It is April 2nd and I am remembering Monday, April 2, 2012. What a special day. Four years ago today Dr. Sander Connolly saved my life. I remember meeting him for the first time. The first thing he said to me was “You have no other option you need brain surgery.” Then he went on to say if not, I would probably be dead in 2-3 years. So today is a celebration of life because I have passed my life expectancy.
The past 4 years have been a learning experience. Learning to love myself even though I am not who I used to be. Learning what my limitations are and accepting them. Learning and understanding what Brain Flooding is and what a large place in my life it plays. Learning to ask for help when I need it and learning to do it myself as often as possible. Learning that the “baby annie” that is still in there will not rule your life. Learning that at 57 years old (or 4 years old depending on how you look at it J) life is just beginning and not ending.
I know I cannot take care of or please everyone else and that is okay. Sometimes you have to say “no” to people you love because it is not good for you. You hope they understand. Sometimes it means you are going to miss activities and invitations for various reasons. That’s okay.
It means having this group that has helped me so much on my journey. It feels good to try to help others deal with their experiences by sharing experiences, or just giving someone a shoulder to lean on and an ear that will listen.
So on this 4th anniversary of my brain surgery, I am the luckiest person in the world and I remind myself of that every day. I do have to learn not to care about the extra 20 pounds. I have a husband who still takes care of me in those little ways that he thinks I do not notice; who loves me and loves exploring our new city with me. I work with great people who have become such dear friends. On this my 4th anni-versary Dennis and I will go out for a celebratory dinner. We realize we are both so extremely lucky and I AM ALIVE!