Really Grateful

Last year about this time I kept pestering my husband that I had to get a will. It became first funny then rather annoying. He finally asked me rather frustrated "what is the rush?" and I pointed to my head and said "well, I think I have a brain tumor". He looked at me like I had two heads and said I was nuts. In July my Doctor ordered an MRI because of some vertigo issues to rule out a concussion after a light jostle while riding over some sand. He said I had a small aneurysm and sent me to consult with the neurosurgeon. Many scans and tests later, and a resultant allergy to the contrast dye, I was finally told I would have to have it clipped. I was oddly calm. I figured oh no problem I feel fine. I have no pain just a bit dizzy. I tried to reassure my family I was fine. Had my clipping done 9/26/13. Throughout this time I have been pain free. My hair was growing in but I recently pulled off remaining glue and scab(?) and it took my hair with. I had to go through PT to work on equilibrium where they taught me many eyeball exercises. Exercises for my eyeball! Ha! I've been rather upbeat until suddenly it seemed I crashed. I started panicking I'd get another. What if it happened while driving? What if my son gets one? What if my food has GMOs? What if that tick I just pulled off has Lyme? OMG I was driving myself nuts. I swallowed my pride and started seeing a therapist to help me reign in. I finally decided to come here and turns out all the things I've been feeling are common. The fear, fatigue, gratitude...all of it. I've learned which hours are my most productive. I've learned that if I push too far that I take a few steps back and then have to rest. I'm overwhelmed by too much surrounding noise and I've retreated to more quiet activities. My family is learning not to bombard me with questions because I need time to figure out what they're saying. It's frustrating but I'm learning patience. And in between I play things like Scrabble, Soduko, Solitaire...things to exercise my brain. Holy moly ok this became a book sorry! Really I just came to say I'm grateful I found this site. LOL I should have kept it to that one line.

Lol! Sue thanks for the reply but more than anything that line where you said 'can't think of the word I want to say' was priceless. Because by late afternoon a conversation with me sounds like a game of charades. Where I'm in the middle of a sentence and then blank out on a word. So then I jump into trying to act out the word or using a spanish word in its place. Which is ok except my husband is polish and doesn't speak spanish.

Hi and Thank you so much for sharing...Your story and feelings are so like many of us here at BAF...and it is important to work through them so we don't let the aneurysm win...and we live life to it's fullest...and where I am standing you are doing a great job healing through this journey...wishing you a beautiful day ~ Colleen

Thanks Colleen and wishing you back a beautiful day!

That is one of the things that are so great about this site. You can just put down all of your feelings and know at least one person is going thru or has gone thru what you have. The support is awesome. We will jump up and down with you over good news and shake our fists with you when the news isn’t so good or you are fighting with insurance companies or the medical profession that don’t always understand. You just write whatever you’re feeling.

LOL thanks so much Myra!