Word of wisdom needed

Arturo, please know that your outward body is not the true you. You first must love yourself for all the things you can do, not all you can't do. It is not easy to go from negative to positive thinking. It is wonderful, considering what you have been through, that you can just pass your classes. This life is so full of ups and downs for everyone, and you are correct that some have much more difficultly than others. Each day look at a blessing in your life. Sometime we take the smallest blessing for granted. Please know there are so many of us here who support you, and will always listen to your concerns. I pray that you find the peace that passeth all understanding.

Kat, that picture is beautiful! You have a gift!

Kat said:

Hi Arturo,


I am so sorry that you are going through this. I have had a life time of setbacks, trauma, symptoms that have had me feel like I will never get ahead in life too. But, alas, I have not had a ruptured aneurism. Mine was clipped in December. I feel blessed to be alive and able to continue to be the blessing I was born to be, continue to hug my daughter each day, continue to marvel at creation and all precious creatures great and small.

I wonder if you can try to feel the petals or leaves between your fingers - it's such a wonderful thing to do to get in touch with creation and all its majesty. Just 'be' for a while so you can learn to love the beautiful you again, who hasn't changed. To learn again that you are precious, kind, important, worthy, loving and loveable. Even without a current girlfriend. That will happen in good time. It is your heart a loving girl will want. Can you do as I do and count 10 blessings each day for 1 month. It is GREAT therapy. You can show them with a basic camera phone on instagram. We could link up. Look me up under spitzephotography.

Are you being nurtured through with therapy and are there loving family members nearby? I am a fan of hugs, therapy and prayer after having experienced a great deal of trauma and loss.

When was the last time you saw a great comedy? Works a treat for me with a huge tub of popcorn.

Please go easy on yourself. Please have a good cry if you need to. Please seek help from a counsellor or therapist to help you get through this tricky stage. You will be ok. From your words I can see you are resilient and very strong. Please muster more of that strength like never before and know that you beautiful just the way you are. You *will* be ok. Big HUG!

Here is one of my images taken 2 weeks ago while about to jump on a ferry. I hope you like it. I love light, the sea, clouds. How much more precious you are than light, sea, clouds. :D






Arturo- I was diagnosed with an aneurysm in January 2012. Shortly after that I left my husband of 16 yrs (which actually had nothing to do with the diagnosis). In March I had the aneurysm clipped. I was in the hospital for 7 days due to a period where I couldn't tell the medical caretakers my daughter's name. I made it through that fog and went to live with my daughter during my recovery period. I was back to work in 7 weeks. However, I was suffering with a deep depression, anxiety, loss of short term memory and horrible fatigue. In spite of the fatigue I wasn't able to fall asleep at night. In December I stayed home from work just laying in bed sleeping and crying for 2 days. That was when I finally realized I needed some help to cope with my issues. I went to my doctor who put me on anti-depressants (I'd never taken them before in my life and I'm 61), anti-anxiety meds and sleep aid meds. I'm still on some of the medications But I'm doing much better. In July of 2012 I moved into my own apartment. Then in October of that year I took my cousin's cat because she kept it locked in the basement. I wasn't a cat person but it made me feel so good to come home to this furry critter who would run up to me when I got home. I have always been an avid reader so I started looking for a book club to join and I found a place called Meetups where there are all kinds of club I guess you could call them. Their subject matter is based on mutual interests like cooking, reading, hiking, going out to different places to eat. I to am an introvert and it's very hard for me to meet new people but I started doing that which helped me come out of my shell. I'm a paralegal and I struggle daily with remembering deadlines and staying on top of my case load. I did see a therapist on a few occasions too which helped somewhat. So I suggest you see a doctor about your symptoms and try doing some volunteer work. What is your passion? Mine was animals and reading so that's what I sought out. Just google Meetups and see if there is a group that catches your eye. As the others have said you're a very lucky young man, although I do understand you don't feel lucky right now. I feel you don't feel much self-love which I relate too. You are worth knowing and loving and the more you reach out for help the better you will become. Let nature bring vitality and love to your soul. Take walks, spend time in nature and see how it makes you feel. Good luck and God Bless you.

You, as everyone on this list, have much for which to be thankful. That's even evident in what you write. Thanks goes up and helps to change one's focus. So Kat's suggestion to think of 10 blessings each day is good. No matter what, it is a step in the right direction.

My wife also had feelings of worthlessness. She needed to be encouraged by facts. Now those feelings come much less often. There is hope. I'm encouraged by the fact that you can attend school and fulfill assignments.

Social life is an interesting phenomenon. You can be friendly, but you can't force friendship. But generally when you are friendly, someone will respond. Show yourself friendly--you can't control the responses of others, but likely someone will respond to the real person you actually are.

Arturo, I wish I could give you a giant hug. Please stay strong and never lose hope. Sending you lots of prayers and well wishes.

Dear Arturo,

You are a strong and determined young gentleman. Although I have never walked in your shoes, I can relate to what you are going through. My youngest daughter Alana was working out on 5-25-14 when her left side went numb. She could not talk, and fortunately she was in a public place where they were able to call 911 and get her help. She was taken to our local hospital where they determined she needed to be air lifted to the city to a larger hospital. She had a ruptured brain aneurysm. During surgery they discovered four more aneurysms which they were able to coil Unfortunately she was in a coma for two weeks. I sat by her side every day and told her not to give up as she was strong and a fighter. After two weeks she opened her eyes. After several days, it was determined she could not remember anything, nor could she walk or use her left arm and hand. She is left handed. She spent another seven weeks in rehab where she was able to learn to walk with the use of a leg brace and cane. Again she continues to fight. It has been eight months since her rupture, she lost her job as her employer would not hold her position, and started to feel all alone. One day she called me into the room and said - Mom I am not giving up. That was the first time she was able to put words in a sentence that actually made sense. Please know that you are not alone, there will be struggles, however just like my daughter - you are a survivor and are here to tell your story. Never never give up!! Keep up the fight - some days tougher than others.....

Hi Arturo, I can see how this hurts and that you feel alone. I had a 31mm fusiform aneurysm. I am also lucky to be alive. This is what I say to myself. THIS IS WHAT I HAVE TO PROVE THAT I AM STILL HERE. So this is what you have. You are proof that you are supposed to be here. Maybe to help out someone else. Maybe to show someone, that it's not that bad, if you put your mind to it. YOU go to college? That something that I am not sure if I could do. That scares me, yikes! I know I just plowed and shoveled my way out of this driveway. Shocking because I know when I get to work, half of them will not be the there...and here comes the aneurysm girl. Did it all herself...wow. Know why I did it? Because I have to prove to myself that I can. It is important. YOU are too! And you show people that it can be done. They are wasting their bodies until there is an example close to them. Some of them never realize who special life is. We know. And we keep going on because we are an example of how strong our bodies and our minds are. Keep going. Know that; 'you have this to prove that you are still here'. You can get over the hurt and keep going. That's what we do. Go get 'em.

Hi, Arturo, I understand your feelings. I too am sad about how much has been taken from me from my aneurism. And I too, try to be happy, it is hard. My friends and family, and surgeon says how lucky I am to be alive and able to walk and talk. I get headaches from the weather, I cannot exercise, I cannot work. But I will create a life that works. You are young and will heal faster. With your desire to have more in your life it will happen. Give it time. Do things that you like. Be with people that you like. A girl is around the corner. Enjoy school.

Hello Arturo.....

I feel for you so much....I have an unruptured Anni so I don't know exactly how you are feeling...but for me my doctors do not want to go in and fix as I have an autoimmune disease and they are afraid if they do my body will attack my brain and that will be the end....so I have to be very careful...my blood pressure is through the roof...had a wonderful career I Loved and had to leave and life has become a daily struggle to find some good things...not to mention full of out of the world pain....so I know how you feel....but I will tell you what a friend of mine here said to me one day when I was feeling oh so low....he said "JM if you wake in the morning and you take a breath...that is a good day"....no matter what struggle you will face on that day...or how bad you feel...your alive and breathing....others weren't so lucky....so I have always remembered that...these hard days no one understands...friends and family can't relate so they talk about anything else...sometimes my friends stay away...cause they just don't know what to do or say...which most times I just need them to be there and maybe make me laugh and forget about all this...but that is human nature unfortunately. This has taught me to be a better friend...but still those days of loneliness are hard to take...so those days when I think the world is a cruel unfriendly place...I come here....here I find the support...Love and friendship I need. We may be miles from one another but here we are close...we can share how we are feeling and everyone understands....no one will judge...just Love you...So I will pray that your life there will get better and know you are Loved here...days will get better...have Faith...we are here....we Love you...you are a special person...don't let anyone or anything say any different....{{HUGS}}

JM

Arturo, has your stroke affected your short-term-memory? If so, you might be able to ‘compensate’, by going to your school’s tutoring center and see about working there, after you determine what subject or discipline is most readily-accessible to you.

How I did this was, after I had my final stroke and craniotomy, my short-term memory was profoundly damaged, making it very hard to engrave new information into my crystal memory.

But, the information I had acquired before my final stroke became amazingly accessible to me. That’s how I was able, easily, to work my way through grad school, financially.

As far as compensating for the cognitive deficit that I acquired, I used Dragon NaturallySpeaking!, for writing papers, taking notes from recorded lectures and for pre-reading textbooks/reading course handouts.

Eventually, the simultaneous acts of speaking, viewing/monitoring the words that flashed up onto my monitor, hearing what I had uttered and assuring that what I spoke lead me to miraculously regain a lot of short-term-memory capacity that I thought was lost, forever.

I had my final stroke and craniotomy in 1987 and started using Dragon NaturallySpeaking! in 2003.

Arturo,

Bless you! I was diagnised with one aneurysm in April, 2012 and it turned out I had two, rifht acriss frim each other on the same artery. twi aneurysms in

Good Morning Arturo... I was 34 (a couple years ago) when I had surgery for my aneurysm. I subsequently had a major stroke and several smaller strokes in my right hemisphere. It took me a good 2 years to start feeling like myself again. I still did things during that time frame, really pushed myself, and even started my own business, but I also experienced some of the things you're going through currently. I was very withdrawn and lacked confidence in myself and my abilities, which was the complete opposite of how I was before everything happened.

I think a lot of what you're experiencing may be due to your stroke, at least it was for me. Many stroke victims suffer from depression for years after it occurs. Try joining an online stroke survivor group as you may find that helpful. Please don't give up hope.

It seems you are articulate and intelligent and have a lot going for you. There are many people who have not suffered what you have, and they do not have the ability or opportunity to attend college and be successful.. and here you are making your way through college successfully! That is a reason in and of itself and to be proud and have confidence in your abilities.

Another thing I found helpful is to keep telling myself to only look forward, not backward. For example, don't read those old emails and think of what could have been. If you keep re-living things that have happened, or focus on the negative, it will bring you down. You're definitely not alone and what you're feeling is completely normal considering everything that has happened. Hang in there and keep doing what you're doing. Wishing you nothing but the best!

Dear Arturo, My husband has just gone through clipping of an aneurysm. Things will be different forever, but that is what happens in life. My son spent 4 years of college fighting a semi-debilitating illness, so I understand a little of what you are going through. It is very difficult. You must maintain a sense of humor and reach out to others to help and be helped. All of us have problems and difficulties, even if you can't 'see' them and if you reach out to your fellow students with a smile and compassion, many of them will reach back. It is in giving to others that we receive. Above all, pray. God has a plan for you. Ask him to show you what that plan is. I have found that praying for intercession from St. Jude, patron saint of hopeless cases, is wonderous! Give it a try! I will pray for you, Arturo. Peace. Claire

Arturo, I haven't read all the responses, so I may be repeating someone else. You have had a loss, more personal in a way than a death of someone you know because your loss is always with you. Allow yourself to really mourn, to grieve the loss. You may need to seek help from a pastor or counselor to help you through this process of dealing with your grief. My prayer is, that after you have allowed yourself to grieve, you will be able to regain peace and live your life fully, stronger than before because of the trials you have undergone. Blessings, Lori

Beautifully said!



Kat said:

Hi Arturo,


I am so sorry that you are going through this. I have had a life time of setbacks, trauma, symptoms that have had me feel like I will never get ahead in life too. But, alas, I have not had a ruptured aneurism. Mine was clipped in December. I feel blessed to be alive and able to continue to be the blessing I was born to be, continue to hug my daughter each day, continue to marvel at creation and all precious creatures great and small.

I wonder if you can try to feel the petals or leaves between your fingers - it’s such a wonderful thing to do to get in touch with creation and all its majesty. Just ‘be’ for a while so you can learn to love the beautiful you again, who hasn’t changed. To learn again that you are precious, kind, important, worthy, loving and loveable. Even without a current girlfriend. That will happen in good time. It is your heart a loving girl will want. Can you do as I do and count 10 blessings each day for 1 month. It is GREAT therapy. You can show them with a basic camera phone on instagram. We could link up. Look me up under spitzephotography.

Are you being nurtured through with therapy and are there loving family members nearby? I am a fan of hugs, therapy and prayer after having experienced a great deal of trauma and loss.

When was the last time you saw a great comedy? Works a treat for me with a huge tub of popcorn.

Please go easy on yourself. Please have a good cry if you need to. Please seek help from a counsellor or therapist to help you get through this tricky stage. You will be ok. From your words I can see you are resilient and very strong. Please muster more of that strength like never before and know that you beautiful just the way you are. You will be ok. Big HUG!

Here is one of my images taken 2 weeks ago while about to jump on a ferry. I hope you like it. I love light, the sea, clouds. How much more precious you are than light, sea, clouds. :smiley:






hi Arturo, I can relate to the disconnect, I am 5 yrs post sah, permanently disabled and lost my job & ability to drive since I am blind left side of both eyes. hang in there it will get better. stay far away from the ones wasting their lives, they will want to drag you down to their level. I would recommend a live support group in addition to here. Are you involved in a church? I would highly recommend it. My uncles and cousins take me to church picnics, concerts etc etc- its a great way to socialize. We all suffer ptsd to some extent and you seem to have it bad, find what works for you- clubs or groups or therapy or you might need to just be alone to sort things out- it takes a long time to find our way. hang in there, you are doing GREAT!! I saw your pic, you are a handsome man, Mrs right will find you soon I bet!

I have not read all the other replies, but here are my thoughts:

You asked, should you cry, or just be angry? I say, Yes, both-- from time to time. You went through something awful and you were robbed of the "normal" starting college experience and your ideas and plans for how your life was going to go. Those are big losses that you have to grieve and work through, and that's a messy process. You can't snap your fingers and be "better!"

But you cannot let your whole life be about this one horrible traumatic event. You have been given the time and opportunity to do and experience more. You need to focus on what you want to do-- long term and short term, and work toward those goals, and find things you enjoy and get out there and enjoy them, because we all know how things can change in an instant.

I love the suggestion to volunteer! Helping other people helps you in so many ways. I know you are so busy with school, but it seems to me that you also need more companionship: study groups, church, clubs, anything you can stand to do that gets you around people.

Finally, you sound to me like you could really use some professional counseling or therapy. You could be officially depressed, but even if not, having someone to talk through all this stuff will help. The university has counselors or your doctors will have referrals.

I think for me this experience has been a lot like the grief of losing a loved one. You never quite "get over it," nothing is the same again, but you can go on. The pain is always there, but your perspective on it changes. Right now, it's still looming large for you, but it doesn't have to always.

Arturo,
Sorry, hit the wrong button!

Anyway i had two aneurysms right across from each other on same artery. I had one coiled successfully in May 2012 at Vanderbilt Medical Center in Nashvile, TN. The other one requires a pipeline which is a more serious procedure, so I have put it off. I met with a doctor here in Knoxville, TN yesterday and he recommends going ahead and fixing that whole portion of the artery with the pipeline now. So I guess that is what I will do. If we do not fix it, it is going to blow, and i think I’d rather risk not making it through the surgery than having it blow. So I need prayers for this coming up! Not sure when yet, have an angiogram scheduled for Feb 6, so he has no surprises!

Now there’s my situation, back to yours. I am 66, so I have been around a while! My youngest son (of 3) is 27, 28 next month. I have 4 grandsons and a great granddaughter on the way, May 22 (Finally a girl!). I have a lot to live for! You have a lot a living to do my friend. I do not know your religious beliefs, but I am a Christian and I do not know how I would have survived this far without God by my side. I have turned my fate over to Him and put my life in His hands!
He is there for you even if you have not called on Him before. I will pray for you, that you find peace in being alive, and pray for your health to improve. I am convinced that if you turn yourself over to Him, you will not only find peace but patience and a better life. What have you got to lose?

Good luck to you and a better tomorrow!

Your friend Susan

You might want to see your doctor and tell them the way you feel. I am a ruptured aneurysm survivor, living with another one that needs to be clipped. I take Welbutrin XL (antidepressant) and it made a world of life for me. Please talk to your doctor and I wish you the very best!