’s a big but, none of us can take the place of professional help. Please reach out to your surgical team and let them know what’s going on. If you can’t reach them through your portal, reach out to your PCP.
You are still early in recovery from your craniotomy. It takes a while to heal. Merl often uses the how long is a length of string analogy, everyone’s string is different. I like his analogy, I like he’s been through several craniotomy procedures (well not really) but because of the number he’s had, he certainly knows a thing or two about them. One thing I’ve learned about any brain procedure is we need to give ourselves some grace. For me that means to acknowledge our feelings and give ourselves time for whatever we need. Do we need to mourn who we once were? Do we need to mourn what we once did and can no longer do? Were we the ones in our family unit that did the peace keeping, the caring of them, etc and have difficulty with doing whatever role we had? Yes to those and the plethora of other things we need to do. Some of us are able to return to those roles we define ourselves as, others need to find a new definition as life can change dramatically.
When I worked with families, there were many who experienced depression or even deep sadness over loss of themselves. There were many many different reasons but all have similar steps to come out. I imagine if you asked your loved ones if you’re a burden to them, they would say not at all. They love you and were probably concerned to scared when you went into your procedure. They may not understand that our brains need, no demand, a long time to heal. Our brains have to reroute neurotransmitters sending messages as the procedure has stopped traffic so to speak. You brain can and will be able to,do this but you and the rest of us need to help it out by none other than following the 3 rules - hydration, protein, rest as needed.
What are the rules your surgeon has you following? We all get them, we may not like them but we have to follow them. Look on your discharge papers if you haven’t been lifted off of them. One of the things I learned working with families is that a cluttered, messy home is often a sign of depression. When we are depressed, we quit caring about things like personal hygiene or pride in our homes and selves. Take it in baby steps, I like this motivational speech https://youtu.be/TBuIGBCF9jc?si=wvxFUzMVSDpAjv5f
Then after making your bed, declutter the area you hang out in. Perhaps it’s in a recliner, chair or sofa where you’ve got a table near by that’s filled up with stuff. Attack that first. When you walk through a room, grab 2-3 items and put it back where it belongs. I like to work counter clockwise now, before I ruptured it was clockwise but I didn’t notice until someone pointed it out. Are you able to help prepare meals? I may not be able to cook without supervision but I can do the prep work for meals, if BH remembers to tell me what we are having😂. I just put the different ingredients in different bowls so I can triple or quadruple check that I have them all. It also makes it easier for BH to see what I’ve forgotten. I always forget a couple of things, it’s like my brain doesn’t register them. It took me a long time to figure it was okay, a very long time. But I finally got there. I had to start learning to give myself some grace. I also had to learn to ask for help. I’m still learning. But when I do, my loved ones make a big deal about it.
Try making three lists, one of positives, one of why you feel you’re a burden, and the other why you are isolating yourself. Set goals for the feelings of being a burden and engaging with others to stop the isolation. This might be better to work with having a skilled professional help out, which I would highly recommend if you can’t get over a hurdle. Don’t bullshit, be brutally honest is the best way I can put it, does no good if you don’t. A professional, therapist, Psychologist or Psychiatrist is trained in these matters. Try to find someone with experience in head injuries.hopefully your Neurosurgeon will know someone in your area.
Keep talking to us, know you are not alone! We are here.
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For me, one of the steps is identifying what appears to be the cause of getting down because sometimes we can take steps to alleviate that, as well.
Hang in there @Sammi: as the others say, identifying it and being honest with yourself about it are great first steps 
It’s not the cheeriest time of year, either.
Very best wishes,
Richard
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Hey if I’m honest iv no idea what has caused it as I’m super positive but I suppose it’s because of the journey iv been on. Talking soooo helps so thank you 
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Hi Sammi,
I had a full metal jacket stent about 12 weeks ago and have been having some struggles as well. Its hard watching them watch you struggling. I agree with you that talking to those who truly understand what you’re going through helps. Keep going….don’t give up. Reach out anytime you would like to talk. 
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If you are on blood thinners, which you probably are, for me, they definitely contributed to depression . They just sapped my energy. I was on Brillinta. Also I think that almost every story I have read here on this forum, People have had headaches, light sensitivity, and “brain fatigue.“ You can just be going about your day in the brain just says “I’m done.“ All these things can make it difficult for you to do things that you used to do before. Things that made you happy.
Also, as far as I can tell the brain surgeons like to deny the above facts. As grateful as I am to all of them, and to the amazing technologies they have to repair our brains, I even told my surgical team that they should put together a kit for light sensitivity and also warn people about post operative side effects. Because denying these postoperative symptoms does not enhance mental health! It’s a little bit of gaslighting.makes you think you’re crazy! And you are the only one, but you are not!
They would like to be able to say “oh no, you can recover in a week “. I in fact was back to work in a week, but some days I could only work three or four hours before my brain shutting down.They want to be able to say “oh no, no side effects!“ for insurance purposes. If they admitted to the many postoperative symptoms, we probably wouldn’t get the surgery, so they’re probably doing the right thing. Because without the surgery, a lot of us would be dead.
But in the couple of years since my surgery, I have definitely taken extra steps to take care of myself and all ways possible. Sleeping more, slowing down, and right now I am in Cozumel Mexico !!!(not scuba diving because we are not supposed to do that!) but enjoying some snorkeling and good weather.
So things do improve, but it takes some time. If you are still in your six month postoperative blood thinner period, Try not to think too much. Just get over that. And plan to have more energy afterward.
Best of luck with everything. Three years later here after my aneurysm I still count my blessings every day that I’m alive. And did not have major stroke symptoms. My brain surgery, for me, was a near death experience, and made me reassess and rethink what I want to accomplish in the time I have left on earth and that reassessment I think has helped me with mental health.
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Hey I’m not on blood thinners, maybe because my aneurysm hadn’t ruptured, thank u for ur feedback much appreciated
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Thank you and same for you, always here to chat
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Hi Sammi,
As someone who had a clipping for a non-rupture, it takes your body an entire year to heal. This isn’t a broken arm & you’re healed in 6-8 weeks. You need to give yourself grace. I found this post from another member about a year or so back. It spoke volumes for me.
“Unless you have experienced it personally it is going to be difficult for others to understand. I had an extremely hard time adjusting to my new norm after my brain surgery. I have been able to work through some of the emotional changes and increased anxiety with support of counselors and having weekly sessions. Find what makes you happy and you will need to grieve what is no longer part of the old you. Embrace the you now and it will get better as time goes on.
BobbiF”
I hope this helps you. I wish I could have read this 19 years ago, when I was in your same position.
Hope you have a happy & healthy 2026,
Melissa
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Hi Sammi,
Congratulations on getting through surgery. I had a clipping in 2018. One of the most significant challenges I experienced was a different depression from what i experienced in the past-it involved emotional flatness, and lack of motivation.it became necessary to develop significant self discipline as I needed to work asap after the craniotomy-I was sole support to my teen. I was doing physical activity for work (dog walking) and it really helped my brain. Please give yourself credit for small steps and improvements.
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Thanks Melissa that was really useful to read, I know I need to be more patient with myself
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Thank you, yes the depression is totally different, I’m out walking everyday as I’m a dog sitter so that does help and it’s exhausting having to motivate yourself to be positive some days and I know it’s going to be a journey
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Oh honey I feel for you. I did the same thing. I was SOOOO mean. I hope your family is understanding please ask them to do some research on TBI maybe that will help them. It has been 12 years for me. And I had a VP shunt and a few weeks ago it quit working and had to be replaced and I am doing fantastic. It TOOK ME soooo long to recover from the original Ruptured Brain Aneurysm almost 7 years. However at 9 years I was able to Return to work as a Registered Nurse Full time. I know I am sooo Blessed. I wish you nothing but Great health. And patience for your family.
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Thank you, I just need to stop being so hard on myself I think, I am loving this site though it’s so reassuring to know I’m not alone. Thanks for the advice x
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Apologies for chiming in but your conversation reminded me of something.
In short, I had a very similar experience as @mhagele: rupture, hydrocephalus, VP shunt, meningitis, second shut, return to work. As part of my recovery, I have had a couple of visits/testing with neuropsychiatrists. My first one really recommended meditation and mindfulness to me. Honestly, pre-rupture I would be one of those people that was not interested (Western, from a scientific-type/analytical/left-brain kind of tribe). However, since it was really emphasized I decided to give it a try.
It warmed the cockles of my heart to then hear of some scientific studies that suggest meditation can help with depression, e.g.
How meditation helps with depression
Brain Injury Canada: Mindfulness Cognitive Based Therapy
Meditation Won’t Cure Your Depression, but It Can Be a Big Help
Another organization here in the US that focuses more on Traumatic Brain Injuries (v. Acquired Brain Injuries which include ours) is Love Your Brain. I have only done a very little with them, but they have never kicked me out for being a cousin. They have a variety of meditation sessions, in addition to all the well known ones out there. My personal go-to is Healthy Minds, as I love the neuroscience lessons interspersed with the meditation, but if one doesn’t work for you, there are tons out there to try. Plus, it is free with limited ads, so that is also a bonus to me.
Of course, @Moltroub is 100 million percent right that a professional’s voice matters far more than my dribs and drabs!
You have been through a really tough procedure. Healing from brain injuries is in terms of months and years, not days and weeks, so be kind to yourself. You are worth it!!!
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Sammi, it took great strength & courage to reach out. Depression is real, what you are facing is real & valid. There is hope, you already made it past your first step, acknowledging the depression & reaching out. Depression can be so handicapping of your mind & precious time. I battled thru depression my aneurysm was 2yrs ago, cool and stent, followed by 2 strokes. Being a recent single mom to 5. I get how easy depression can set in. I encourage you to calmly take one day at a time. Invite one person over to your house maybe for dinner. This will leave you stil feeling in control & you can say when your company needs to leave. Start slow. Engaging in some social gatherings with no more than 2 people. Ease into it.
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