This is so hard

My sister suffered a ruptured aneurysm April 7, 2009. She is 48 years old and my only sister. She has come a long way since. She also suffered a stoke , she had vasospasm in ICU. She can move her right side but can’t feel it. I just miss my sister so much. I cry all the time. WE were so close and now I feel like I can’t help her. She gets very mad at me all the time and I don;t know how to handle this. Can anybody give me advice

I don’t think you are seeing this whole picture. She is not missing her sister because of a physical deficit. She misses what they had … who they were… what they did… Her sister’s life has changed forever. I am not trained in this area but I think that her sister is still in the anger stage. Acceptance Jim. I have to tell you that it was 3 years for me in May and I still have difficulty accepting my cognitive deficit and short term memory loss. Three years. I wish my deficit was only physical because then you are still who you were. You are still Donna, or Jim, or Ken or anyone of us. This situation is hard. It is very hard. I had to deal with my father’s AVM (1982) and his deficits and now my own. Only my father’s deficits were only physical so my father was still my father until the day he passed away but the situation is not the same for me. Donna I am going to send you a friend request so that you can email me if you choose to. Hang in there. It will get easier as time goes on.

Hi Donna,

I also not trained in this area either but I beleive as Donna, that your sister is mad because she isn’t who she is, can’t do what she use to do, in pain and not knowing if it will ever stop. It also seems when this happens you take it out on the person you love. Are you the prime caretaker for your sister?

Please understand that your sister is probaly having headaches, short term mermory lost, trouble expressing herself (can’t find the words) I have three fingers that are numb and every once in awhile it drives me crazy, I can’t image what a whole side would feel like. My rupture was in 2002.

What can you do? Stay positive, smile, tell her that you love her. Help when she lets you. Do things for her in the background. This is about all I think you can do.

Hope it helps and I hope I help you understand what she might be going through also

Take Care

My MOTHER is mad because I interfered with her CHURCH work. Her answer was to put me in a home with people 70 & over. I am FIFTY-SIX. However, I rely on the “Grace of God” & truly feel like I’ll go broke (Am widowed) & she will HAVE to ‘put me in Texas’ because my brothers & my son are there.
Actually am her 1st born & she wanted a boy. I DO stay positive, however, & help all I can here, which is not much…however ‘This too Shall Pass’ …I am polite when she comes, but she’s never been one to kiss & hug ANY one…I had that with my daddy…He died alone…(She divorced him & remarried less than a year later. I feel sorry for HER, NOT me. A woman here gave me a beautiful cross stitch of ‘Amazing Grace’ & she didn’t know that was my favorite hymn. I stay POSITIVE here/even alone in my room. LIFE is TOO short & I feel like God is NOT through with me. Just PRAY for her.

Donna,sorry to hear about you and your sister.On April 2nd 1999,my whole families lives changed.My wife(who was 41 at the time) suffered a major anuerysm and we all changed.My wife was loved by all and loved everyone before this and she also gets mad at the drop of a hat.She will never be the same person she was and that’s what makes her the mad the most,not necessarly at everyone else but herself.So please,don’t be hard on your self and believe me ,patience is needed so very much because they cant excpt that they’re not te same…good luck

Hi Bill, Sorry to hear about your wife and everything you have been through. It just feels good to hear from people that understand what this is about. I have not spoken to my sister for about a month now but everyday I miss her. I am going to try and call her today but I am always scared of how she will respond to me. Life is to short to fight and I thought we would have learned this lesson after eveything that has happened. But thanks for responding and I hope things only get better for your family.

Life is a GIFT from God. We have to go through the fire to get to the water…GOD will be with ANY one who simply ASKS. He IS the ‘water of life’ … my aneurysm was in my ‘circle of willis’ and sometimes NO one understands. I can remember the PAST but I am in a VERY BORING ‘facility’ where no one CARES. (My mother didn’t want to ‘pill me’…much less SEE me, and I am her 1st born.
I embaress (misspelled) It’s HER loss NOT mine) The Lord IS our ‘Water of Life’ …I can’t do ANY thing without the Lord Jesus Christ.

Hi Marianne, I am sorry for all you have been through. It is good to have god in your life and he will always be with you. I will say a prayer for you and for everybody that goes through this. Hope you are doing better and thanks for listening.

My life WAS saved by the ‘Grace of God’…It’s my mothers loss/and she will not answer to Me. ‘Good Works’ will not get her into heaven. God doesn’t care what she has/is/will do for the BUILDING that is ‘church’…physically or with money. PEOPLE are the church. PRAYER is our ‘sword’…the BIBLE our ‘guide’…Mother was by today (Its a 30 min. drive from the town she lives in) She stayed all of twenty minutes…the people here don’t care for her. She’s always done more/traveled more…These people (ALL her age: OVER 70) listen politely. She comes down to my room to make sure its orderly…it ALWAYS is…I have a bedroom & bath because I pay all the bills. I have all I need/so am not complaining…I don’t go to bed @ 7 like most of the people do…but I am @ the end of a hall. THIS TOO SHALL PASS. I don’t know what comes next, I know what & where I WANT to be…So I will wait patiently & hope it works out. GOD is with me every step of the way!