I've had a history of migraines, seizure disorder, and high blood pressure, so this day started no different than any other... with a headache and feeling like crap. I started my day as usual, a prayer for God to give me strength and protection to get to where I needed to go and back home safey. I was attending a meeting with a support group and while there my headache worsened and consumed me. At the end of the meeting I was asked to do the prayer and that's the last thing I remembered before waking up in the hospital. I was told that one of the last things I said out loud before having a seizure was "Damn, my head is killing me". Now, I was about to pray, therefore it must have been one heck of a headache. Lol At any rate, I do remember it being the worst headache I'd ever had.
I remember a doctor coming in and telling me that I had an aneurysm but it hadn't ruptured. He reccomended that I see a Neurosurgeon immediately, gave me additional meds to bring my blood pressure down and pain medication, and a couple of days later sent me home. I didn't know where to start, but one of my dear friends and co-workers', mom had a history with aneurysms so I went to see her her doctor. After having an angiogram performed, they discovered another aneurysm and shortly scheduled surgery. Now, they didn't perform surgery on both at one time but within 6 weeks weeks, I'd had both of them coiled. The first surgery went well and I seemed to recover well so they scheduled the second. During this second coiling, the aneurysm bled and I was kept in the hospital much longer, and I haven't been the same since. I don't remember much from the second surgery other than I experienced pain so severe that only Jesus could understand.
I was told that within six months to a year I should be back to my "old self". Well, that just hasn't happened. This month will be two (2) years and while I can walk and talk and function decently around the house, most days I am in pain and feel like a prisoner . I can no longer trust my driving ablilities because my judgment is terrible, my memory is horrible, I awaken with a headache every morning, I'm always dizzy and feel fatigued, and experience numbing and tingling quite often, among other symptoms. In other words, I am not my "old self", and sometimes wonder if I ever will be. I get depressed and angry at times and cannot discuss what I am feeling because no one understands, other than my fiance'. Family and friends expect me to have "bounced-back" by now, because it's what I've always done, whenever faced with anything, especially medical issues. I've always been the one to hold the family together and be the "positive" person no matter what. What they don't understand is that I'm simply not "that" Toni anymore, at least not yet, and that I'm doing the best I can. I'm also tired of hearing: "Well at least you're alive" as if I don't know God has been watching over me and sustaining me. I thank God for always being there, if it weren't for prayer, I don't know how else I would have gotten this far.
I was speaking on the phone with my daughter the other day and she sugested that I look online and seek a resource where I could maybe talk to other Aneurysm survivors. So today I did. I'm hoping this forum will enlighten me and provide some support in letting me know that I am not alone and others have and are experiencing what I am.