Hey Sadie! Welcome again! Thank you for starting a new topic! Never, ever apologize for rambling. If you do then I’ll definitely have to and I like rambling. You actually didn’t ramble. You have an amazing amount on your plate right now, we get it. We also get the apprehension and fear that comes with the not knowing.
I’ve never had a craniotomy so we’ll need to wait for someone who has had one. I’ve read their stories and they were nervous prior to their procedure and what the outcome would be. It’s the unknown isn’t it? Most had great outcomes, if they didn’t rupture before their craniotomy. Ruptures make things different. My neurosurgeon did think on my third repair attempt she may have to do a craniotomy so I cut my hair short just in case. My thinking was to balance it out a bit. Hair grows back and many members get a different style to cover the area.
Everyone is a bit different in recovery. One of the things that I think helps the most is one’s perspective, also of course learning relaxation breathing. There’s many YouTube videos on it but you have to be dedicated in practicing multiple times a day for weeks until it becomes a natural part of you. It’s like learning to walk after crawling, takes time, effort and dedication. You already have those traits being at university!
I asked my neurosurgeon early on what caused aneurysms. Back in late 2013 or early 2014 and she said no one knew what caused them. They could be familial, meaning genetic as they run in families which wasn’t my case. There also is a theory of prior head trauma which is my case, substance abuse and a few others that I forget at the moment. So I don’t think the docs are confused, they just don’t know. Some will be honest and others well not so much, I like honesty, doctors are human after all and can’t know everything.
Smart move taking a semester off and giving yourself time to heal, well done! I hope you do get to go with your friends to that music festival, something to still look forward to! I experienced what most would call a traumatic event in my last semester and took almost two decades off. I needed to change my perspective and with the help of a really good therapist a few years later I did just that. Hindsight being what it is, I should have gone to the dean and talked to him or another professor, they both had experienced a lot of trauma and would have been able to help. But I was too proud in my youth to ask for help. You are not, so I think that’s great!
There was a member years ago who I recall had ruptured and he was able to go back to running marathons the next year. I’m leaning that he had a craniotomy but don’t really remember. Everyone experiences pain differently. I have an “abnormally high pain tolerance” according to a doctor or two. Some people have a very low tolerance to pain so the pain you might have will be correlated to your tolerance.
I have a few more decades of life experience than you. I look at life as chapters of my life book. My rupture is but one chapter that includes all the procedures I have had, it doesn’t define me, it’s just one among many chapters. Maybe that can help you as well. I always see the beauty around me. I do take time to smell the roses now more than before. I would suggest looking into practicing mindfulness along with the relaxation breathing.
I would also encourage you to talk with your family. Talking will help you all alleviate stress. They may be in the same boat and don’t want to stress you out anymore. You won’t know until you talk. Be honest with them and they’ll hopefully be honest with you as well. It will also help you feel less alone in all of this. I believe that with everything I know, have taught families and have personally experienced. You aren’t alone, we are here and we are a good start. But your family will be a better gift if you will communicate with them and they’ll hopefully with you. With your family and friends, they can give hugs. Hugs increase endorphins which are our feel good hormones.
There are a lot of risks to brain procedures. My belief is if we go in with a positive attitude we experience a positive outcome. It’s helped me every time, even my last angiogram when I went into full blown anaphylactic shock and the RNA was not prepared and in my opinion pretty dang ignorant of dye allergy. But I was able to let my neurosurgeon there was a problem and she righted the RNA. I also kept doing my relaxation breathing as best I could as I knew that helps me with anaphylaxis. It was funny to hear everyone keep telling me to breathe although I couldn’t laugh because I was concentrated on breathing. I couldn’t talk but I kept giving the docs and the NP a thumbs up. The RNA finally came back with the stronger shot and then my Neurosurgeon ordered a push on the saline solution to help get the dye out faster. It was the only bad thing that happened to me since I ruptured in my opinion.
There’s a multitude of ways to help being positive, cup half full type of mindset https://youtube.com/shorts/yuaGoPdCKKY?si=GFS4yuf9XZS0n9mu just look for others. I also like this website here’s but one, there are many others. There’s a dang commercial in the beginning so you may want to fast forward about a minute or so. Happiness Break: Finding Calm in Uncertainty
There’s also this on Bee Breathing that @FinWhaleFan has posted 6 year old - #14 by FinWhaleFan
Keep talking to us, someone is always around and I hope those with craniotomies will come and share their experiences.