my son has suddenly become very abusive especially to his wife, who is his only caretaker, he calls her at all times of the night and expects her to come rub his back or sit with him and when she says not he becomes very abusive, I called him and tried to tell him he can't do that and he hung up on me, that is not something my son would do, I should add that he lives in fl. and I live in Il.
No one should put up with abuse...Your son is only 2 months from a rupture and it takes time...and no one knows what part of the brain has been effected...His wife should talk to the Doctors and let them know what is going on especially before he is released to go home...Wishing the best ... ~ Colleen
Jan...welcome...I read your intro and the two months...
Is he at home? What home health care has been provided?
RE: emotional reactions, etc...you may want to research: limbic system...aka "emotion brain" ...where it is located, what structures are involved /related...the circadian rhythm (our sleep patterns) are also in the limbic and many of us have had that problem; some recover...many of us at diff levels...a/w/a our body temp regulation... A couple of weeks ago...I asked about limbic system in our "ask the doc"...forum
May help you and d-I-l in setting up questions to ask the doc(s)... to assist his recovery...
Has he been given neuropsych testing? Does he have a neurologist?
I could ask/suggest a zillion more things...
Prayers for his good recovery...and, that you and d-I-l keep your rest and your health...
Pat
he was in ICU for 3week, it took him most of that time just to wake up and start to talk, at first we couldn't understand a word he said, that has come back, but he doesn't sound the same and he has a very short attention span,he gets one thing on his mind and that is all he can do, like he wants his wife to come sit with him, he calls her all the time, even in the middle of the night to come sit with him, I tried to explain she needs sleep because she has to work and he hung up on me, and that is not my son...he was moved from ICU to a rehab, had intense rehab there and they said they couldn't do any more for him, so he was moved to an assent living rehab two weeks ago and that doesn't seem to have helped at all, he will have to come home in two weeks because insurance will run out...I'm sure he doesn't have a general dr. as of yet, but will need to get one...I don't know what tests he has had, I just need some input on will he get better and how long will it take, and so far no one has been able to tell me this and I understand that every one is different and one rule doesn't fit everyone...thanks for letting me vent, I need someone to vent to...Jan
If you read some of the stories here on this site Jan...it can take sometimes 2 years or more after a rupture to heal...it takes a lot of help and patience...his wife needs to talk to social worker at the facility if he is being abusive to her...to get them both some type of intervention...and also, to talk to Neurologist and Neurosurgeon about getting a Psych evaluation as Pat above me suggested...~ Colleen
there is a big problem, his wife isn't doing anything, she just thinks he will come home and be able to go potty in a commode and sit in a wheelchair or bed all day, and I can't see her getting any help for him...
Jan...
so many of us have been given the run around on condition/status...frequently told "not related to the aneurysm"... and, which I have so come to believe...not "the aneurysm"...
None of you, including him, will know if/when he will get better...if you are not given, at least adequate, data on his condition/status...the areas of his brain...the causes of those areas...
I resume you mean his insurance hospital days are ending...not his insurance policy...can you find out if he has home health care coverage...in any format; i.e. some daily caregiver help and/or at least any therapies at home? If not...is he able to stay safely at home alone?
Prayers for you to get the best, at least adequate, answers... .
Pat
his insurance for in-patient rehab will run out, he will have 60 visits in-home now. I don't know how well he can get from bed to the wheelchair by himself, he has a friend coming to stay with him, hope that works out..
Your son needs someone to advocate for him medically...not sure who can help him out...should be his wife, but sounds like she is in denial...She may be surprised what happens when he comes home...wish all of you the best of luck...~ Colleen
my granddaughter lives down there and she is going to go over and force her to get on the ball and get started getting things ready for him to come home, she needs a professional case worker who knows what to do, but have no idea where to find one
Glad for granddaughter...whatever facility your son is in now...should have a case worker that will help the family out...
Jan...
The BAF main site has a page related to various services/types... then attempt to locate listings in your son's locale...etc... Try calling social services at the hospital and at the rehab center...for referral data of home services...
There is one, Visiting Angels home service...that supply varying levels of home health care...only learned of them several years ago from a friend in another state...but my memory blanks out detail...I do not know if covered by insurance, etc... or what the rates are...
When I was discharged...the hospital rehab/PCP did the referral forms...to a completely diff home service facility...the form was 14 pages...and, they connect/correspond w/the main hospital updates blah-de-blah...
I so support Colleen noting the neuropsych testing etc...And, does/did he have an assigned neurologist while hospitalized or while in rehab? One assigned to him for any f/up?
Prayers for your coordination w/d-i-l; and granddaughter...
I have heard of the Visiting Angels and will research that more, and I do have a friend who does that work here in Il. looking into what they might have in fl. I want to thank every one for their responses, it has really helped, I was feeling very alone in this problem and now know I have a place to vent and get information from people who been there...great site..