This website has been a god send since I stumbled across it last week and I’ve been on it every day since.
My otherwise healthy mother (58, active, no smoking/drinking) suffered a ruptured aneurysm last Wednesday night after a quiet celebration of my dad’s birthday. She had called my dad and brother upstairs after saying she didn’t feel right. She said she was going to pass out so they sat her in a chair. She began to vomit and lose consciousness. Ambulance came, and she was able to go use the bathroom with their assistance before going to the hospital.
I later got to my parents house and we got the call that she had an ruptured aneurysm and was going to get it coiled. They called to tell us the surgery was a success but they are going to take her for a CAT scan. They called back soon to tell us she was having “catastrophic bleeding” after the surgery and gave her/us very little hope. She’s at Sunnybrook hospital in Toronto which everyone keeps telling us is one of the best in the country. What’s making everything harder is only my dad can go visit for 2 hours a day.
She’s now in heavy sedation, intubated, with drains in her skull. The doctor said she is still showing lots of blood on the brain which can’t be drained and just needs to be reabsorbed. I think blood pressure goes up a bit every now and then, but otherwise vitals are ok and her pupils are reacting to light. Otherwise very little change.
After what feels like both a few days and a few months, she’s been there for a week and I know reading others’ accounts that this is still so so early in her recovery process. These days are absolute torture in which I can only manage to stare out the window or cry. I can’t sleep or eat and I have headaches from trying to fight off all the worst case scenarios that are working their way into my head. It’s Christmas soon and we’re all just hoping she makes it through another day.
I was just looking for advice on how to continue being while your heart is focused on my mom’s survival. I feel like I’m grasping into hope so hard my knuckles are white. I hate going back to my own apartment in case I miss anything and can’t be there for my dad or brother. But being at my parents house and just waiting for a call but not wanting any calls to come in… we are all so anxious that something is going to go so wrong so suddenly despite everything being ok so far…
I’m… just looking for some advice on how to keep your head up and how to actually make it through these very long days… should we force ourselves back to normal? Should I be at home trying to get on with my day/work or just stay with my family.
I’m just feeling so lost and numb and confused…