Hi Y’all, My sweet “Annabelle” was found 1 month ago during an unrelated event. I am a nurse of 35 years, the last 20 working in the surgery department. I’m comfortable with surgery, I’m familiar with the processes. Until yesterday, I was ready for the surgery, looking forward to getting on to recovery. Then I went way down the rabbit hole yesterday reading post op complications, cognitive impairments. Don’t get me wrong, this group is so informative - I just wasn’t ready to hear the honest answers. Today I still feel defeated, like my career will be over after surgery. I’m just short of 2 years till retirement but I had planned to work through till then. I know that I will have my unique recovery and I can’t take on someone else’s path but this unknown post op period is shaking me to the core. The scariest part is the cognitive impairment, memory loss that should clear up “in 2 weeks to 3 months or so”. I’ve just been tearful since yesterday and I’m not shaking the depression. I’m sorry to be such a downer, I suddenly feel like I’m made of glass and I’m emotionally ready to shatter.
Thank you for listening and for sharing your stories.
I’m not a brain aneurysm patient (but I help out @Moltroub from time to time.) I have a similar condition that brings much of the same worries as a brain aneurysm.
When I found the sister community to this one, I felt a little like you do: sometimes what I read was encouraging and it helped me to rationalise what lay ahead but sometimes what I read knocked me back rather. It was hard.
If you and your doctors feel it is important to go ahead with surgery, then you’re choosing the less visible path ahead; you have to put your trust in the team rather than just yourself; and these are difficult things. We trust ourselves to cross the road safely, to drive to work safely, to come down the stairs, we do these every day and we trust ourselves to do them often without thinking. With surgery, we have to grant that trust to the team.
But you know what? You can do it. If it is more important to do it than watch and wait, then you’re taking a sensible path forwards. I felt very much the same as you do about 9½ years ago. A brain AVM surgery (my condition) seems a bit less impactful than BA surgery, so I’m lucky: I got through unscathed: but I worried about the path ahead in very much the same way as you.
Thanks you for your kind, calming comments. You make perfect sense. You’re right, I need to relinquish control. I’ve selected a neurosurgeon that I love and a facility that I’m confident in. Thank you for talking with me.
Thank you so much for doing your first topic! Well done! I ruptured and have only been treated endovascularly, not had a craniotomy yet and the last my neurosurgeon said, I’m still not a candidate for one as it’s not grown enough to clip. The third repair attempt, it was a possibility and we prepared the best we could just in case. I call it getting my house and House in order. So doing all the heavy cleaning, yard work for the house, checking in with my Higher Power and when we thought I’d get a craniotomy we had our wills updated. Bless the Elder Attorney, she made room after hours for us with her paralegal getting to the Clerk of Courts as we were getting off the freeway. Looking back we chuckle on what the conversation was during the hour or so drive, but it was a stressor at the time. We didn’t know until we met with her that our existing wills weren’t worth the paper they were written on. For us, it gives us a sense of control and focus on something not aneurysm related. I don’t think of it as avoidance just refocusing positive energy.
I’ve been hanging out here for a bit of time. Ruptured in 2013, promised Dr. Q-W I would not get on the internet for a year. Then found this group. What I’ve learned a lot from other members here is that although we may all have a connection due to having a brain aneurysm, none of us have traveled the same path. There are many similarities in emotions but after effects can differ dramatically. Some of my favorite members have ruptured, recovered and been able to get back in the workforce. I’m not one of them. I learned to make peace with it mostly, this group has been very helpful towards all,y relearning endeavors. The difference I think, I’ve no scientific proof to back it up, is that people who have positive outlooks generally have a more positive outcome in rehabilitation efforts. There’s also learning not to push yourself so hard you end up going back three steps. You and your brain will need to hydrate, eat protein, repeat and rest as needed is what my Neurosurgeon says. Ask your RDN or Neurosurgeon what will be the proper amount for you. For me, it’s a minimum of 90 grams/day anything less and I’m a stuttering mess. Electrolytes are really important when hydrating, make sure you get enough. You could probably start practicing now so you have a baseline but again ask a professional.
Please don’t measure yourself with the experience of others, we all get off the aneurysm hwy and take our on roads. Just know the neurons will learn to fire correctly even if they need to take a different route.
Come talk anytime, some one is always here. Just give time since we may be dealing with other life issues or in a completely different time zone.
I have had endovascular procedures to treat my ruptured aneurysm, so I cannot speak to a crainotomy. I did have some co-morbidities, so I ended up with a couple of more traditional brain surgeries (shaved head, staples, etc.)
From my experience, I have become absolutely fascinated by our brains and all that they do for us! You likely have heard of him, but just in case, you may want to check out Norman Doige’s books, although in full disclosure I have only read The Brain that Changes Itself - the other is on the to-do list.
I found it amazing to read these case histories of how amazing neuroplasticity is, and how much people can heal! I found it to be powerful and uplifting, so investigate and see if it might interest you.
Being a surgical nurse tells me you have a strong and resilient soul. I know you got this!!
Everyone’s comments are spot-on. Every experience is different. I have had 5 craniotomies, my post op experiences were different. Thank God I recovered from each of them, and was able to return to work 3 months later. I worked until I reached full retirement in August 2021. I had a ruptured aneurysm in December 2001, and between 1 to 2 years the doctors would discover another aneurysm that required attention. I was not managing my stress levels and was impatient with my recovery. I had to learn patience and to walk away from stressful situations. My last craniotomy was in 2015. The doctors are currently monitoring 2 aneurysms that are in critical areas of my brain, one is on my brain stem which is in operable. I keep a positive outlook on life and enjoy each moment of it. I give all praise and honor to God for each day he allows me to spend with family and friends. As the song says, Don’t worry, BE HAPPY!!!.
I was just getting ready to add an update when I saw your story just posted. Thank you for sharing your journey and yes and amen to God is all honor and glory.
Updating y’all, first thank you for dragging me out of the hole I put myself in. I had an appt last night with my good friend and therapist. Lots of planning and action to set up prior to surgery. The first and most encouraging plan is to start a “Brain Safety “ notebook/journal. Name and write down each scenario that I’m scared of then speak scripture over it then write down the “so what”. If I lose my memory, “so what”, I’ll use notepad, sticky notes, white board to remind me and move on. If I can’t return to work, “so what” I’ll retire early or file for disability then have time for all the things I’m too busy for now.
There’s a long list of things to get in order but only focus on the NEXT thing to do so as not to overwhelm myself and scatter all over.
Sounds simplistic, but it’s empowering for me. Speaking of empowering, she reminded me that I’m not in control, God is, stop trying to take control from Him.
“For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well.” Psalms 139:13-14. NKJV
She also reminded me that the part of my brain that process anxiety also process gratitude. She challenged me to find what I can always thank God for - a sunny day, birds tweeting, laughter, flowers…
Summing up, thanks again for being here. I’m going to start on the NEXT thing on my list to prepare for surgery (August 3 @ 0700).
“Now may the Lord of peace Himself give you peace always in every way. The Lord be with you all.” 2 Thessalonians 3:16 NKJV
Sounds like you’ve got yourself a great therapist for you which is outstanding! Besides all the th8ngs you’ve listed to help memory recall, they all help tremendously, don’t forget to put appointments in your phone’s calendar app with reminders set. Unfortunately if you have an iPhone like I do it won’t let you customize the time for alerts like the androids do. My last ST, I needed a 45 minute reminder but it wouldn’t let me do that. There’s got to be a different way, maybe travel time but I’ve not tried it.
Hang in there! The cicadas are up and making their noise, the Mountain Blue birds, Cardinals and wrens are all busy. Life is Good!
Your feelings are justified and they are reasonable. I constantly remind myself that everyone is different and the situation is unique to yourself.
The support and experiences of this group has been and continues to be a life line. You will probably experience many changes in the next few months but you can always know that there are others that can relate to your situation. You are not alone in those changes.
HI Annabelle,
First of all I think it’s really admirable that you shared your vulnerable feelings with everyone here - that takes bravery! I had my clipping done 18 months ago and when I would get into those dark places I would continually remind myself of how grateful I was to have the opportunity to be proactive in the surgery and avoid rupture. I found that really helped.
I was, like you, very worried about the “Post-me” so I want to share that I’m doing great. I really took to heart to take care of myself, slept a ton, didn’t push myself, walked in fresh air when I could. I felt back on my feet about 3 months after but I was still operating at a slower pace. I started working again 5 months after surgery and was lucky that I could take that much time off because I really did need it. I never had any memory loss, brain fog or issues that I can identify. So, the good news is that there are lots of good stories of recovery out there so I wanted to share that. I have a negativity bias so I easily can get dragged into the awful thinking but I’m trying to do better at focusing on the good stories first and mostly!
Hello! I hope I can help ease your worries at little. First, everyone’s situation with clipping is different and aneurysm location can make a difference. However, mine was a previously ruptured aneurysm clipped 4 yrs after the rupture. For the clipping I was only in the hospital 3 days including the surgery day. At the time I was 60y. I had head pain for several months but only needed ibuprofen, tylenol & a muscle relaxer. I was not given any opiod or strong pain meds even in the hospital after the surgery. On my way home from the hospital I felt good enough that we stopped at Walmart and I was able to go in and get a few things. Mine was on my right side which is the side I typically sleep on so sleep was mildly affected. After the staples were removed at 10 days I felt almost normal again. My memory or thinking was not affected at all by the clipping even after waking up right after the surgery. I was able to drive within 2 wks. Other than being more tired and worse headache for a while, I was back to my pre-clipping normal within 6 weeks. I wish you the best and hope your’s goes as well also.
Hi Annabelle! I’m 49, and I had an 8mm unruptured ICA supraclinoid aneurysm clipped in April 2025. I was scared too. Before surgery, I tried to focus on keeping my blood pressure down by not allowing my mind to wander on the “what ifs” and by taking long walks every day. The walks helped me to not only focus on other things, but also to prepare my body for the surgery. I was only in the hospital for 2.5 days, and by the end of 2 weeks I was walking 2 miles a day – because I was so active prior to surgery. I didn’t have any issues other than a cranial nerve injury which caused ptosis (couldn’t open my eye for a couple months) and double vision (that cleared up after 4 months).
I’m not going to lie and say that this journey has been easy or that healing was always a straight line. Some days it felt like time was standing still and I didn’t know how long it was going to take for my vision to correct itself. I didn’t even know if it ever would. But I recognize how lucky I am that we found it before a rupture and that I was able to get it fixed. If I had to make the decision again knowing what I know now, I would choose to do it again. It’s better than the alternative.
You will get through this. You might have some hard days emotionally and physically in between, but you will get through this. Know that you have a community of people here who get it.
Wishing you all the best and sending you a huge hug of support.
